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When do married couples/House owners/Apartments renters start hosting Thanksgiving at their own home? I didn't cook at all last year for Thanksgiving or Christmas. We spend the holidays going to My moms then to my husbands mom's & his mamaw's! Needless to say we ate plenty! :P
But I have always wondered (& even when we first got our own place in March 2010 I got excited thinking about cooking for Thanksgiving!) But we have a 1 bedroom apartment. So us hosting at the moment would be silly. Do you host it when you get a house? or is it always at your parents/grandparents house? Is it after you have kids?
Silly question I know! haha But what do you think?
I voted "other". We already hosted Christmas last year, although we weren't married yet. We had just bought our house and DH's family decided that since we were getting married soon, we deserved to get our own holiday.
I think part of it was that they are getting older and don't want to do all that work anymore, lol! I know that DH's cousin was married with kids and a house for years and never got to host.
Well, we're not married yet, but we started hosting Thanksgiving at our house the Saturday before the actual holiday about 3 years ago...4 years ago? I don't remember ha ha, but once we were actually in a house, we took it upon ourselves to start a new tradition of hosting it every year the weekend before. Now everyone looks forward to it.
We invite my immediate family and all of our friends. MrCPT's family is not local. Then on Thanksgiving day we go to his grandparents house (about 1.5 hr drive) and then to my parents house after.
Christmas has been held at our house once, when his brother & family, mom, and grandma came to stay with us for the holidays.
We have a house and a baby, but we're still going to be going to the parents houses. It's just tradition. Both of our parents live close so we have to go to each of them, so doing something at our house too would just be too much.
Interesting question...I was just thinking about this topic this morning, lol. FI and I aren't married yet, but we bought a house together last June. The past few Christmases we would go to my parents' house first, then travel to my FI's mom's house. But since either parents go anywhere else on Christmas, we could probably just have everyone over to our house. Hmm..
Our parents live very far from us and they all hate traveling, so not anytime soon unfortunately. I don't think we will be able to force them to come to us until we start a family and own a home. They will only be tempted to come if it's their only option to see us.
We already host all of the Holidays, except for Easter. My Mother a couple of years ago gave me the responsibility. I think it's because I'm more of a creative cook perhaps. One of my Aunt's is already making food requests for Christmas Eve LOL.
I think we will go to our parents house until our (future) kids get older or we have a house. We are only 15 minutes from my parents and an hour from his - my husband still has younger brothers and sisters (the youngest is 7) so christmas at their house is still very exciting. plus there is just no room to host a dinner at our little apartment - we have a hightop kitchen table that seats 4. eek!
I don't really know when we would start hosting anything. We typically do my side holidays with my entire extended family, and one of my aunts cooks every year. I'd assume somebody else will take it it over if she ever didn't want to/couldn't anymore, but don't know that it would be me.
DH's family just does immediate family, and since we live far away from his mom and sister they always host, and we sometimes come visit.
I guess... I'd do it if we ever just stayed home? Maybe after our kids are grown, I dunno... so not really answering your question at all!
I was thinking about this the other day. My parents live in a different country so we are still trying work out which country so it is a lot tougher. I'm thinking when we have a house we might be able to host it every other Christmas? It is nice to get out of the city though, so maybe we'll just keep going to MILs.
We started hosting Thanksgiving our Sophomore year in college; it's just easier to have everyone travel to us, since our families live so far away from each other. About three years ago we moved to a location that gets a lot of snow in the winter, so our families have open invitations to join us for the holidays. But we made it very clear when we moved here that we will not be traveling anymore. Especially now that we have a kid, it's just too much work.
It will wait until we have a house, or at least a bigger place. Right now, I'm a student but even once I'm working we want to make sure we're going to stick around in location for quite a while before actually buying a house. If we're renting a house, then I would also consider.
I'm not a great cook. My sister got married in 2010 and she already had us over for Easter (just 4 of us). Our parents live further away, so Christmas will probably always be there (one day his parents, one day mine), unless we end up moving back there.
I think like my sister, I would prefer to start off small. Something like Easter would be good. It's not a traditional big meal, and doesn't require getting all the family together.
If I ever hosted Christmas, I probably wouldn't be the one doing most of the cooking! At least not for a very long time.
