Post # 1
So last night after work I stopped by the store to pick up a couple items. I pulled into the parking spot, and this guy walked in front of my car. He had his back to me, and I saw that his pants were really low (like mid-thigh) and he wasn’t wearing underwear. Yeah… He was wearing a long coat, but I know if someone was standing in front of him, instead of seeing him from the back, they would’ve seen everything.
I waited until he walked away from my car, and then I went into the store and ntoified the first store manager I could find. He said he’d take care of it. I got the few things on my list, checked out, and walked out of the store, and the “exposed” guy was standing right in front of the doors! I thought the manager probably hadn’t done anything, so I told the guy that his pants were really low and I could see his bottom. The guy stared at me, then pulled up his pants and walked away.
When I got home and told my husband the story, he totally freaked out! He even called the police! I thought he was overreacting a bit, but I know it was just because he was concerned for me. Anyway, I felt bad for the “exposed” guy because he looked really dirty and kinda vacant, like he might be homeless or on drugs or something. I didn’t want him to get in trouble with the police; I just didn’t want anyone else to have to see… what I saw.
So, bees, what would you do in this situation? Do you think I was acting “dangerously and recklessly” (as my husband put it)? Or would you have approached the guy, like I did? I thought I was just being kind by telling the guy what was wrong instead of calling the police, but my husband is convinced that I am going to be abducted or murdered because I’m too naive. 🙂 I think he worries too much.
Post # 3
I probably would have driven away.
Post # 4
I think that talking directly to him probably was not the best idea… but it kind of depends on where this was/how many other people were around. If it was dark and there were not a lot of other people around I’d be concerned that he had some kind of mental illness and drawing any attention to yourself might not be super safe.
I definitely do not think calling the police was necessary though. I think that the store manager had the duty to take care of it. He could either go talk to the man or if he thought that he was scaring customers he could call the poiice.
Post # 5
Ahhh, heather, I didn’t even think of that as an option. 🙂 I’ll add it to my poll.
Post # 6
Well, I voted call the police non-emergency number so they are aware, and also let a store manager know. As far as being too nice – when weird things happen like that… I tend to agree with your husband about ‘being too nice.’ I’ve heard it said that people tend to take advantage of women of are ‘too nice.’ Those girls who get into elevators with people that give them the heebie jeebies – just don’t do it. If somebody or something makes you uncomfortable, walk away and say something. Just, be careful. Oh, and get some mace/pepper spray and know how to use it. 🙂
Post # 7
I wouldn’t have spoken to the guy either… I know you were just being kind, but if he was on something he could have snapped at you out of embarrassment! You never know.
I would have called the non-emergency police line. The police should deal with situations like this…
And your husband is only overreacting because he loves you so much 🙂
Post # 8
I think you did the right thing. They guy was right in front of you and it wasn’t like you couldn’t have gone back into the store if he was really a threat. I probably would have called the police, just so they would have been able to get him care that he needed (I agree with you that he may have been mentally disturbed or on drugs).
Post # 9
It’s good that you told the store manager and that your fiance called the police. While the man might not have been currently dangerous, exposing themselves in public is often the first criminal act of people who eventually become rapists. Of course, not all flashers are future rapists, but it certainly pays to be cautious. I would be careful when alone in the area around the store for the near future, if nothing else I would want to avoid seeing half-naked crazy parking lot people!
Post # 10
Um i never talk to “strange” people because it draws attention to you. I’m with your husband on this one–you can never be too paranoid.
Remember–you’re in CAlifornia now. There are a lot more wackos out there. When I lived in Cali we had alarm systems on our homes and everything. And out here in the midwest people are comfortable leaving their doors locked and that’s it.
You really do have to be more careful out there. I would have turned around, walked back in the store, told the manager, and requested an escort to my car and then i would have left IMMEDIATELY.
Post # 11
Yeh, but definitely glad that all went well. BEE Careful (I know lame, I couldn’t help myself).
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2010 - Victorian Gardens of Two Sisters
Where in California are you from, Mrs. Spring?
When I lived in Los Angeles I’d drive my boyfriend (now ex) to work every once in a while just outside of Little Tokyo, where homeless people lined the sidewalks. On multiple occasions I saw people completely naked, I saw one man crossing the street with just a t-shirt on. At the time I didn’t do anything, but now that I think about it I probably should have called the police to let them know.
Standing in a store parking lot is a little different, though. Especially if it’s a small town. In LA I really didn’t think twice about it…
Post # 13
Was this in San Francisco? I saw a guy exposing his bottom half as I was walking around on my lunchbreak – he was homeless and looked like he may be on drugs, I just ignored him as he walked past me. It’s really sad that there are lots of homeless folks in the city that you get used to seeing 🙁
Post # 14
@ejs: In parts of Canada, in the suburbs, most people leave their front doors unlocked all day long. My mom never locks her front door & I’m pretty sure none of her 20 closest neighbours do either.
Post # 15
I live in Tahoe. Does that make a difference? It’s a really small town, and while we do have a pretty consistent homeless population, this guy didn’t really frighten me. Maybe it’s my small-town mentality? I would NEVER approach someone in a big city, but I felt pretty comfortable with approaching the guy last night. 🙂 My husband will be happy to hear that most of the bees agree with him.
Post # 16
holy smokes, recessionista, you mean people could just walk right in? Yikes! Once, we had two drunk guys just walk right into our sorority house and I went and grabbed my baseball bat and at 2am told them they needed to leave or i’d call the cops, while i held it in my phone. i was scared out of my minds!
I’m just very very paranoid in general. I never want to look back and say, “well it didn’t seem unsafe at the time”
Bad things can happen in small towns, too. All it takes is somebody passing through, or a drug addict who could snap or anything.
I live all alone. 23 year old girl, two cats, and a house. I think the only way I sleep soundly at night is knowing I installed a very safe home security system. If you break in, the alarm goes nutso and the cops are here within 2 minutes because I pay an EXTRA fee each month to be tied to the police station. Some people here say I’m paranoid, but all my friends and family back home in the OC and las vegas think this is pretty normal behavior.
I mean, ya’all remember Ted Bundy, right? Well educated, good looking, seemed totally normal and “safe”…yeah. People freak me out!