Help..I need some solid advice

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jo_5537:  What are you generally doing for other singles at your wedding? Are you allowing specific guests to bring a date?

Post # 4
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Have you sent out STDs/invitations yet?  Can’t tell from your write-up if the ex-fiancee was originally invited before the breakup.  If she was, I’m afraid there’s not much you can do.  If you haven’t sent invites yet, your FI needs to speak to his GM and explain your no-guests stance (assuming it’s being applied across the board, not just to this one GM!).  If it’s that much of a point of contention, your FI may need to reevaluate whether this guy is someone he really wants standing up for him at your wedding.

Post # 7
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@jo_5537:  Wow wow wow! That boy is incredibly insensitive. Forget the no +1 thing. He has no right to invite someone who dislikes you to your wedding! Sorry, but your FI should realize that this guy is not being a good friend and tell him this woman is not invited. If he chooses to ditch the wedding over it that will prove right there what kind of friend he is.

Post # 8
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would suggest that the wedding party be allowed a guest. She will have to deal with sitting apart from him during dinner, but they will be abe to be together after that.

He should not have assumed he could bring a date- he should have found a polite way to inquire about that.

On the other hand, they could still end up to be a couple and if your FI wants to preserve a relationship with this friend, you may be forced to accept her as part of a package deal.

It’s just not worth stressing out about for the price of one more meal.

Post # 9
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

To be honest, I would use the guest count excuse. I am not even remotely petty, but this is your and your FI’s day and I would not have any guest there that one of us is uncomfortable with. Your wedding day should be stress-free and having her there will not allow for that. 

Post # 11
Member
687 posts
Busy bee

I don’t know why people are even arguing about this! He is trying to bring someone that you don’t like (and that doesn’t like you) and he is not even in a relationship with her… AND he won’t even be the only groomsman without a date?! Tell him no, no, no!

 

Post # 12
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

@jo_5537:  Should we just call and say, ‘hey my parents already have a number they’re expecting and we really can’t add one more person.  We never intended  on having plus-ones.’ ?

Yes, this.

Post # 13
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@lampshade:  +1

This is a no-brainer to me.

While yes, it would be nice to extend +1s to the groomsmen/bridal party, it’s not always practical, and if you let this guy bring his ex-FI, you have to let the others bring their SOs.

If, however, they are in an established relationship again before you send out the invites, you might have to invite her.

Post # 14
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@jo_5537:  If he’s in the wedding it’s rude to not give a +1. 

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