Weddingbee boards

It's been a crazy couple of weeks, and I'm wondering if my SO has something up his sleeve -- and am trying to talk myself out of getting my hopes up (and need help doing that! :P)

Over the past two weeks, SO and I have had 2 seriously in-depth conversations about engagement and marriage, which is highly unusual for us -- I've been following the Mr. Bee plan and keeping myself from bringing it up or talking about it unless he starts it. So, two weeks ago, he said he had some questions for me -- wanted me to remind him about my ring size, asked me if I'd like a solitaire or three-stone ring, and told me that he'd gone to the hometown jewelry store today and talked at length with the salesman. I was about to jump out of my skin, but he did tell me that it would be a long time before he could afford it (and said he just wanted me to know that he's thinking about it and has it on his mind :D).

This Saturday, I made e-chicken for his birthday dinner, knowing that he loves chicken and getting a kick out of the idea, thinking it couldn't hurt :P

The next night, we ended up talking about wedding stuff in bed -- where we'd like to get married, who we'd like to officiate, who he'd like to be his groomsmen, random funny detalis about stuff (I tried to keep it light and fun rather than serious). I could tell that he was still a little nervous, even though he was the one who started it, and he actually admitted out loud that it all "seems a little too real" and that he doesn't like change -- but that he wishes he could skip all the wedding stuff and be married to me "yesterday" :) (I told him I wasn't opposed to going to the courthouse, but he was like "no, no, my family would skin me alive...").  I told him what I always tell him when he brings it up and then gets nervous -- that all I care about is that he'd be the one I'd be marrying, and that I'm going to love him the same whether he's my boyfriend or fiance or husband, and he should wait until he's ready to ask.  He always says "but you're ready" (... he can tell? :P) -- I don't know how to pressure him less than what I already do!

Anyhoo.... so, last night in bed, he tells me that he'll have a surprise for me really soon. A big surprise. A BIG surprise. And he asked me what night this week I don't have anything to do.  I tried to play it as cool as I could -- we ended up agreeing on Saturday, for whatever the surprise is. I asked him if we were doing something or going somewhere, and he made a noncommittal noise, but he did say that it would need to be a night when we'd have some time together (which is almost every night...... uhh....).

I'm trying to convince myself that he can't be proposing on Saturday because I know he hasn't had enough saved back in his ring fund to be ready now. And he's mentioned a number of times that he's thought about asking my dad first, or my dad and mom and grandmother first, even though the thought of it scares him silly -- and I know he hasn't had the opportunity to ask any of them, unless he has been a super proposal-ninja (and subtlety isn't his strong point).

All the same, it's driving me batty! I tried not to ask him too many questions because I don't want to ruin the surprise, whatever it is (this has happened before, when I thought he was proposing and he was really investigating buying me a Kitchenaid mixer...). I do know that the surprise isn't alive, so no pets coming to the house :P

How do you calm 'er down and not get all crazy when they tease you like this? :P

It does sound promising, but at the same time you just never know with boys.  They are tricky things!! And even if you have talked to them, sometimes they dont know just how much we think of proposals every time they do this to us.  Hopefully that IS what the surprise will be, otherwise I know it will hurt, and I honestly dont think they know how bad that hurts. But just remember to have fun, enjoy the moment, and love the fact that you have a caring boyfriend who is trying to please you with fun surprises! He will make a great husband one day! He is yours and even if the ring doesnt come right now, the boy is still there :)

Good Luck! I had no idea when my FI asked my parents and I didn't think he could be extra sneaky either but he was!

It sounds VERY promising. Just remember this: Whatever it ends up being, even if it's not a proposal, he spent time planning something very special for you and that whatever it is should be appreciated just the same. That helped me try to keep disapointment at bay once or twice!

Other things I found out about The Surprise today:

1) It will take place in our bedroom (probably. Or maybe in the spare room which has nothing in it).

2) Other people will be coming over (he will not reveal whether I know them or not).

3) I will be blindfolded.

4) I asked if I needed to wear anything special, and he said "who knows, you may end up naked." I think... pray... hope he was joking?

After he teased me with these bits of info, the only answer I can come up with is that we're making a porno.

And there's absolutely no special occasion this weekend that I'm forgetting.

I really don't know what the heck else it could be, but at this point, I'm so intrigued that I'm excited about whatever it turns out to be! (Except maybe a surprise porno-filming session. Yeah, no, not so much a good surprise...)

@BlueRidgeMere: Almost peed myself laughing at the porno comment. Know how badly you want this hun, fingers crossed that it's the surprise you are looking for.

@maeby omg!! My bf would totally do that to me! I'm laughing soo hard! A miter saw, lol!

