- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Ok let me preface this story with one of my fiance’s groomsmen is extremely irresponsible. Because he has issues with this (not to be harsh) he tends to annoy almost everyone in our group of friends. However, he was one of my fiance’s first friends when he didn’t have many buddies when he was young. He has made a lot more friends, but always felt a kind of kinship with this friend. Ok, on to the story:
So this groomsman was engaged for a while to a girl that despite trying to be friends, never liked me. I was made aware of this after one get together in my own place that she refused to speak to me. Also, she had buddied up with another one of the guys’ girlfriends (while I tended to buddy up with my fiance’s best friend’s fiance). This was great at first but after one of them “jokingly” called me an a*&hole, while the other laughed, in front of everyone during a game, well, needless to say we all knew that there was some tension.
We knew that as his fiance she would, of course, be invited to our wedding. However, his buddy being the guy he is, he got caught doing some things he shouldn’t and they broke up. We haven’t heard much about her in a few months, although he has said she won’t get back together with him.
Fast forward to this weekend. My fiance had told his friend to go get sized over a month ago, but he had yet to do so. So he texted him a reminder. The friend calls and angrily says ‘why am I getting this? You never told me I was in your wedding.’ Well, he did, but his friend forgot. Instead of being happy that he was included (and not paying for a thing…we picked up expenses for the wedding party, as my mother believes is proper), he was rude, but eventually said ok, sounds great, I’ll go get sized.
So he calls again and reports that he’s bringing a date…his ex-fiance. My parents are spending a lot of money to feed people and my fiance already has 3X the number my side does. My mom was very angry that he just assumed he was allowed a date, one that he IS NOT in a relationship with, and whom has been very rude to me in the past. I talked to one of my “maids” about it and she was upset too. We both agreed that there was not much point in him having a date as he’ll be busy elsewhere all night and under no circumstances is she sitting at the wedding party table during the wedding…and believe me, he’ll expect her to sit with him. Am I being rude by 1.) we had never planned to invite plus-ones and 2.) not wanting someone I’ve had serious issues with at my wedding? My fiance feels bad for him because he can’t seem to get his life together and when I told him I didn’t want her at our wedding he seemed to be a little aprehensive to call his friend and tell him he couldn’t have a date. Should we just call and say, ‘hey my parents already have a number they’re expecting and we really can’t add one more person. We never intended on having plus-ones.’ ? My mother has already said to make the call and tell him that. Part of me feels bad being so blunt but another part of me recalls all the issues we’ve had and doesn’t want her at our happy day. What do I do?
I should add: by plus ones I mean for our single friends. All of our family/friends that are in a serious relationship/engagement/marriage will of course receive invites that include their significant other.