Post # 1
I hope im not breaking any rules because im a guy…
I stumbled on this forum while doing some research for my GF ering (yes i read newbee guide and learned some abbreviations..lol)..we live with our our parents in toronto and are hoping to be wedded and living together in 2 yrs…
i will proposing sometime next year..but im torn and confused what to do for the ring so im here to ask your opinions…
im a banker and make OK money for now..she is a nurse and does as well however her main focus is moving out..not to a condo (which we can afford but a house) torontos housing market sucks…small detached homes cost a half million and small semis are in the 400’s…i know to avoid certain fees i need to come up with a 100K down payment and in 2 yrs that will not happen…so we are staying in..saving and skimping on everything as if we have a mtgmand no money..lol
now to the real stuff..while my main focus is saving for the house second is her ering…i had set a budget of $15K and when she found out she flipped…said wayy too much to spend on a ring (thank god) now the problem is she knows nothing of jewelry and i know lot…she said dont spend that..get something simple (she just has heard words and thinks they are reg stuff) 1ct princess internally flawless diamond……….right!
after i told her that would cost close to $30K she was lost…I took her to see some rings so she can get an idea of what is what…turns out she hates priness cut and knows knows what she wants…bur doesnt want me spenidng anything over $8K taxes in (13% here) because she wants the focus of savings for the house more..im happy with her midset
now i dont know what to do…do i lie to her and get what i wanted..do i listen to her..do i go in between..do i get something for now and tell her we’ll upgrade when we can..would you be that mad as a fiance? Financially…only about $500/month gets put away so spending almost half of the original budget would be fantastic..i could get it today.
i have narrowed down my options if i listen to her….high quality .75 or relatively good quality 1ct
if i dont…1ct very high quality…or 1.5ct relatively good quality
whats more important ladies? House or ering….and size or quality
Post # 3
For me, the style was the most important, followed by size, then quality. Can you elist the help of one of her friends? They could go window shopping for rings, then you can get the skinny on which ones she liked and go buy one of them. That’s what my now husband did. During my shopping trip with my friend, I found about 5 different rings I like. The jewelers made a file from my visit and my now husband went back and looked at my top picks. He ended up getting me an amazing antique 1 carat ring that I love and did not break the bank! Or, you can just go shopping together since it sounds like she already knows you’re going to propose.
Post # 4
@Hubbee: where did you hear a 1 ct IF princess is $30K? This is definitely not the case. You can definitely find this stone in your $8K budget!
ETA – oh. And a house is more important than a ring IMO. And quality better than size. But I also wanted to mention, you absolutely should head over to pricescope.com and post what you’re looking for in the Rocky Talky forum. They’ll find you exactly what you’re looking for. They are amazing.
Post # 5
I have never heard of a 1 carat stone for $30k. I just went on bluenile.com to see if I can make a ring fitting your specifications for $8k and came up with a 1.02 ideal cut round, F color, VVS1 clarity on a basic solitaire setting for $8013.
I second @PaisleyMedic: ‘s recommendation to check out Pricescope. Good luck!
Post # 6
@Hubbee: I don’t think you should spend more than the amount she is comfortable with. $8k can go far if you shop around!
Post # 7
You can totally find a 1 carat internally flawless diamond in your budget. I just bought an internally flawless GIA .94 from James Allen. Definitely shop online, and I highly recommend James Allen. The house is far more important and quality is more important than size for me, but that’s a personal preference. 🙂 Best wishes!
Post # 8
@Hubbee: Another GREAT idea…check out the Moissanite boards!!!! There are tons of them on here…You have to do some research, but you may save thousands upon thousands of dollars if you both agree on a Moissanite!
Post # 9
Where are you looking that 1 ct are $30? I’m assuming a Tiffany’s or Cartier style store. Please consider having the ring “custome made”, even if it is simple. My DH saved a ton of money by not buying brand name, and I’m very proud of that fact. The ring is just as nice, the diamond GLA certified and gorgeous, but it didn’t come in the little blue box. I think that would be a nice compromise between what you both want. Alternatively, if you both really want a giant blingy ring, consider a center stone that is not a diamond.
Post # 10
I used recycled gold, (from family jewelry) and stones, and only bought a small diamond, and a larger sapphire, (fortunately for my budget, my wife did not want a diamond) and only paid for design. It was way, way less expensive than I expected. It was under $1000. Perhaps see what old jewelry might be in your family, and in hers? And, hey, show her some gem stone rings, and let her know how different the prices are. If she likes white stones, you could get a white sapphire, to be replaced by a diamond later.
