Post # 1
I have been with my partner for 6 years now. We split up over commitment reasons last June and got back together in November as he finally promised me everything from a relationship I wanted! the final straw to my decision to try again was when he said he wanted to marry me now and understood I just wanted to make our relationship a cement and celebrate our love for each other. And that now he wanted the same thing! So he went ahead and booked our wedding for this coming October! I was so excited and he seemed to be too! Until after Xmas when I started talking about going wedding dress shopping exec and it seem he was putting me off! I hadn’t told anyone about this wedding either and was itching to tell the children and work friends family etc! We were getting married in gretnadjust the two of us so he felt no one really needed to know! I started to feel really insecure about his lack of interest so I started to question him! It’s taken roughly 6 weeks ow for him to finally come clean that he doesn’t really ever want to get married! I’m totalily gutted! He says he wants us to stay together but just can’t offer me marriage! I don’t know what to do I love this guy sooo much but marriage is important to me! I don’t know if I can look at him the same now he’s booked our wedding day but then took it off me a few weeks later!! I feel so resentful! D I stay with this guy and forfeit what I want out of a relationship or do I respect his wishes and make it work without marriage??? Help!!!!
Post # 3
@hayley1978: he’s stringing you along. if marriage means that much to you and he can’t give you one, then you should know your answer. If you are willing to stay without marriage, that’s your choice too.
question is, are you going to regret it.
Post # 4
@hayley1978: You definitely don’t stay with a man who has lied to you about wanting to get married.
Post # 5
Sorry you’re going through this.
if he doesn’t want to get married, he’s not going to. If he sees that marriage is extremely important to you, and won’t do it for you even if it’s not important to him well… sorry to say, but that would spell it out pretty clearly for me.
If you’re not getting what you want out of a relationship, move on.
Post # 6
My instinct is telling me I’ve been strung along and he only suggested this just to win me bak! he’s 49 so I’m guessing he should know what he wants from life! He’s saying he loves me so much and doesn’t want us to split up but I feel totally heartbroken by This! And not sure I can Forgive him or teasing me with marriage! And that’s how I feel teased! He said its really hurt him having to tell me but I don’t think he will ever understand how much he’s hurt me! I feel so humiliated! And if he loves me like he says he oes then why am I not marriage material!!
Post # 7
I would leave him. He lied to you so that you would take him back. And, he strung you along and let you believe that he wanted a marriage. You’re fortunate enough to learn of this early on; I would hate to see him stand you up during your wedding.
Post # 8
@hayley1978: He’s 49.. how old are you? Has he said why he doesn’t want to get married? Have you told him why it’s important to you?
Post # 9
I’m 35 he said he just doesn’t believe in marriage ! But then on another hand he says one day we may get married! He sounds like he’s just saying anything to keep me onside! How could e book our wedding then cancel it! When he knows how much ive wanted to marry him! He brought me the engagement ring 5 years ago! We have had a rocky relationship but I thought we were happy and on trAck! For 3 days now I’ve cried and told him I’m shocked he could do this to me I’m truly devastated
Post # 10
Not wanting to get married is one thing. You can decide whether or not you’re okay with being in a long term relationship without marriage, and either accept it or move on.
But actually booking a wedding and not letting you tell anyone about it and then taking it back? That’s beyond the pale. I wouldn’t want to stay with someone who could do something like that.
Post # 12
Sounds like he is not opposing marriage but he is oposing marriage currently to you. All was nice and quiet till it go real and then he broke it off.
I would leave.
My ex told me the same thing. That he wasn’t ready yet and did see us getting married in the future just not now. We were together for 7.5 years. I broke it off… Later it turned out that he was cheating on me and hence wasn’t ready. Now surprise he is engaged to a girl that he was cheating on me with …. apparently she made him propose, threatening to leave… i guess he bacame ready quick LOL
Post # 13
I wouldn’t say he’s stringing you along. Obviously, he wants to make you happy.
But obviously, not getting married is something he feels strongly about.
You want to get married, he doesn’t.
I’d thank him for all the years of love and happiness and find someone who has marriage as a priority.
Post # 14
Only you can decide if it’s worth walking away from an otherwise happy relationship over his desire to not marry. No one here can answer that. Some couples can be happily committed and live together for decades without marriage (ask almost any long-term gay couple in America about that— is their love or commitment any less real because they don’t have the option to marry?). Some can’t. Sit down and decide for yourself if the benefits of staying with this man without being married outweigh the negatives.
On one hand, you may forever remain bitter and disappointed if you stay with him and he never decides he wants to marry; on the other hand, you may walk away and always wish you hadn’t. Only you can decide which is the greater risk, or which is the better chance to take.
Post # 15
@hayley1978: Did he actually give you the engagement ring five years ago or has he been holding it over your head this whole time? If has never given you the ring it sounds like he has been stringing you along by telling you what you want to hear.
Post # 16
@hayley1978: Find someone who treats you better. It shouldn’t be too difficult.