(Closed) Herpes- I has them, and I didn't know it.

posted 5 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@Anonbee1231:  Umm… question. You said that both you and your Fi had been tested for STI’s before you began sleeping together. ” We had both been tested regularly, and prior to our relationship.” .

Wouldn’t they have come up on his screens?  I don’t know, so that’s why I am asking

Post # 4
9075 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

If your fiance was screened properly, herpes would show up. There are lots of differen types of herpes, you can get mouth herpes (Cold sores) on your nethers, but I would assume that the test would come back positive for it either way. As you found out, it isn’t hard to test for them.

Has he never had an outbreak? If he has, why didn’t he tell you?

Post # 5
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hmmmm…. Can’t share your optimism. To me, it would have been absolutely a huge deal. I mean come on… Herpes???? Seriously? If my partner said he was tested regularly and then I get freaking herpes?! I would have absolutely freaked out! 

Post # 6
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Umm… if my Fiance knew he had herpes and didn’t tell me before I started sleeping with him, that would be a VERY big deal.  Even more so if you were both screened and came back clean before you started sleeping together and something changed since??

Post # 7
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@SnoopDog:  +1000

No way this wouldn’t be a HUGE deal. ESP if my SO had specifically been tested for these things before we started sleeping together and then just happened to have it and give it to me when we were supposed to be monogamous.

Post # 8
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That sucks!  So is he very unphased because he already knew he had them?  I hope not!

Post # 9
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

uhh either someone lied about having herpes or lied about being tested…

Post # 11
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@imalittlebirdie:  Yeah, this is what I thought too…if you were both tested at the beginning of the relationship and nothing showed up, and now you both have herpes…well, it came from somewhere. Obviously you got it from him if you haven’t been with anyone else since you were last tested, so the question is then where did he get it from?


I know herpes is pretty common, so maybe I’m missing something here with how it’s spread, but I’d be asking a lot more questions here, OP.



ETA: Just saw your reply – I never realized that a standard STD test wouldn’t show herpes, guess I learned something new today. Sorry to sound so negative OP, I was just immediately suspicious because a friend went through something like this with a different STD, and her guy was cheating, but it was something that would show up on a regular STD test.

Post # 12
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

[content moderated for snark, name-calling]

Post # 14
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@masterteee2013:  ?? I don’t see any reason to be doubting the authenticity of the post, it’s not that crazy of a story and I can understand someone not wanting to discuss finding out they have herpes on their main account.

Post # 15
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

The only way to test positive for herpes is if you’re tested while experiencing and active outbreak – that’s includes blood tests. It’s entirely possible for a carrier to go for years  without  the infection being detected as something like 60% of infected people never even experience an outbreak beyond the initial infection – and then even some dont ever experience any symptoms at all. Also, women tend to have more frequent prominent outbreaks than men due to moist environments so it’s is very likely that a male carrier would be unaware of his infection.




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