helping my friend…

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
4819 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would not be more than an acquatience to her. Tough love, that’s my dish out.

Post # 4
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Pralines:  I can barely go anywhere or do anything without contant phone calls, texts, emails, asking if I can help her financially, or complaining about how she is tired or grumpy.

If this is all you are getting out of this friendship then it’s time to say goodbye.  At some point everyone is responsible for their own happiness or misery and she has chosen misery.  Stop answering her calls/texts and if she doesn’t get the point, then twell her point blank that you are done coddling her and that she needs to figure it out for herself.  It’s harsh but you have enabled her to treat you like this and only you can make her stop.

Post # 5
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014


Your friend might be AFRAID of trying for fear of REJECTION from jobs, interviews whatever it is!

My FI was afraid of getting rejected when he first applied for jobs, it scared him from doing it

I did all for him cause I know he HAS the technical knowledge and the ability to perform if he just didn’t see how many # of applications went out VS #actual interviews he got. Cause that can be a big blow to your self confidence. 

I don’t tell him the number of places I applied or else he would feel soooooo bad, and companies often don’t provide feedback for a rejection of a resume or application, no just means no sometimes regardless if you’re qualified or not. Maybe that big initial push for self confidence to actually get a job will help her.

Post # 6
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Honestly, I would give her some tough love and explain to her all of her shortcomings and tell her that you’ve done everything you can to help her, it’s time for her to put on her big girl panties and pull herself up by her bootstraps and BE A GROWN UP. And until such time as she figures out her life, you are going to continue to live yours without her in it. I’ve done this with a friend in the past and it actually worked. But sometimes friends just grow apart.

Post # 7
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard

@vmec:  I agree! if a person has a way to get themselves out of a bad situation, and they don’t, I have absolutely no respect for them. tough love.

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