Post # 1
Okay, so my husband is hot. And I love him. But I’m worried about his weight. He’s about 5’11” and 220 (I think), which just nudges him into obese category. He’s one of those people that you wouldn’t think it to look at him, because he is broad shouldered anyway. So I think he doesn’t consider himself to be that overweight, but has mentioned a couple times that he wants to lose weight.
I really want to help him, but I don’t know how. He hasn’t out-and-out committed to losing weight, and I don’t want to nag him. I’m pretty skinny myself, so I can’t do the “let’s lose weight together!” thing.
I do try just to cook healthier, and ask if he wants to go on walks together, but it just doesn’t seem to make a difference. I think I need to stop trying the sneaky approach and be more proactive. Like start packing his lunch.
I don’t know what to do. Should I say something about wanting him to lose weight? Or just keep trying to alter our diet, albeit more drastically?
Post # 3
You hit the nail on the head. Pack his lunch, don’t have bad snacks available for him to eat. Even prepare his breakfasts.
But this doesnt have to be time intensive. Whatever you make for dinner, pack the leftovers for lunch the next day (be sure to make enough)
Breakfast can be egg fritattas made in muffin pans so he can grab 2 or three and go. Or make a large pot of oatmeal and distribute into grab and go containers. Chop fruit so its easy to grab etc.
Its easy for him to eat healthy if there are only healthy foods around.
Do what you are doing, just do more of it. If after a while you cant affect his weight with cooking right, then you can sit down with him and tell him you are worried about the trend of his weight and what it might mean for his health in the future.
However, you cant make him do anything. do you two belong to a gym? Even though you are not overweight doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be working out and building muscle and keeping your heart healthy. Join one and ask him to go with you.
Post # 4
i have this problem too! hubby’s said before that he wants me to help him lose weight, but it’s hard to do without nagging him. i just tried the nagging approach yesterday and it didn’t work at all 🙁 and he does most the cooking so i can’t help much with the diet part. except calling him out for snacking too much! i’m going to try going to the gym together, but it’s hard with our schedules (he works 8-5, i’m a grad student and have an erratic schedule). we just made a deal that we were going to both try to lose 15 lbs by mid-march. anyway, i sympathize, and am trying to do the same thing, and need suggestions too 😉
Post # 5
Good thread!! I have the same situation. Hubby is 5’11” and 195lbs. He has hit 200 on ocassion and has mentioned losing weight, but hasn’t made any efforts to even though I try to set the example by working out. I’m petite myself so I can’t use the let’s lose weight together either. Following!
Post # 6
Honestly, there isn’t much that you can do for him until he *really* wants to lose the weight. Identifying that he wants to is a good first step, so is eating better and the like.. but until he looks at himself and says “Oh my god I have to do something”, there is little to motivate guys.
If you want to do the more subtle ways, you could join a gym yourself saying you want to get healthy (not necessarily skinny) and ask him to come along and help spot you when you are doing weights. Just getting him into a situation like that might motivate him.
Otherwise, I would stick with the healthy cooking. Getting rid of bad stuff in the house. Reducing the amount of alcohol you drink. Things that he’ll naturally fall in line with.
Post # 7
To help my FI lose weight, I started packing his lunch, cooking healthier; ie. a salad with every meal, and I don’t keep junk food in the house. It has really helped, and he has thanked me for it. He complained about the no junk food at first, but he eventually got used to it. Every couple of weeks, I will get him some surprise junk food, and that helps him stay on track. Also, when I pack his lunch, I will sometimes put a little love note in his lunch; not all the time because then he will expect it, but every once in a while, so he will be surprised and usually on the days that I include a note, he is having a rough day, so the note helps him get through the day. We are very in sinc with each other, so I think that helps too.
Post # 8
I’ll be honest, my husband has been overweight for most of our 6.5 year relationship, and he’s only recently (within the last year) found motivation to start getting healthy. All the healthy cooking, extra exercising, subtle hints, nagging, etc… didn’t help until he decided he wanted to lose weight and get healthy himself. In the last year he has really started to turn things around (he’s even training for his very first marathon!) but I don’t think I had much to do in changing things for him. I think encouraging a healthy lifestyle can help, but drastic changes are probably not going to happen until he makes a conscious decision to get healthy.
Post # 9
exercise with him. tell him you want to get healthy/get in shape together instead of losing weight. cook healthy meals, and do not buy any junk food.
