Post # 1
My SO and I are both Catholic. I am a member of a local church that my grandparents attend and SO is still a member of his home parish a few hours away. We are planning to get married in our current town, but are considering getting married at a different parish. We arent really connected to this parish and are fond of a smaller, more intimate parish in the city. However, I don’t want to hurt my grandparents’ feelings.
Have any of you had a situation like this? Anyone getting married in a different parish (but same city)?
Any advice would be welcome.
Post # 3
@MissOwl: hiya! i thought about getting married in a different parish, and to start off I just went to mass there. for me, even though it was a smaller church (which is why i was contemplating the switch), it just didn’t have that same “feel” that i’m used to so i’m sticking with my home parish. so, i guess that’s where i suggest you start! go to mass at the other churches and if you like it, register to be a member and set up a time to talk to the priest. :]
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2011 - St. Joseph's Parish, Seattle Tennis Club
I agree with @elliestan; try out the parish first to see if it is a good fit for you, and register as a member there. Have you broached the subject with your grandparents yet? Not sure how understanding they are or what your relationship with them is like, but I imagine they would be fine if you wanted a parish to which you felt more of a connection 🙂 We live in NJ and are getting married in Seattle, so our situation is a bit different.
Post # 5
We attempted this path (at first we wanted to get married in my childhood church, but my parents aren’t even members there anymore), but it got so complicated that we gave up and registered at our local parish and will be getting married there. I have learned that it is easiest to get married at a church where you are a registered member. Before I registered the office ladies would barely take my messages for the priest… after I told them I was a member it was all “Sure, OK, he’ll call you right back!”
Probably not what you wanted to hear! Sorry…
Post # 6
I went thru this in the beginning. My mom is really involved at her church and wanted it there but we are regular parishoners locally at a church this is not so pretty as my moms. Oh I really hate saying that! In the end we are going with our church because we feel at home there. I know my mom was disappointed because she is a big part of her church and it is a cathedral but I know I made the right choice.
Post # 7
We are moving a long distance shortly before our wedding, so we will be getting married in a church we don’t belong to. I’m very happy with the church we found, the priest, and the staff members that have helped us. They’ve all been very welcoming and kind. BUT the entire process was NOT that way. I literally contacted at least 8 churches and only 3 agreed to marry us as non-parishoners. One of them wanted us to pay $2000 (4x the amount of anything I have ever heard of in the area… this is not NYC)!
So I would say that, yes it can be done, but don’t put “all of your eggs” in one basket before speaking with the church. It really varies depending on the church or the marrying priest.
Post # 8
thank you all for your excellent advice. i talked to my family today and no one seems to mind that we would marry in a different church. it is the same sacrament after all.
i think we will definitely attend mass and perhaps even sign up at parishioners before even contacting the office about wedding arrangements. thanks!
Post # 9
A different parish in the same diocese shouldn’t be a problem at all. It’s when you change diocese that it becomes a little more complicated (but still completely doable).
If your grandparents are particularly fond of a priest at their parish, they could have him perform the wedding at the other church. You just need need permission from the pastor of the church where you’re getting married.
Post # 10
great to know CatholicBee.