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posted 8 months ago in Relationships
  • poll: Which would bother you more?
    Sleeping with an Ex : (34 votes)
    56 %
    Sleeping with a random : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Neither would bother me : (3 votes)
    5 %
    Both would bother me the same : (22 votes)
    36 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    733 posts
    Busy bee
    pec1216       Alabama

    Tangent from another post:

    Say you were talking to someone but weren't officially dating, took a break from each other and during that time they slept with someone else, would you have a bigger problem with them sleeping with an ex or a random?

     
    2.
    Member
    2,441 posts
    Buzzing bee
    jjmomma    March 11, 2011  

    I think an ex would be a little more iffy, b/c I'd wonder about lingering feelings... if we're not officially dating, I'd guess you're free to explore your options.  But, in the end, if we were already talking and you went for someone else, I'd just assume you're not that into me and move on.

     
    3.
    Member
    8,926 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    Mrs.KMM    July 17, 2010   Atlanta, GA (wedding in Indianapolis, IN)

    Neither would bother me.  If we aren't together currently (and it sounds like never officially have been), what say should I have in who he sleeps with?

     
    4.
    Member
    5,404 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Running Elley    June 19, 2011   Fresno, CA

    They would definitely both bother me but sleeping with an ex would bother me more because of that past attachment/feelings. I'd be worried that those feelings were still there and that he wouldn't be able to move on.

     

     
    5.
    Member
    5,836 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Eva Peron    November 2011  

    It depends probably on someone's personal experience.

    I chose " both would bother me the same "

    Time is also a huge factor, are we talking a week long break and he/she is already at it or like 6 months a year?

     
    6.
    Member
    1,183 posts
    Bumble bee
    Pomapoo    May 6, 2011   Maryland

    If we weren't officially dating, I'd probably be more troubled by him sleeping with a random.  What does that say about his character when he sleeps with random chicks?

     
    7.
    Member
    733 posts
    Busy bee
    pec1216       Alabama

    @Mrs.KMM: Oh I'm not saying I would care like it would hurt my feelings or anything but like Running Elley: said I would be more bothered by the ex simply because of the feelings that would go along with it. But hey some people may be able to have sex with an ex and not have feelings. I've never come across it but it could happen.

     
    8.
    Member Icon
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    Sunflower--girl    October 20, 2012  

    Why should I be mad if I was just talking to someone?  Was I sleeping with them too?

     
    9.
    Member
    2,174 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Heatherloveskenny    June 4, 2011  

    Both those options have their down sides.

    The ex: history is there and feelings that could be ignited again. On the other hand, they are an ex for a reason so there has to be something wrong with that relationship.

    The random: could be a new love interest, which would be bad because that new, oh my gosh, this person is amazing feeling, triumps any other fling you've had going on before. And it's hard to see the negatives when that feeling is present.

    But, the random could just be a meaningless one night stand. And that's not a big deal as long as these two people were never offically together.

    To answer the question, I said ex.

     
    10.
    Member
    8,165 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    HappilyEverAfter54    June 23, 2012   Central Pennsylvania

    Both would bother me and I would move on.

     
    11.
    Member
    10 posts
    Newbee
    DivinelyDiscreet    December 31, 2016  

    I've been in this exact situation before. I was seeing a guy pretty frequently, we had hooked up many times, then we got into a huge fight, didn't talk for about a month and during this time I slept with someone else. A "random" as you called it. It meant nothing. Didn't talk to him or see him ever again afterwards. During this month, the guy I had been talking to also slept with someone else except his was his ex-gf of 3 years (they had just broken up about 5 months earlier) and she was still in love with him. I felt so bad for the girl because she still had feelings for him and he just drug her along.

     
    12.
    Member
    2,998 posts
    Sugar bee
    missmouse29    July 2011   NWOntario, Canada

    both would bother me, i am a jealous beast.

     
    13.
    Member
    3,852 posts
    Honey bee
    kala_way    May 28, 2011   Manhattan Beach, CA

    Hard question. If we weren't actually dating I would assume after hearing they slept with anyone that they weren't really interested in me.

    In general I'm more disturbed by people who just sleep with random strangers though, so....yea, I'm probably not the kind of person this question is aimed at.

     

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