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Two months...

Help..not sure about putting parents on Invitation

posted 4 months ago in Etiquette
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    1.
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    Worker bee
    futuremrscollette    December 31, 2012  

    Hello Bees,

    I am in the process of finalizing our wording with the designer for our wedding invitations, and now I am second guessin what to do. We are paying for our wedding with the exception of my mother helping out paying for my dress, and possibly my father said he would give us a little towards it, but hasnt yet.   I was going to still incorporate them somehow. Both of our parents are divorced, so we thought about putting together with our parents on the invites, but is that enough? Or should we just put my parents names since they are the only ones contributing?

    Also, if we don't put their names who should do the welcome speech and thank everyone for coming? Let me know your thoughts!

     
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    Bee Keeper
    SapphireSun    July 9, 2010   Vancouver, BC

    I think based on information alone "together with their parents is sufficient", but if you've been around the bee long enough, you'll see that often parents have other ideas!  I would say if it doesn't bother you to list their names, ask them if they'd like to be listed.  If you don't want to.... 'tis easier to ask forgiveness than permission??

    As for welcome speech, we had a 3 way split for wedding costs with our parents and we still thanked everyone for coming ourselves and each of our fathers gave a toast.

     
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    Bumble bee
    mountain.bride    December 12, 2009   Australia

    We just said "together with their families" on our invitation. We had $ help from my parents and MIL, but FIL isn't really part of our lives so "families" seemed more appropriate than "parents".

    We had an MC for our reception (one of the groomsmen) who did the welcomes/thankyous/housekeeping etc. My parents gave speeches and we both did too (MIL was too nervous). I don't really equate speeches or toasts with financial contributions.

     
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    Newbee
    cattydoglover    May 26, 2012  

    Both our parents are separated too. I am not including their names in my invitation because it would bother me that it sounds like they are still married.  But i think "together with their parents" is the best option if you feel compelled to include them. 

     
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    Buzzing bee
    brenda.m.fields    March 3, 2012   Fort Lauderdale (wedding) & Gainesville (home)

    If you do decide to name them, you should list them one above the other without the word "and."  With the exceptions of children, the word "and" on an invitation or envelope means that the two people named are married.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    AmeliaBedelia    March 3, 2012   Georgia

    We avoided the same drama with "Together with their families." We plan on giving a "thanks for coming" speech at our own reception. Our parents are welcome to make toasts or whatever, but we will thank everyone.

    We are paying for some of our wedding. My Mom has contributed the most of our parents, then my dad, his parents haven't, but I didn't want to get into the "wedding politics" of it.

     
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    Helper bee
    Bubalou    May 27, 2012   Houston

    We paid for our own wedding, but put "together with their families" on the invite.  For me it was more the idea that everyone was supportive of the marriage (as opposed to involved in writing the checks) that the statement made that was important to me.

     
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    Bumble bee
    rebwana    July 13, 2012   Baltimore, MD

    Both sets of our parents are helping us out financially, so I'd like to recognize them. My parents are divorced, so it's going to be:

    Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith
    ...their daughter...
    ...son of...
    Mr. and Mrs. Tom Jones

    I think it also depends on your parent's wishes. Thankfully, mine are amicably divorced, so being on the same line on the invite/same row in the church (my Dad's remarried) won't be an issue. They're going to meet my FILs all together- but I checked with my Mom first, to make sure she was comfortable with everything.

     

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