Post # 1
This may be more of a rant than a search for advice so please bear with me. So it’s been a LONG while since I’ve been on here, and everything’s been pretty steady with BF considering we’ve been going long distance. But now I’m at my own crossroad and I don’t know if I should be feeling this way.
Every week this year a new engagement or marriage pops up on our FB. just last week another close friend of his from college revealed he proposed to his GF in Puerto Rico. My BF is visiting this weekend because we have a wedding to attend. We were driving around talking to his newly engaged friend on the speaker and we happened to end up at a jewelry store, where BF had ordered some stones to be brought in so we could take a look at them.
Now, I’m probably going to get a lot of flack for this, but I was pissed. I know that he is “finally” starting to move forward because whenever we call his friends to tell them congrats, they respond with “Thanks! So what about you, you guys have been dating twice as long as us hahahahaha”. Is it wrong that now I don’t want a proposal from him? This resentment is coming from the fact that he’s just trying to keep up with his friends. It took a lot of courage from me to walk into that store today with a smile on my face when deep down I wanted to cry. He was doing this for himself, not for us. I’m now picturing him down on one knee and myself giving him a hesitant answer because I’m going to be questioning whether or not he’s doing it because he loves me or so that he can keep up with his friends.
Post # 3
Aww! You poor thing!
I think it’s natural, though… DH was nearly the last of his friends to get married, and I think that was a pretty big motivator for him!
Post # 4
@NinjaWings: Is there anything else that makes you think he’s only doing this because of his friends?
I don’t think he’d be ordering stones, going to look at them with you, and deciding to propose that concretely if it was really just about keeping up with his friends. I honestly think that no one but the crappiest guy is going to do that sort of thing without truly wanting marriage.
It sounds like you might be letting the waiting get the better of you. I have been there, and it sucks– it makes your whole relationship seem bad. Try not to let the whole friends getting engaged thing bother you– if you need to, have a rant with your friends or even your SO about how you are annoyed that everyone else is getting engaged! It is very annoying, and I’m sure your SO knows that it bothers you already.
Please don’t let this jealousy take the fun out of planning your ring and getting engaged! It sounds like it is coming for you soon.
Post # 5
@NinjaWings: Try to not be resentful of this
It’s unfortunate, but I know that if none of my SO’s brother’s were getting married and he didn’t have friends getting married either, I’m pretty sure he would NEVER be motivated to propose…and there’s still no telling when that will be lol. He will only do it when he WANTS to and not because he thinks he HAS to, most men are practical and would rather never marry than divorce. And it sounds like he wants to marry you. Try to stay positive!