(Closed) Hi girls…need to vent.

posted 9 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

It is ludicrous to conceive that someone would even say that to you. It doesn’t matter how many times a person has been married. If two people love one another and want to get married, great. Just because you have been married before does not make this union any less special. If that’s how people feel about it, maybe it is better that they are not in attendance. Who would want that kind of negativity at such a happy event anyway. I don’t even know you, but I am mad FOR you. That is pure ridiculousness.

Post # 4
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

If I were local, I would be as likely to attend your encore wedding as I would be to attend your first wedding.  If I were out of town, then I might really have to think about the expense of traveling across the country for the second time.  But I’m sure that there are a large number of factors that will affect your turnout – how many guests are from out of town (and is out of town defined as people on the other side of Georgia or is it people from California), how much of an overlap is there between the guestlist of your two weddings, the amount of time in between weddings, and also how much people support the relationship between you and your fiancee (are the friends and family excited because the bride found a wonderful husband or or is everyone shrugging their shoulders and saying, "well, if that’s what she wants to do I guess we really can’t stop her." ).  All of these variables make a statement like, "you shouldn’t expect people to show up to your wedding" completely ridiculous.   It is impossible to accurately predict anyone’s wedding turnout, and you should just ignore your friend and invite whomever you like.

  

Post # 5
Member
1428 posts
Bumble bee

I think it was very rude & thoughtless of her to make such a comment to you. I know, if one of my friends was an encore bride, I would be there to celebrate her special day. Your close friends & family love you, and will be there for you even if they had been guests at your first wedding, I don’t think that would matter, I know to me, it wouldn’t.

Post # 7
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

people are rude.  whether it be in a parking lot, at the mall, or at the grocery store, people can be just plain rude.  so why are we so surprised when we run into a few of them while planning our wedding?  well, because it is a freaking wedding for crying out loud, and some rules of etiquette should apply…but sadly they don’t.  the good news is that the nice outweigh the rude, and the silly stupid rude comment you received was one silly stupid rude comment.  my sister got married for the second time just 3 years after her first, and more people showed up for the 2nd marriage.  so there!

Post # 9
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

awesome liztwintz – you (and the rest of the girls here) rock!  let me add this – my sister’s second marriage with her fantastic husband has produced two amazing kids, and they have a great life.  a golden future is yours honey – celebrate!

Post # 10
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

From your description of the situation, I don’t think the fact that you are an encore bride will have any effect on your turnout.  As the above posters noted, people say mean and thoughtless things all the time and I don’t think that you have anything to worry about.  Just enjoy your wedding, and I’m glad that you found such a great guy who makes you happy! 

Post # 11
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I can’t believe someone would say that to you! That’s horrible…and rude, like other posters have said. Don’t let that stupid comment discourage you. A wedding will always be a very special event, whether it be your first or your second. People will still want to be there to share in your special day, to encourage you, and to support you. I’m sure your turnout will be better than expected and your wedding day will blow your mind!

Post # 12
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

That’s awful that person said that to you.  Life hands us ups and downs and that person "close to you" must have known yours too so that is why I’m a bit angered by that unfounded response.

My family knows how much heartache and pain I went thru before and after my divorce and the myriad of problems my x brought me.  They saw me literally begin my life over and I know they want me to experience the kind of love and joy that I’ve deserved always..

Same could probably be said for you.  I would TOTALLY dismiss what this "close friend" said.  Some people honestly can not stand it if somebody else is happier than they’ve ever been.  And some just honestly like raining on everybody’s parade.

If she was a bride maybe she didn’t have the day she wanted and she’s not too thrilled you get to have yet another day? 

I have no clue why the cruel remark was made, but brush it off.  If she says something again like that, I would definitely have a sit down talk with them. 

You’re going to have a wonderful wedding and seeing people you love happy IS an important event.  You’ll also have many attending too.  Wishing you love and all the best!  

Post # 13
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@liztwinz:  I understand your concern.  No one has said anything like this to me, but my concern sprouted up all on its own.  This is my third wedding and my fiance’s second.  My first wedding was a big event, my second wedding was also an event as it was my ex-husband’s first.  This time, we are having a fairly small ceremony outdoors and then just a small, simple get-together afterwards with cake and picnic-y foods.  My fiance’s first wedding was an elopement and he didn’t include his family or really tell them about it until after it was done, so we expect a lot of his family to there.  I am afraid that most of my guests won’t attend, because they’ve done it twice for me already.  To calm my fears and anxiety, my fiance (and the most amazing, intelligent man I know, suggested this: NO SEATING ARRANGEMENT!  Everyone setting amongst everyone else and no center aisle, so there is no division and no real way to tell who is with who.  I LOVE HIM!!!

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