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As soon as I read your post, I remembered a photo I once saw on a photographer's blog of a woman in a white dress with mehndi on her hands:
http://www.andrenaphoto.com/DWF2007/0_DWF_2007.jpg
I think it actually looks kind of cool. But it's really up to you-- it's your wedding and you've probably always imagined looking a certain way. I don't think your fiance's mom should be too offended if you say you only want it on your palms. That way, you'll still have the mehndi, but it won't be all the way up to your elbows, which might be overpowering with the white wedding dress (or cool depending on your perspective and how you want to look).
I think the henna would look wonderful! and it's a great way for you to combine cultures. But if you're really against it you should speak up sooner rather than later because it would be disappointing to your in-laws if you backed out after they had already planned a party (i think!) or maybe have your feet and palms done?
My photographer has a picture of a woman with mehndi and a white dress in her portfolio. Unfortunately, I can't give you a direct link, but here's how you find it:
Go to www.kuperbergweddings.com
Under the Portfolio tab, click on "Sara's Portfolio." The picture is about 2/3 the wya through the slideshow, so be patient! There are actually several pictures from the same wedding, but you can only see the mehndi in one picture.
Lotus- I'm Catholic and my fiance is Hindu also. We're having two ceremonies and they are also throwing me a mendhi. I told my FMIL that I only want to get it done on the inside of my palms. I don't think she took offense to it. It's a compromise. I think it will look beautiful and you can have it done to your taste.
Hey,
Don't worry about it. I am a professional henna artist myself.
There are number of things I do for such tight spots.
Do designs which will go with ur dress and hair. Designs can done to go well with white flowing dresses and believe me I have drawn designs to match the brides dress and party theme.
Another option is to use henna such that it will not stain much and the stain will wear off faster.
Feel free to mail me any qs.
Enjoy your experience.
-- priti :)
I'm actually starting to freak out more after seeing that pic that you posted, Jasmine. I mean, (and I hope no one takes offense to this!)I personally just think henna with a white wedding dress looks bad. =( I'm sure some might see the beauty in it, but I think it doesn't look right. So I've basically screwed myself over because I've already agreed to the mehndi, and all the invitations have gone out already, so it's not like I could cancel or would even think about cancelling. The only thing I can do is ask if I can just get it on my palms and feet, but I KNOW that my FMIL will get offended, as my fiance's cousin said that she would. Not good. =( SandP09: You're lucky that your FMIL did not get offended. I actually remember when my FMIL asked me if I wanted to have a mehndi many months ago, and I agreed (without thinking it through), and my FFIL said I could just get it on my palms if I wanted to, but my FMIL didn't say anything to that. (thinking back, i think she definitely wasn't a fan of that idea, and probably wanted to shut her hubby up)
Priti, thanks for your suggestions. I may just message you to see if you can offer me some hope in this hopeless situation.
It's unfortunate that this henna situation has to cause such stress and heartache for me. I know it may not seem like such a big deal to some, but it is to me.
Why don't you wear gloves with the dress at least for the photos and ceremony? I personally love gloves and am using that to cover up the henna.
lotus524, I'm having henna and will wear a white dress. I will have a more arabic style of henna (less intricate and full) partially b/c I don't want the very elaborate Indian henna. (See photo, this is when the henna is still drying so it looks black before you scrape it off to reveal the color underneath.) But it's really up to you. I went back and forth about it before deciding, and my mom was supportive either way. I don't think you should worry about offending your FMIL if you decide on only your palms and feet. And the fact that your FFIL is already on board with that should help. It might be best to have your FI discuss it with her (or maybe his FFIL first). But this is your wedding too, and the last thing you want is to not feel good about how you look. In theory, for an Indian henna ceremony even just touching your hand with mehndi should be enough satisfy the tradition. The rest is just the pomp that's come to surround Indian weddings. And I suspect eventually your FMIL will come around to seeing it that way.
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Hi all,
I'm having a multi-cultural wedding (I'm Chinese & Catholic, and my fiance is Indian and Hindu). His mom and sis are throwing me a mehndi (henna party), but now I am having reservations about getting the henna done on my hands, because I fear how it will look with my white wedding dress.
Has anybody here also had henna done and then had to wear a white wedding dress? Or have you been to a multicultural wedding where you've seen henna on a bride wearing a white dress? Do you think it looks bad?
I don't want to offend my fiance's mom by saying I only want to get it done on my palms, because I think that would be a slap on her face. Help!