Post # 1
I am currently finishing up my junior year of college and living with a girl who is the same year. We are both 21. I have always been a hard-core feminist and a strong believer in waiting after college until even considering an engagement, if ever at all. I have been in a monogmous committed relationship for two years, and she has for one year.
But, last weekend my roommate got herself engaged! I was in total shock. At first when she showed me the ring I had to fake my excitement. Then today I decided that I love my roommate a lot, and I definately want to be supportive, even if I know that I am not personally ready for marriage/engagement.
Do any bees have ideas for fun ways to celebrate a college engagement? Is there any ways that I can get excited and be a good friend to her during this time, even if I’m still slightly skeptical? Thanks!
Post # 3
Start off by not judging her relationship and choice to get married. It’s her choice, and she decides if she’s ready. Something in your post rubs me the wrong way, almost as if you aren’t 100% supportive because she hasn’t aligned to your choices. Faked excitement is usually pretty evident, and I’d be really upset if my roommate wasn’t excited for this major, happy, lifechanging moment I’d just told her about.
Regardless, maybe you can orchestrate a night out for drinks with her close friends, or throw them a mini-engagement party with their college friends?
Post # 4
I see your point, but I feel that engaged women often feel very rude about how it’s their choice and other people aren’t allowed to have opinions. We should have boundaries and be free to make our own decisions, but other people will always have their opinion, and sometimes its good to listen to other people point out red flags. I know she’s in love, but she’s also very young and inexperienced, and marriage is an incredible commitment that’s technically supposed to last the rest of her life. I was just worried at first if she was actually ready or if she was just goo-goo eyed over pretty rings.
I know my parents were married around her age and in a similiar circumstance, and the marriage was downright horrible. My mom has told me many times that she wishes her family and friends would have cautioned her more, but she was just so caught up in the romance.
Just because you made a decision yourself doesn’t mean that everyone has to bow down and automatically love that choice. In fact, it may be a good idea to listen to their concerns.