Blueridgemere! I'm so excited! I totally want to know what the suprise is now too!!

You wonderful ladies and your fantastic words of wisdom are about all that's keeping me grounded and sane :)  Thank you!

I also had the passing thought today that he maaaaaay be having some folks bring over the quilting frame from his granny's attic -- she passed away last winter, and I know family members are cleaning out her house and one my SO's aunts will be moving in, so they may be making room -- and he may have passed on the word that I would give one of my feet for a quilting frame (not a hand or an eye, but I could still totally sew with a peg leg. Yarrrrrr, matey, come to me quilting bee!).

I'm ok with receiving appliances/non-jewelry-items as presents as long as he keeps me realistically grounded about them. He uuuusually makes sure to mention before significant holidays where he's at in the ring-saving process and whatnot. Of course, that could be the same thing he's doing here -- he has told me recently that "it'll be a while" before he's got the money saved up. I'm just stuck wondering if he's fibbing to me to keep me off he scent or if he's just got something else totally surprising and exciting lined up :)  It's so hard not to wonder, with his crazy set of clues.

False alarm! :P

SO spilled the beans tonight, and I'm glad he did so that it wasn't so big of a letdown later -- no proposal, but he did pay the sister of our friend, who is newly-graduated from massage school, to come give me the works. So she'll be coming to our house, but we have to wait until her massage table arrives before we know she'll be able to do it. And whaddaya know, it makes the naked part make sense :P

I love his surprise, even though it's not what I was thinking it might be... and it does sting, a lot, but I hope and pray that I'm grounded enough to get over that without him realizing what I thought it was, because I really, really do want to appreciate and enjoy this gift :) I do indeed have a great guy, even if he is kind of clueless when it comes to setting things up verbally (because I gotta say, really, from the clues he was giving me, that seems like a totally reasonable assumption -- which makes me feel a little justified and better about having a few days of inner craziness :P)

A good thing is that I know he's been thinking and talking about engagement/marriage, and this not being a proposal doesn't erase all that :)  It feels really good to have that assurance to hold on to -- I think that's what's keeping me from being all-out wack.

The sucky part, though, is that I'm my bff's MOH, and we're going to a bridal show in two weeks. I'd been letting myself think "hey, I can look at the pretty stuff, too!" -- even though she's got money to burn and I know that I'll be pulling an under $5K wedding when it ever happens, I know it's a lot more fun to go when you can get ideas too without feeling guilty for pre-planning (I was a pre-planner for a while until I realized it just made me get my hopes up REALLY bad, and it made me feel like I was doing something behind SO's back).  Now it kind of feels like my bff and I are two five year olds in art class, and the teacher gave us paper and crayons to draw with, but I'm not allowed to play with them -- I'm only allowed to sit there and offer up opinions on whether I think this green is better than the other green when my friend asks for advice.

Part of me really wishes I could tell all this to SO, because I know he know's something's up (because I'm in the living room on my laptop rather than in bed at 4 in the morning... because I got a little scared that I'd cry on his arm if I didn't let it out a little). But I know that if I let him in on this part of how I feel, he would feel really guilty -- I can tell he already feels guilty for not being ready when we talk about it and he says "I wish I could be ready sooner because I know you're ready." I want to be excited and surprised and happy whenever he does propose, and he doesn't need a memory of thinking he made me feel bad over it in the back of his mind when that happens.

I just know I'm going to need a lot of practicality and groundedness to get through the next six months. Our anniversary is in mid-October, then there's my birthday in early November, then Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and Valentines' Day, all in a row... and unless he gets a random windfall of money or decides for some reason to go in debt to pay for a ring (which I would never want him to do), I don't want to make my holidays sucky by getting too excited and then let down.

Thanks for listening, lady-bees, if you made it this far :)

Auuuuugh. And this morning he asks me which wall a 50-inch HD television would look better on.

*headdesk*

Aww that's a bummer, BUT at least you get a nice massage out of all of it!!! and I'm sure with all of this stress that will help a lot!!

I feel ya on the next few months thing.  If my BF doesnt do it soon, I will definitely be getting my hopes up (and then down) each holiday.  We are all in this toghether and will help each other through it! We just have to keep telling ourselves that we still have some really great things going for us: you get a good massage, you have a surprise-filled boyfriend, and you have a man in your life that loves you with all of his heart. It will happen, we just have to enjoy the things that come in the meantime. :)

You ladies rock my world and are great at keeping me thankful and grounded :)  It's so great to have a place to go where you know other women are going through the same thing! (I feel like I say that in every thread I make at some point, but it's totally worth repeating :D)