(Closed) help..left to planning my own wedding shower

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 4
Member
866 posts
Busy bee

I am so sorry this is happening to you, do you have no other bridesmaids, friends or mom that can take some of it on?

Post # 5
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - The Gables at Chadds Ford

However many people show- remember they are there for you!  It’s unfortunate that your MOH, who is supposed to be one of your biggest supporters, is acting this way.  Perhaps she will come around?  Maybe she is just someone who can’t handle stress.  I would try to smooth things over with her if possible and see what comes of it.  Otherwise, it might be a good idea to consider revoking her MOH title because she is not showing she deserves it right now.  Your MOH should certainly be in charge of discussing financial issues with the other bridesmaids.  If they respond better to you, maybe you could ask small favors of them instead of asking for money.  For example, maybe you could ask one to make cupcakes and ask another to pick up flowers?  

A co-ed shower sounds like fun! Maybe have your FI call people who didn’t RSVP yet so it doesn’t seem like you are throwing your own shower.  Games can be fun but are not a must if its driving you crazy.  You can always just have little sheets of paper for wedding and marriage advice- people usually write either really sweet things or really funny stuff!  Otherwise, what kind of games would you normally play with your friends?  It doesn’t have to be shower related.  Look up the game “Headbandz.”  It can be a many player game and you could make it yourself if you wanted to with wedding related words.  (You wear a card on your head and have to guess what it says lol)

As far as canceling your rental space- would it be less expensive in the long run to keep it or to do like elsewhere (someone’s house maybe?). 

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise- I am a control freak as far as wedding stuff goes- planning most of it yourself may mean it will turn out better!  Best of luck to you with this situation! 

Post # 6
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Why do you need games? We had a joint shower and there was eating and drinking and talking like any other party. idk, I’ve actually never been to a shower at which there were games.

Re: financial contributions – I think it’s REALLY TACKY to ask people to contribute financially to help this party. Really with showers, someone is supposed to volunteer to host. HOWEVER if you really feel you need help, can’t you just have it at someone’s house and have the food potlucked by close friends/family? That is the way the vast majority of showers I’ve been to have been. Not expensive at all, and whoever’s home it is at will be the official “host.”

Post # 7
Member
4442 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@KingsDaughter:  Just cancel and eat the $60, you will waste much more money than that in the rest of the wedding planning process.

Post # 8
Member
2613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@KingsDaughter:  I’m sorry you’re going through this but…I’m having a bit of a hard time getting past the idea that you’re throwing your own shower. 

You should not ask your BM’s to help financially.  If the party wasn’t their idea and isn’t being planned or hosted by them, they’re not obligated to finance it. 

If I were you I think I’d just bag it and lose the $60 or carry on and just have a very small, low key party. 

Post # 9
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Zhabeego:  +1

 

This.  It’s always nice if people offer to throw you a party, but throwing a party in your own honor is a little… gift grabby?  I’d just lose the $60 and move on.

Post # 10
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Just cancel it and lose out on the $60. I’d also re-think this friend as your MOH, if she backed out now, what else is she going to back out on?

Post # 12
Member
4442 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@KingsDaughter:  I’d still cancel….

Post # 13
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Wow she really f*cked you over didn’t she. However I would still cancel.

 

Post # 14
Member
3741 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Zhabeego:  

@stuckinwonderland:  

+1. If the other members of the bridal party didn’t offer to help, especially after your MOH contacted them, you can’t hit them up again for money for a party they had no say in planning.

Post # 15
Member
3584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would cancel and lose the $180.  You will spend MUCH more than that if you actually throw the shower. 

The topic ‘help..left to planning my own wedding shower’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors