(Closed) He’s set on a diamond

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

You probably can’t talk him out of a diamond if he asks you want you want, then immediately tells you the opposite.

I would try to reason with him that you have to wear this ring for the rest of your life and you’d like something that fits your tastes.

Post # 4
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Does he want to get you something you like or doesn’t he?

Perhaps he thinks you actually do want a big diamond set into platinum and you’re only asking for something else because you selflessly don’t want him to spend too much? Many men assume that all women really want a diamond. Perhaps try and convince him you really would prefer an opal.

Post # 5
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Don’t forget that rings also reflect on him, too. Even though you REALLY want an opal, he may be worried that people will think he was cheap or that you don’t actually like it.

Have a heart to heart with him. If he insists on a diamond, it IS HIS GIFT TO YOU for your engagement. I know others will disagree with me on this, but even though you have to wear it, the fact that he’s buying it for you gives him the final say in what it is.

Post # 6
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

why is he so insistant on not listening to what you want? I’d be worried of his controlling attitude :/

Post # 7
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Well, opals are really fragile, so be careful if you do end up with an opal ring.

I’d start printing out pics of what you like and sending them his way. You guys are already talking rings, there’s no harm in voicing your preference.

Post # 8
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Isn’t it ironic that many girls want a big diamond and the girl with the FI that wants to give her one doesn’t want one?  Just had to point that out, nothing wrong with it!  I think you should just talked to him about it and see if you can compromise.  Maybe he could give you the diamond e-ring he wants to now and the opal next year for you anniversary?

Post # 9
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My FI was adamant that I have a diamond. I have a sapphire ring which was never supposed to be THE e-ring, it was supposed to be a temporary thing but I just didn’t see the point in getting another ring when I don’t even like diamonds at all. It took YEARS (literally) for me to finally convince him that I REALLY DID NOT want a diamond and I wasn’t just sayig that because they are exoensive, or whatever other reason. He was sure I was only saying it because he thought I didn’t want him to spend that much money. I told my FI that if he bought me adiamond I would sell it, and I meant it.

Just give him good reasons why you don’t want a diamond and eventually (hopefully) he will finally get it! Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Lilubird: I imagine it’s not controlling, I believe it’s probably more likely that he think she really does want that and is just worried about the cost, or something like that.

Post # 12
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Tell him that you don’t want a diamond and if he still gets you one, then you won’t wear it. Simple as that. You are the one wearing it, not him. 

Post # 13
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Interesting enough… guys have big egos when it comes to rings. So he may be worried about what other people will think when he shows them your non-diamond e-ring. It had been one month and my FI already wanted to upgrade my diamond… I was like, leave me alone I love my ring. Anyway, you should have a “slap you in the face” conversation with him and let him know that you really want a certain type of ring. You don’t mind him spending money… it’s not that… but you want something different. He needs to deal with it 🙂

Post # 14
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Can you work out a compromise? For example, carat for carat, some shapes of diamonds look smaller than others because of the cut. Asschers for one are cut deep and a 1-carat asscher will not look as big as a 1-carat round. Then you could get interesting side stones and have some of what you want, too.

Post # 15
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Shylis: Ok, was just trying to let you know.

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