- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I have been with my fiance for almost 7 years. We are best friends. I am 30. He is 31. We met way back in 2005, he actually thought I was a mutual friends lesbian girlfriend because I came into the resturant with her, haha then he found out I wasn’t and the rest is history!
We got engaged on 8/26/2012. A total surprise. He took me horseback riding. Got down on one knee. I cried. I said Yes. Best feeling ever.
I knew I wanted to do a rustic/barn wedding. I mean we’ve been together for 6ish years I got the wedding bug a few times during those years 😉 and with pintrest how could I girl not imagine?
So we actually found our perfect venye, it was the first one we went too (we went to a few after but they all felt like cookie-cutter/busines ventures) it’s on an actual family farm with a great family, barn, and cute animals. My dream. (If I could I would have my own barn/farm with my fiance and be the happiest gal in all the land but instead I take people shopping for a living because I live in Los Angeles haha)
Anyways, we got the venue and booked it (it’s not as easy as it seems, the place is perfect and our hearts are in it but it was a bit out of our budget the lady of the house caters the weddings and that part is quite expensive, so my fiance and I created a cute little flash card video for her and her family in hopes she would see how much we loved the place and work out a price, we put a lot of heart into the video and I am so grateful to say she is helping work within our budget!)
So yesterday, we discuss dates and my fiance and I are set on a September 2013 wedding. I just LOVE it. it feels right, ya know? so she only does 1 wedding a weekend because it’s her home and a lot of work so I can understand that. I come from a Jewish family (I am not a big practicer but I respect my family members who are) so I can’t do it around rosh hashanah or yom kippur so next year thats basically the first weekend of September and second week also note my fiances best friend is getting married most likely on 9/01/2013, we all got engaged around the same time, like a week apart. So those two weekend 7 and 14th are a no because one a friend is getting married a week before, and jewish holidays. The farm already has a wedding booked on 9/22 so when she offered 9/15 or 9/29 i jumped at 9/29 because I knew my Mom/Dad and other important family members wouldnt want me to do it right after the day of atonement for Jews, heck I don’t want that either and 9/29 is fun to say at the very least.
So we GOT the date. I tell some of my family and friends and everyone is getting so excited and happy our video worked and we get to get married at the place we LOVE and etc etc and then it happens… (sprry for this long post btw, youre awesome for getting this far)
My older brother calls (keep in mind I live in los angeles area and he is in northern california) Says he doesn’t think he can come then because it’s his wifes birthday on the 28th. I am broken hearted. I basically learn he feels I am not there for him at his important moments so why should he be there for mine. Dont get me wrong Bee’s he was my first best friend and the best older brother ever but as we got older it became more difficult to talk to him, I would always get his wife on the phione and could never really talk to my brother (and at the time I wasn’t to crazy about her) so I sort of gave up. But when he did get married I went (It was actually on my fiances and I first anniversary in 06) and when he had his first child, I made arrangments to come out there like 3 weeks after she was born but got really sick so I didnt meet her until she was 2 months old. I feel badly about that. But i cried like a baby at his wedding and when I got the first photos of his daughter I cried and told him how proud I was of him and how we would be a great dad, yada yada yada.
I am hurt that he may not attend. Really really hurt. I get/understand it’s his wifes 33rd or 34th birthday and I think he is a great husband for wanting to not neglect her birthday (her bday is the 28th I would be getting married the 29th) my brother suggested maybe I get married in November (because the barn place is shutting down all of October for her own daughters wedding and I dont want a summer summer wedding) but I think the barn is shutting down after her daughters wedding till April/March for wedding season next year because I did mention November to her and her family and she she kept saying lets make September work and I don’t want to impose on them since they are working with us on our budget, I love them for it!
I totally get it’s his wives birthday weekend and I do not want to have her special day taken away, so I offered to put them in a swanky hotel (my friend works for one) the night of her birthday and find child-care for my niece if they want that. I am awaiting their reply, I sent them a text asking them their thoughts on that, because I told them it would crush me to not have them their on our special day but I do not want to take away from her birthday either, so lets make both days super special.
I guess I dont really need any advice and just wanted to vent but has anyone gone through anything similar? I love my brother. I am super hurt. I know our relationship can be better. I hope this makes us both aware. I try my best though and I can try harder now that I know he really cares.
so yeah thats the update from the farm 😉
and HI!! NICE TO MEET YOU ALL 😉 hehe