Post # 10
I think cooking healtier and trying to engage him in different activities is a good way to do it without forcing the issue, plus you’ll get to spend time together.
Post # 11
DH has recently mentioned losing a little weight for work (sports.) I am fairly petite and don’t really need to lose any, but I go with him to the gym for company, and it helps me stay in shape! It is a good way to spend time together too.
I also try to cook healthier!
Post # 12
@lefeymw: Do you have a recipe for egg frittatas in muffin pans? Sounds intriguing!
@Mrs. Spring: Yeah, I think I realize that…but am worried that he won’t decide it without a boost! Though, the other day we were talking about finances, and how important it was to get/keep them in line while were young, and I pointed out that it’s the same with our health. It’s easier to keep healthy habits that to be in our 50s worried about heart attacks and cholesterol and have to start.
@noritake22: I think I will start helping him with his lunch. I packed him a salad once and he raved about it. He eats PB&J on whole wheat bread every. single. day. I didn’t think that it was unhealthy, but I guess it is a lot of carbs!
@lefeymw: We are graduate students, so we can go to the gym…just haven’t yet. I’ve had some health problems this year, so I’ve put off going, but I’ve always talked about how I wanted him to teach me how to swim (besides just dog paddling). Maybe that’ll motivate us?
I’m worried that if I push the issue, he’ll think I’m not attracted to him. I definitely am, but I also have seen pictures from when he was more svelte and have thought he looked pretty good then too! 🙂 My ex was really weight conscious and always convinced I didn’t find him attractive, and it was frustrating to have to always be reassuring him while watching him eat a cheeseburger day after day. (Girls – don’t do this to your man. Having been on the other side, I get it now. When, after the 1000th time you’ve told someone you DO find them attractive, and they still don’t believe you, it hurts. No one wants to be told they aren’t believed, no matter the topic! It hurts the trust).
Good ideas ladies, keep them coming!
Post # 13
The boost my husband needed was having a child. 🙂 Sorry, it probably doesn’t help much in your situation.
I think it’s great to encourage your husband in every way you can. And maybe remind him that you want to live a long, long time with him, and getting healthy will increase both of your lives. The thing that finally got through to my husband was a talk with his doctor about his life expectancy if he didn’t start doing something about his weight. He realized he wanted to be around for me and for our daughter and he would do whatever it took to ensure he will be around for a long time. Maybe encourage your husband to make a similar appointment with his physician? It might have more effect coming from a health professional he trusts.
Post # 14
@jedeve: if you look at his diet, are there certain things that you think are contributing to the weight? Perhaps if you can identify what those things are, you can start to replace them with other things.
The older we get, the more I really think diet plays a big role. Exercise is important too – but if you exercise and eat crappy, you won’t really do yourself any favors.
DH and I have been talking about getting in shape. He is 5’11” and 190lbs and has a gut (too much beer). I have never told him he needed lose weight, but we talk about health/fitness from a longevity standpoint.
I know that you said you don’t need to lose weight, but are there unhealthy habits in your diet currently? Perhaps if you mentioned wanting to change some habits into healthier ones, that could be the platform for the conversation.
Or, like others have said – just start making the changes and he may not even notice! 🙂
Post # 15
@oracle: That’s what I’m trying to figure out – what we can change in our diet. I rarely ever keep candy in the house (just some leftover from halloween), hardly ever bake desserts (once since we got married?), always have whole wheat bread, rarely have red meat (maybe once?).
I’m guessing we still aren’t eating enough fruits and vegetables. Definitely not 5-9 servings a day! Probably too much carbs. We eat frozen pizza about once a week, and fast food maybe once every two weeks. Maybe if we cut that out..
He goes through a 6 pack in about a week.
If we have peanuts in the house, we go through them really fast. Those are pretty high in fat.
I’m on a pretty restrictive diet for medical reasons, so its tough to figure out things that are healthy for both of us.
Post # 16
My husband is the same way 5’10 and about 210 right now….it is basically just a pot belly. The thing is that we do take walks every single day and we eat healthy most of the time. We dont keep anything unhealthy in our house with the exception of a few snacks (crackers, flavored rice cakes) but hes not a big snacker. Weve talked about him losing weight and hes done it before but him getting motivated is really hard. Im the same as you that Im thin so the daily 30-45 minutes walk are enough for me. I wish I had some good advice for you. Maybe you could ask him when the last time he had a physical was and then maybe the doctor would say something to him about his weight?