We already host, even when we weren't engaged and lived in our old apartment. Our families live all over the place, so holidays are difficult. This year will be our 3rd year hosting Xmas eve for my family and his family. Las year we hosted Thanksgiving, but it was just 4 of us :)
Sorry I singled out newlyweds everyone! I changed the title & the post. To married couples, house owners/apartment renters. :-)
@totheislnds: That is how Christmas is at my Mom's. I have two younger sisters, one is 16 & one is 8 turning 9 soon. :-)
We lived together in a townhouse for a couple years, but we started hosting as soon as we moved into our current home 2 years ago. The next month we had everyone over for Thanksgiving, and then we had Christmas 2010 at our place. We also do a lot of other dinners/bbqs/showers/etc at our place too!
We started hosting holidays when we bought our house 3 years before we were married.
It actually makes the holidays really relaxing when you don't have to travel!
Oh & also, my mom lives an hour away from us. His mom is about 30 minutes & his mamaw is 2 minutes from his mom's house. We usually do Christmas eve at my parents & then Christmas day with his mom & mamaw. & We did Thanksgiving at my moms, then the day after visted his mom. Its hard going to both in one day. We did that for easter this year. We left to go to my mom's really early. Got there around 8 AM then left there around 12 or 1PM then went to his uncle's house where most of his dad's side of the family was. Then we went to his mamaws. We was exhausted!
We both have divorced families so the holidays for us is a nightmare. We have hosted my family several times alreay, my parents get a long well so it was nice. We have offered to host with MIL, but she usually just pics a date and time to host and if we can make it we go. I think this year we will probably offer to host again, seeing it is my holiday to work (work 7p-7a Christmas Eve and day). Our families live 2 hours away from each other and with kids it is really tough to travel for 4-5 Christmas celebrations.
Ours will be when we have a house AND if/when we live closer to family.
The majority of our families live relatively close together (short drive) and we live far away from both sides (plane flight required). It doesn't make any sense for us to host and require EVERYONE to fly to us when if anyone else hosts, we're the only ones who need to get on a plane.
I'd love to host everyone but while we live far away, it just doesn't make sense.
Probably never ;) Definitely not until we have kids. I'd love to but our parents are horrendous travelers and they already live in the same city (along with a lot of his extended family too) so it's easiest for us to go to them.
When DH and I were engaged we would host Thanksgiving at our house. Now that we are married, we are going to keep that tradition:)
Other! We already do! We pretty much started hosting as soon as we got set up in our house and had a big enough table for everyone. I love it! Plus we had this really selfish reasoning: Christmas was pretty hectic. The morning at home, then lunch with my MIL, then dinner at my parents on the other side of the city. So we started hosting at our house and made everyone come to us, LOL! We're halfway between my parents and my sister, so it was good for my sister and her family too. Plus I don't find making a turkey very difficult, I'd rather do that than all the driving! We split up the sides, so my MIL usually brings a sald, my mom brings the potatoes, my sister brings something else or a dessert. It works out perfectly. I wouldn't have it any other way!!
Last year we drove to 3 states in one day to see family for Christmas. It started at 6am and ended close to midnight. It was exhausting and when we have kids we will NOT be doing that!
I think it depends on how flexible whomever it is you are inviting over is to the idea of change.
I say that, because DH and I tried to host Christmas at our place last year... we thought it would be fun to start a new tradition and have everyone over. Boy, did that NOT go over well. My sister (who typically hosts) wanted to keep her tradition of hosting... and saw my invitation to host as something she did NOT want to do.
Tread lightly, if there's any hesitancy to change in your family traditions. I had NO IDEA how much of an issue it would become - (some) people like their traditions to remain INTACT.
Honestly I don't know if we will ever host. Right now our apartment is too tiny to host a holiday dinner and after the wedding we are looking at moving away farther away from both of our families. That would mean everyone else would have to travel to us... It will just make more sense for the two of us to head back to our parents.
I'm a childless-by-choice vegetarian who lives 3000 miles away from my entire family. They would never want to my house for the holidays!
@mrskesslertobe: I have divorced family too, and am starting to hate the 3-house runaround on holidays. I used to love it (3 separate dinners!!), but our families seem to get more dysfunctional by the year. Last year was particularly awful.
Every year I want to go somewhere to escape them all. Maybe this will be the year...
