Post # 1
Long story…but basically my MOH backed out completely from planning our wedding shower…she did this after I already booked the venue that she asked me to book 3 weeks before in my city (she lives in another so it was easier for my 90% guest…upon my request to have it in my city). After booking she then tells me that maybe there is no budget for getting a venue (the booking was made on my credit card)….what she didnt know (I tried to tell her before I booked…but she hardly answers her phone…was that there was a $60 cancelation fee)….so she got upset at my FI and I because “she was doing all this for us and now we are just making things way too difficultbfor her”….so she backed out of planning.
So here I am 1 week out and still trying to figure out what to during my shower. I decided to send out evites (since most people I assume are tech savvy..and it saved money and time )…apparently no one checks their emails…so I sent out facebook event…and a lot never check that either…
I am a little freaked out that only 10 people will show and I will have nothing to do there.
I am trying to do a joint shower (guys and girls….some may call it jack and jill…and no not the fundraiser version type stag and doe)
Does anyone have any ideas of what types of games that could be played with men and women? There is a lot of grassy area at the venue and it could be done outside.?
I think I just need some encouragement and motivation to actually follow through on this…I feel like giving up and throwing away the money we used to rent the space.
Also how do I tactfully ask my out of town bridal party for any help (esp financial) if the party is supposed to be for me..while planning the shower (before backing out) my moh emailed all the party to help contribute.only half of them contributed the other half just kinda ignored the email.
Post # 4
I am so sorry this is happening to you, do you have no other bridesmaids, friends or mom that can take some of it on?
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Gables at Chadds Ford
However many people show- remember they are there for you! It’s unfortunate that your MOH, who is supposed to be one of your biggest supporters, is acting this way. Perhaps she will come around? Maybe she is just someone who can’t handle stress. I would try to smooth things over with her if possible and see what comes of it. Otherwise, it might be a good idea to consider revoking her MOH title because she is not showing she deserves it right now. Your MOH should certainly be in charge of discussing financial issues with the other bridesmaids. If they respond better to you, maybe you could ask small favors of them instead of asking for money. For example, maybe you could ask one to make cupcakes and ask another to pick up flowers?
A co-ed shower sounds like fun! Maybe have your FI call people who didn’t RSVP yet so it doesn’t seem like you are throwing your own shower. Games can be fun but are not a must if its driving you crazy. You can always just have little sheets of paper for wedding and marriage advice- people usually write either really sweet things or really funny stuff! Otherwise, what kind of games would you normally play with your friends? It doesn’t have to be shower related. Look up the game “Headbandz.” It can be a many player game and you could make it yourself if you wanted to with wedding related words. (You wear a card on your head and have to guess what it says lol)
As far as canceling your rental space- would it be less expensive in the long run to keep it or to do like elsewhere (someone’s house maybe?).
Maybe this is a blessing in disguise- I am a control freak as far as wedding stuff goes- planning most of it yourself may mean it will turn out better! Best of luck to you with this situation!
Post # 6
Why do you need games? We had a joint shower and there was eating and drinking and talking like any other party. idk, I’ve actually never been to a shower at which there were games.
Re: financial contributions – I think it’s REALLY TACKY to ask people to contribute financially to help this party. Really with showers, someone is supposed to volunteer to host. HOWEVER if you really feel you need help, can’t you just have it at someone’s house and have the food potlucked by close friends/family? That is the way the vast majority of showers I’ve been to have been. Not expensive at all, and whoever’s home it is at will be the official “host.”
Post # 7
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@KingsDaughter: Just cancel and eat the $60, you will waste much more money than that in the rest of the wedding planning process.
Post # 8
@KingsDaughter: I’m sorry you’re going through this but…I’m having a bit of a hard time getting past the idea that you’re throwing your own shower.
You should not ask your BM’s to help financially. If the party wasn’t their idea and isn’t being planned or hosted by them, they’re not obligated to finance it.
If I were you I think I’d just bag it and lose the $60 or carry on and just have a very small, low key party.
Post # 9
This. It’s always nice if people offer to throw you a party, but throwing a party in your own honor is a little… gift grabby? I’d just lose the $60 and move on.
Post # 10
Just cancel it and lose out on the $60. I’d also re-think this friend as your MOH, if she backed out now, what else is she going to back out on?
Post # 11
failed to mention the day my moh backed down was the last day to cancel with a cencel fee…if I cancel now I have to pay the full amount of $180.
Post # 12
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@KingsDaughter: I’d still cancel….
Post # 13
Wow she really f*cked you over didn’t she. However I would still cancel.
Post # 14
+1. If the other members of the bridal party didn’t offer to help, especially after your MOH contacted them, you can’t hit them up again for money for a party they had no say in planning.
Post # 15
I would cancel and lose the $180. You will spend MUCH more than that if you actually throw the shower.
Post # 16
@cmbr:may i also add…everyone else in the bridal party offered to help, they all had a say in planning from the beginning. the planning just became awkeward when I had to take over I had no idea what was going on except for the venue … they they just ignored the original email my MOH sent out to ask for financial help since they can’t help physiclly….out of my 5 bridesmaids…one is a jr bridesmaid so she can’t help much….one just skipped town (she offered to help and then just sorta left…will be back for the wedding)….2 are out of towners (they were the ones who said they would help with money…only one did) and the other is actually helping ….
@MrsTVLover: we can’t afford to loose out on $180 just because my MOH was a jerk..