(Closed) Helping Her Feel More Comfortable

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Just a thought, since this is their "American Ceremony," why not American-ize it for her and show her traditions from this country?  I’m sure she will be having a Chinese-themed shower in China already, so why have two?  You could have American foods (you know like cheeseburgers and hot dogs, while very non-dietetic, very American, as is pizza [yes, I know pizza is Italian], salads, ice cream, sandwiches, etc.) and do some of the typical shower games. 

If you are really set on incorporating Chinese traditions into the American shower, I’m sure there are a lot of Bees on here who can help (I know nothing about Chinese customs myself).

Post # 6
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I don’t know a lot about Chinese culture, but I work in a school that is predominatly asian,  I can ask my students (11th graders) when we get back from spring break about any traditions.  I do know that the color red is lucky, so I would decorate in red and gold.  Also, if there is a chinatown where you live, go to a bakery their to order the cake and some dumplings.  We go to wonder bakery in chinatown all the time (in fact I ordered my wedding cake there on a student’s suggestion) http://www.wonderbakery.com. The traditionl desserts have a simple whipped cream frosting with amazing fruit on top. 

Good luck, and let me know if you would like me to ask my student’s next week!

Post # 7
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Rainforest wedding, beachfront restaurant reception

I don’t have any suggestions, but just want to say that I love that you are asking this question! It’s so sweet of you to try to make her feel comfortable given her new surroundings. Having been a new immigrant more than once in my life I know what being homesick is like and that any reminders of home are often appreciated. She’s probably on overload with American culture and the fact that you want to give her a taste of home will probably be much appreciated. Kudos to you.

Post # 8
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

i was born and raised in america but am chinese, so i know a couple of things that are considered lucky.  make sure no one gives her knives or clocks as gifts, they are symbols of bad luck.

i think that although some of what caliocteach said is true (the red and gold are lucky colors), i wouldn’t consider dumplings as "welcoming."  the cake could be traditional chinese sponge cake with the whipped cream and fruit – it is either filled with whipped cream and fruit, or my personal favorite is chesnut paste. 

i actually don’t know if showers are typical in china, weddings themselves are usually formal banquets and not everyone has a church ceremony.  you may even want to double-check with the groom that a shower is appropriate, esp if she won’t know anyone there and might be uncomfortable.  she may feel more comfortable with a party that includes the groom and other people, instead of just women, where it’s not all focused on her.

Post # 9
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

I was going to list some things like nejgne did, but wouldn’t it be better to ask your friend for what he’d like included?  Traditions vary widely through different parts of China, and since weddings are traditionally thrown by the groom’s side, it would make the most sense to ask him.

Post # 10
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

I would ask your friend what her tastes are for food and activities.  

i.e. I have a lot of relatives coming from asia for my wedding and my mom would absolutely refuse to serve chinese food, since it’s not very good in the US in comparison.  In general, I feel like chinese people aren’t into cheesey foods, and usually like lighter foods.  but it all depends on personal preference.

 I’m not sure if you want to soemthing like an english tea party, if she likes tea.  Or spa day etc.     I know there’s a lot of games, but how good is her english?  I know things with humors tends not to go over welll, if english isn’t her first language.

 

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