I got my wedding band from a place that uses recycled gold, and, gold and work, it was $250. It’s only a 4 mm band, but even so, it was a quarter of the price that the jeweler that did the engagement ring quoted – and $600 of her price was going to be the gold!
Post # 11
Honestly the house is probably more important. A ring can’t put a roof over your head and a place to sleep at night! I love your girlfriend’s mindset, and snaps to you for listening to her! Mine didn’t, and spent more than I am comfortable with on my ring. If you plan to get something a little bit smaller then I’d recommend discussing that with the jeweler so you can pick something you can set a larger stone in down the road, not all settings can accommodate this. I think looking somewhere around .75-.85 ct would be great! Most people can’t tell .15-.2 ct difference 🙂
Post # 12
Fellow Torontonian here! Awesome username, by the way. 🙂
Personally, my SO and I don’t feel that it makes sense to buy property now, so we won’t be for a few years. One thing we agree on is that we don’t want to be one of those people who commute from Whitby or Mississauga or Barrie – if we’re going to buy, it has to be in Toronto so that the commute isn’t brutal. My current commute is 1+hr each way right now and it SUCKS. So…we need to save our pennies.
I work in the investment business and according to one of my bosses, the housing market usually slows a bit after the summer Olympics – I can’t remember his rationale. So that could be helpful.
In the meantime, I say spend what she feels comfortable with – it’ll be both your money after you get married, after all. $8K can get you a very, very decent ring though, a very decent quality 1 carat for sure. Have you looked at JamesAllen.com? You can plug in all your requirements and see the actual stones they are selling, all magnified so you can have a clear view. 🙂
I think you should just communicate with her, however – none of us know what she wants. Ask if she wants to prioritize size or quality. Ask if she wants a forever stone now or if she will want to upgrade. Since you’re open to the idea, it’s all up to her. Or…you can ask how she feels about moissanite, if it’s something you’d be comfortable with. There are lots of options, but I think you just need to ask her personally because it’s for her.
Good luck! 🙂
Post # 13
House should be #1 priority
Quality over quantity! Go smaller, with better specs. My entire set was under 8k! But I am in the U.S.
I have a 1ct square celebration cut diamond , VS2, G color center stone. I got it for $5500ish. Setting was $1200. Check online before you buy!
Post # 14
Yeah, 8k is a hefty budget!
Check this out – an almost perfect 1ct diamond in a lovely simple setting:
The total diamond carat weight of your ring is 1.04.
Ideal-cut, H-color, VVS2-clarity, Round, 1.02-carat Diamond. Stock #: LD03834511
Leaf Solitaire Engagement Ring in 14k White Gold. Stock #: 21201
Link to the ring:
Post # 15
@Hubbee: Well, first of all, welcome to the Hive! Of course guys are allowed!
Second, good for you for being so focused on saving and being responsible. . . I don’t know if I could retain my sanity living with my parents long enough to save in such a way!
Third, I don’t know if this has been suggested already, but how would you and she feel about moissanite? It is a very hard stone, originally found in meteorites but now synthesized, which is most commonly available in a “white” stone like a diamond. They are much cheaper (like a few hundred for a 1 carat high-quality stone rather than thousands) and are a forever stone. They look different from diamonds– their sparkle is more intense and colorful. And they often do have more color warmth than “white” diamonds.
Some people don’t like them at all and aren’t comfortable having something that isn’t diamond. But if you haven’t heard of them before/are open to something different, look into moissanite. My engagement ring has one in it and I love it– it’s beautiful, very sparkly, will last forever, and my fiance didn’t have to spend (what for us would have been) huge amounts of $ on the ring.
ETA: I see others already have suggested moissanite. 🙂
I figured I should post a pic of my ring so you can see what the stone looks like (though sparkle does not come through well in photos). It’s a .5 ct moissanite; we went for somethign small because I never take rings off and I work with my hands a lot. That’s another aspect of the ring purchase to consider– how does your girlfriend wear her jewelry? Does she garden and do a lot of stuff with her hands, or not? Those definitely can influence the type of setting you get, etc. I think the best thing would be to talk to her about it more. I’m sure she will be happy to talk about it with you!!
Post # 16
@Hubbee: I found an IF I 1.07 emerald cut that was just over 4k.. but emerald cuts are about 20% cheaper than more popular cuts like round! Check ritani and james allen for loose stones.
Either way though, in most case IF is a HUGE waste of money. You can get a bigger, higher colored, VS or SI range stone (depending on the cut) for a lot less. Depending on the setting, I think 8k is a really good budget for a nice and decent sized ring.
You said she now realizes that she hates princess cuts.. What shape are you thinking?