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Are you writing your own vows?

He's just not that into you....

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
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    1.
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    554 posts
    Busy bee
    lolaj       Queens, NY

    Ok, so I know this movie is old but me and the BF just watched last night.

    What do you bees think about the whole "rules" thing?

    We paid extra attention to "..if's he not marrying you...." LOL

     

     
    2.
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    Blushing bee
    Maestro    10/10/10   Baltimore

    I still haven't seen this movie (which I feel is criminal since it filmed in my hometown), but I read the book and followed the book's hubbub when it first came out and couldn't relate at all. I hope it doesn't mean I'm in denial. Tongue out

     
    3.
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    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    OMG i hated this movie so hardcore. Let me count the ways... briefly. heh. Okay so as the movie is going along I'm kind of feeling it ya know? Because a lot of it is good advice. In general... if you are with a guy for 8 years and you are both of appropriate age and out of school and financially stable and he has not asked you to marry him... he's not going to. If a guy is being a jerk... he probably IS a jerk. etc etc. So I'm with it. 

    I cheered when JenAn left her guy. 

    I cheered with the other chick made a date with the nice friend. 

    Then came the ending. 

     

     

    **spoiler alert****

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    WHAT THE HELL. So JenAn goes back to him sans commitment and THEN he proposes? When does that happen? And the jerk guy who ignored the other girl suddenly realizes what he's been missing? Honestly??? I felt like the whole point of the movie was totally undone in the last 20 minutes and I was actually yelling at the screen. 

    I did like that the one guy's wife left him.... but she should have done it when she found out he had cheated. Not when she found out he was still smoking. 

    Blech. crap movie!

     
    4.
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    Sugar bee
    Laylabelle    November 7, 2009  

    Yeah, I didn't like the movie either. It kinda made women look like whimpering fools while the men did whatever they wanted.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    I found the movie to be amusing enough, I didn't regret watching it but it's not one I'd watch again. It is totally inconsistant in and of itself, sometimes, and that annoyed me.

    Honestly, though, I think most girls KNOW when a guy is just not that into her and ignore it, hoping he'll *learn* to love her over time. Who wants to settle for THAT?

     
    6.
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    Blushing bee
    lovefoolme    10/4/09   Boston

    The book changed my life. It all made perfect sense! My gf's and I had been trying for years to convice ourselves of any number of bizarre reasons for being dumped/stood up/not committed too. And then I read this book and I took a whole new approach to dating. Long story short, I got married to my dream guy last month. I believe in the power of the book!

     

    As an aside, I didn't see the movie, nor can I fathom how they turned a very good self-help book into a fictional movie.

     
    7.
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    Busy bee
    lolaj       Queens, NY

    Corgitales- I' am so with you.

    i was yelling at my BF saying I hate that this movie makes girls look like they are helpless. Why should we stand around and have to wait for the guy to say ok, I am ready to marry you now or okay I want to go on a date with you now or wait for me to call you.

    Some guys are such JERKS!!!!!

    I loved the part when the women left her husband but why did she stay when he told her he cheated!!

    Some women are jerks too! LOL

     
    8.
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    Bee Keeper
    lilyfaith    June 23, 2012   Lakeview, Chicago

    R and I watched this together and laughed. 

    And shook our heads, and laughed some more. 

     
    9.
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    Blushing bee
    NotQuiteK      

    Ugh, the movie was so disappointing.  The book is great, though!  The message is empowering--- like, get a life of your own and don't worry about guys too much, since there isn't much you can do about them.

     
    10.
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    Bumble bee
    Miss Root    07/04/10   Seattle

    My favorite part of that whole movie is the first 5 minutes, when the mom is warping her little girl's mind for life by telling her that the little boy in the sandbox who told her she smells like dog poo only did so because "he likes you".  Such a load of crap, but we all were told that as little girls and I am convinced that it damaged my ability to not be able to tell which ones were the jerks until I was in my mid-20s ;)

    I think that movie is great for single girls who give too many chances to guys who don't treat them right.  If anything, it's just kind of a reality check.  As in, stop letting guys treat you like crap! 

    And I, too, was 100% annoyed with Jennifer Aniston for taking back the guy.  But then, I am 100% annoyed with most of Jennifer Aniston's acting, so that wasn't surprising :)

     
    11.
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    Helper bee
    Raindrops    10-10-10   San Jose, CA

    I didn't really love the movie.  yeah some of the story lines were weird.  I think they were trying to give you the same feelings as the books give which didn't come out that well.

    but I liked the book a lot.  Of course you have to take it with a grain of salt but some of that stuff was good info... especially if you have low self-esteem it really picks you up and makes you realize you deserve better.

    I think it changed my life for the good, after reading the book, I didn't hang on to guys that were bad for me and I became more picky and upped my standards, everyone should do the same.  ^_^

     
    12.
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    Honey bee
    yrret107    November 28, 2009   Seattle, WA; Married in West Chester, PA

    yeah the book is so much better than the movie.

     
    13.
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    Bee Keeper
    RecessionistaBride    January 28, 2012  

    I found it pretty ho-hum! I watched it on a plane once... lol. I wouldn't have rented it or bought it for myself :)

    I think the "rules" are kind of common sense. Men don't like to be chased, they don't like to be pressured.. if you've been together after 3 or 4 years & he doesn't know if he wants to marry you-- then he'll never know. It's a lame movie w/ a lot of hype.

    If you want to read some really crazy advice, the original "He's just not that into you" read "The Rules" from the 90's. It's a "time tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr. Right" It was ALL the rage back then...

    Ahahahaha. I didn't follow any rules and I lucked out w/ my FI :)

     
    14.
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    Buzzing bee
    pmerr    August 14, 2010   Rochester, NY

    haha we saw that on V-day-the day we got engaged-although we knew it was going to happen-us get engaged that is.

     

     
    15.
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    Bee Keeper
    eloping    May 23, 2010  

    havent seen the movie and havent read the book but im the horrible person at gatherings asking couples that have been together for 3+yrs why are they waiting and if the guy responds he doesnt know how he feels about her yet then i tell him to cut her loose as hes wastinig her time... i started a thread ages ago about how i kinda broke up 2 couples but questioning them because i dont understand why some women are prepared to waste years of their lives with guys that aren prepared to step up

    i did see an oprah interview and didnt warm much to the guy who wrote the book much but at least he was saying it as some women really need to hear it

     

     
    16.
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    Bee Keeper
    RecessionistaBride    January 28, 2012  

    @eloping: I remember that thread about you breaking up those couples... not on purpose, but just through your honesty! lol

    It's true... I say, if your man doesn't know by year 3- he'll never know! He'll never ask & you're wasting your time. I told my FI after our first date that my cut-off is our 3rd anniversary. lol I got my ring less than a month before :) so he really waited until the 11th hour.

     
    17.
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    Bumble bee
    EAQ219    May 22, 2010   Bethesda, MD

    I read the book and think it should be required reading for all women. The movie? Eh, take it or leave it. It didn't give me a strong reaction either way. I just mentioned in another thread how I seem to be the go-to friend who solves my friend's problems. This book definitely gave me some great advice to give them. I've told sooo many of my girlfriends "Hun, he's just not that into you." And it's usually true. The book is pure common sense. If he has your number and he likes you, he'll call. If he's blowing you off repeatedly, he's trying to get rid of you. Common sense! I don't think it's that guys are jerks, necessarily (although many are). I think it's that some girls are just so SILLY when it comes to relationships. Women get so wrapped up in the fantasy and romance of things that they lose their freaking minds! I'm just so glad I don't have to go through that anymore. No more games for this gal!

     

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