Our parents live about 15 mins from us (they live in the same neighborhood) so on THanksgiving, we have dinner with my family (since its just my parents, brother and sister) and then have desert with hubs family since there are about 15 people who come every year. Christmas, we usually go to my parents first, then his dad and stepmoms, then to my aunts house, and we usually spend the next day with his sister and her family at their house. We don't plan on having kids, so we feel like we will always have to travel somewhere for the holidays. We do a lot of friend traditions at our house though, so I guess that makes up for it. I can't wait to start having holiday parties here, and me and my bff and her bff will be spending the whole day and night of black friday together this year, doing lots of girly things, so I really can't wait for that!!
We were "volunteered" to host Christmas the year we moved into our house (before we were married). It was just DH's siblings, parents and 2 unanticipated added guests (gotta love when people invite others to YOUR home without asking).
Since then, we've just done holidays at our parents' homes, but I know that when we sell our current house and move into a larger place we'll probably be expected to host the holidays. I already told DH that I'm okay doing 1 per year, but I am not going to host every holiday. And since I hate cooking, it will be potluck.
@mrskesslertobe: I hate the holidays. Like really really hate. We have to go to 5, yes 5 houses on Christmas day.
1. My parent's house
2. My FIL's
3. My FIL's mothers
4. My MIL's parents
5. My MIL's
It is horrible and I am already stressing about it. This will be our 9th Christmas together and it still is a really sore spot for me, since my entire family meets at one place (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc), and my husband's divorced family meets at 4 houses. That means I get to spend like 2 hours with my family and the rest of the day with his looney-ass family.
I am pregnant now, and I plan on it being a brand new ballgame next year. I refuse to drive around that much with a child. I think it's just not fair, especially once they are older, and really just want to play with their new toys. I think we are just going to plan our own thing and just go from there. If they want to see us, they can come over, or finally someone can give in and do Christmas Eve.
we've hosted my family for easter twice already and both families for thanksgiving last year. we don't have any grandparents left, so it will rotate around the families. everyone lives close by, so we can switch things up easily. we do more of a pot luck as well with every person contributing something!
@bree72: I was in a similar boat - holidays with my parents, DH parents and both sides of the family for a total of 4 stops. I told him that wasn't going to happen when we had kids, and wasn't fair to my family having to plan around 3 other events.
So, the new plan is to do each of our parents, then stop at one side of his extended family for each holiday. One gets Thanksgiving, the other gets Christmas. And I'm hoping in a year or two we can stop doing that and have it down to 2 - his parents and mine.
We built our home and moved in November 2009. I've been with my now DH for 5 years total now and his parents have controlled every single holiday with no respect to my family. I grew a little tired of it last year and wanted to host a gathering in our home even though we don't have kids. We have more than enough room for 20 people and it would have been our first holiday celebration in our home seeing as 2009 was out due the stress of the move. I will say this did not go over well with the inlaws and they said they weren't coming. They said we could come to their house at 3. I put my foot down and told them how I felt and that I was not going to rush a holiday with my family to go to their house. FYI my inlaws live a MILE down the road do it's not like travel was an issue. They eventually came after I confronted them about my hurt feelings and that it's either you spend they day with or without us but it will be in our home. We've since had conversations that this is how it will be from now on. Our holidays will not revolve around them and that time wi be spent with my family too and we can either do it together or separate. We will see what this year brings but I'm sure once kids are in the mix they will eventually get it.
I voted "other." Normally his brother/SIL host, and they have two little boys. Sometimes his parents will, but not as often. We generally go wherever it's being hosted. Last year his brother/SIL went to her sister's house in Vegas, and it was too far for us w/ not enough time off to travel, so we just stayed home, the two of us.
Hopefully when we eventually buy a house and have kids, we'll be closer to his family than we are now, and might be able to trade holidays with his brother.
We started hosting the year we got together when we were house-sitting my late granny's house. His mother isn't a great cook and my mum's Jewish (as I am too but I love feeding people) whereas I'm known for my cooking skills.
We bought our house 10 months after we got together and chose it because we had space for a dining table that will seat 12 and a decent kitchen.
Being trusted to take over the seder will be a much bigger deal!
Well we have an apartment, so not right now. It would be lonely here. I would prefer to spend it at my parents. They are older though, so eventually I won't spend it there:( I would say that right now it would be easy to spend holidays at both in-laws places.
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