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I think if you're both really close to your parents and are comfortable with each other's sets of parents then it would be cool to include them. A big part of marriage is blending of families so it makes sense to have them there. That being said, my husband and I did not have our families there when it happened for us. Which was fine. We both love our sets of parents but aren't super close with the other set so it would have been strange for us to have them there. Both sets of parents knew it was happening that day though, so they were included to an extent.
Emily - thanks for your response.
We're both close to our parents, and to the other's parents as well. Kind of ideal actually...and both sets of parents get along also.
@ltdave: Honestly I would ask her.... on the sly. I am close to mine but he knew I didn't want anyone else there. I wanted a moment for just me and him.
Captain - thanks for your feedback as well.
Obviously, I want to make this as special for her as I can.
I'd ask her, as previously suggested.
We get along with our sets of parents, and they get along with each other. But I wanted it to be just between us, and that's how he did it. :)
It depends on the kind of girl she is. I'm SUPER close with my family but displaying any sort of emotion around them (super happy, super bummed, kinda happy, kinda bummed) is really uncomfortable for me. I wouldn't have been able to enjoy my proposal if my mother was there. So just make sure she's not only close, but comfortable with heightened emotion around her parents. If she is, I think it's a great idea. I also really recommend having one of the parent photograph the moment, or someone else. You'll both want pictures one day. :)
Wow - never did I expect so many thoughtful responses. Thank you VERY much everyone!
Anyone comment on the idea of a proposal at the White House? We're DC residents, but it seems like something unique and memorable?
@ltdave: I think it'd be pretty cool to do it at the White House. It's pretty unique.
I agree with the PP that it is a very personal moment, so I'd just make it just between the two of you as much as you can. I love the Rose Garden idea, however if it's not a private tour maybe try to clue in the tour guide so you can pull her aside while you are in the garden and not proposing in front of a bunch of strangers.
As for the parents, I wouldn't invite them even though you all are super close. Maybe you can arrange a dinner that night to celebrate, and you can surprise her when you show up to the table and the parents are already there. Remember, your parents will obviously be there when you actually get married, so there will be more opportunities to share your joy with your parents...but I'd say keep the proposal just between you two.
Congrats, by the way :-)
I would not have minded my family being present for my proposal but I'm glad that we were Aline. All the emotions that I felt were exciting overwhelming and I'm glad I got to experience that without an audience.
What about arranging for your parents to be waiting after you propose? Have your friend bring them into the garden afterwards? Or meet them for a celebratory dinner?
Personally, I think it would a little suspicious to have both sets of parents join you on a tour of the Whitehouse. She might feel that something is up and it might be a little awkward for her, even if she is close to her family. What I would do, is go on the tour together, propose, and then surprise her with a fancy lunch or dinner where both sets of parents are waiting to meet you! That way you have the private, personal proposal but the ability to share the good news in person afterwards.
Yeah. I am close to my parents, but I wouldn't really want them there as it was happening. But maybe post-proposal, there they all are to celebrate!!
I think you can get an idea of what she wants by casually bringing it into conversation. Maybe a mutual friend has gotten engaged with others present. You could say, "Hm, I'm not sure, I guess it's cool if others are there when people propose." And see what she says. Do some sleuthing. ;)
As far as me, personally, I loved that it was just me and FI (well, and our 2 dogs) when he proposed. I do like @shirasagi:'s idea about proposing privately but then having your family be at the restaurant you go to after as a cute/sweet surprise for her. :)
Also, I think the Rose Garden setting is pretty cool. You can take pictures there right? (I'm clueless.)
I love my parents but I wanted my proposal to be just about us. Unless you know she'd want them to be there, maybe you could have them meet you at the end of the tour or at dinner that night after you're all newly engaged. My guy had my parents wait downstairs at our hotel so when it was over we could immediately share. The tour is a great idea. But as another poster mentioned, having both set of parents there could blow the secret.
perhaps have your parents along on the tour but make sure it is just the two of you in the Rose Garden for the actual proposal, and your parents can be there inside to celebrate with you guys straight away after it :) so it is private but you include your parents too :)
To all who replied, I sincerely thank you for all your thoughts and guidance. I actually covertly asked my future fiance if she wanted her folks to be there during the proposal - and she surprised me with her response: "no, I think it should be private". Tremendously surprised, since like I said, we're both very close with our families, but she explained many of the same points that everyone mentioned above. She felt it should be a private affair, shared with our families afterwards. I'm so happy that I asked, since I want this memory to be something she holds fondly in her mind.
So, the end result will be (thoughts & opinions welcome!):
We'll do the White House tour as scheduled, and do the actual proposal alone in the Rose Garden. Afterwards, i'm planning on booking a private room at a restaurant near Baltimore, and have our parents meet us there for dinner. I'll tell her that we're going out to dinner to celebrate, but the parent's attending will be a surprise. I'm thinking that this is the best of both worlds; having an amazing private experience and then later sharing with each other's families.
Thanks to everyone for your insight. If you have any thoughts about this plan - let me know. Believe me, i'm going to tell all my guy friends to do their research! Reading as I have on this forum, has taught me many a thing.
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Greetings to all - and thank you in advance for any responses that are left.
Two questions:
1. I live in Washington, DC, and have a friend who's able to get us into the White House for a tour; which would result in proposing to my girlfriend in the Rose Garden. Any thoughts?
2. We're both very close to our parents. I've thought about having both sets of parents joining us on the tour, and they'd be present during the proposal. Reading this website, some ladies have said that involving family is great, yet others commented that they would prefer a more private proposal. Thoughts?
Thanks everyone!