Herpes. Help!!

posted 3 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
2062 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@His_missus:  Absolutely. If your partner is sleeping with someone else.

As a side note, someone clse to me was told at age 11 that she had herpes. They put her on treatment. She was devasted and insisted she had never been molested. Turns out, she had shingles in a very unfortunate area.




Post # 4
3197 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@aliavenue:  Ouch!  That’s like the worst place ever to get shingles.  I didn’t even know that was possible.  Poor girl…


@His_missus:  Like the previous poster said, your friend’s dude cheated on her or she cheated on him and is lying about it.  Either way someone is sleeping around on someone’s back.

Post # 5
602 posts
Busy bee

Oral herpes can be passed through shared drinks, but I don’t know about other kinds.

I just looked it up and apparently it is possible that it can spread from just skin to skin contact! Yikes…

Post # 6
15011 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You can have herpes for years without showing symptoms, sometimes ever. Either one of them could have picked it up from past partners and transmitted it without knowing. 

Post # 7
229 posts
Helper bee

Yeah, I got herpes from my mom, who got it from massaging a client when I was a kid. Luckily my rash is on my arm and nt genital area, but it definitely CAN be contracted in other ways. But it will show up in the area that had contact with another person, so if your friend haa symptoms in the genital area, it might be time to question her bf’s actions…

Post # 8
1 posts
  • Wedding: June 1996

@His_missus:  Hi. Regular Bee going anonymous for obvious reasons. I contracted herpes from either a toilet seat or a hot tub while on vacation with my family. It’s incredibly frustrating not knowing exactly where it came from, but I know for a fact that I didn’t sleep with anyone (or have any form of sexual contact in any way) while I was on vacation with my family. I can understand your friend’s frustration, but it may not have come from her SO. 

Post # 9
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Herpes is VERY easily spread! I got the rash on my belly when I was a teen for sharing a jacket with someone (that, of course, I had no idea had herpes). SO cheating is a very much possible option, I hope it is not the cause, though.

Post # 11
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To @His_missus:  I am sorry to hear about your friend…

BUT I am sadder to see how much misinformation is in these replies

(I am BIG on sexual health, and people getting / knowing the right stuff)

As per the Mayo Clinic = http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/genital-herpes/AN01099

Can you get genital herpes from a toilet seat?

Answer – from James M. Steckelberg, M.D.

It’s very unlikely that you would get genital herpes from a toilet seat. Genital herpes is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) spread by skin-to-skin contact. In most cases, the virus enters your body through mucous membranes — the type of skin found in your mouth, genitals or anus. The virus can also enter your body through skin that has tiny scrapes or tears.

People can have genital herpes for years without knowing it. The virus can be spread even if an infected person has no genital sores. Because the virus dies quickly outside of the body, it’s nearly impossible to get the infection through contact with toilets, towels or other objects used by an infected person.

So ya…

I’d say chances are SLIM to NONE…

No matter what anyone else here has stated.

SOMEONE in that relationship got it from SOMEONE else by skin to skin contact… sexual intercourse or otherwise

(And, it will settle into the genital area… which means SOMEONE was had contact with someone else’s genitalia… be that by hand (cut), mouth (cancer), or regualar old one-on-one sex)

The only other way, is if one of these two were born with it… possible… it was a big deal back in the 1980s… babies picking it up in the birth canal… BUT then I would imagine that that person has been “hiding” their health history from the other person, as they would have had a break out at some point in time

Infact, I’d say that one of these two is hiding something no matter what !!


Post # 12
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

Herpes can be from previous partners from either the man or the woman. It doesn’t necessarily mean a partner is cheating if they had previous relationships. The virus can be dormant for a long time, then surface when the immune system is compromised or under a lot of stress.

Get checked out by a doctor. They will be able to tell you if its herpes or not. Could turn out to be something else. Like, an ingrown hair, etc.


Post # 13
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

Oh, also, if you have a coldsore on your lip or around your mouth, and perform oral sex, that is another way to transfer it.


Post # 15
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014


Not necessarily! Please don’t be too quick to jump to conclusions! First of all, there are two herpes types resulting in outbreaks in the genital area: herpes type 1 (HSV-1, or oral herpes) and herpes type 2 (HSV-2, or genital herpes). HSV-1 is easily passed on, as PP mentioned by sharing the same cup or kissing someone on the lips.

A lot of people carry the virus but don’t suffer from (visible) outbreaks.  They might even have contracted it in their childhood before experiencing the first outbreak in their adulthood. HSV-2 on the other hand is mostly contracted through sexual intercourse. Keep in mind that condoms DO NOT fully protect against contraction of herpes!

To make my point: It is entirely possible that your friend’s boyfriend has oral herpes, didn’t know about it (there are “silent outbreaks” where the virus is shredding but there are no visible blisters) and then performed oral sex on your friend.

Hence he might have infected her totally unknowingly and she didn’t get the virus because either of them was being unfaithful. By the way, doctors can determine which strand of herpes your friend has; she might want to find out. Knowing whether she has HSV-1 or HSV-2 is also making treatment easier…  

Post # 16
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@iloverocks:  +1

I just saw your post and totally agree!

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