- 5 years ago
Hi everyone! This is my first post, but like most people, I’ve been lurking around these boards for a long time, but I’ve officially decided I need an account because I’m waiting!
A little (or a lot) about me and my SO. I’m 22, he’s 27. We met when I was 18, but were just really really close friends because he had a long distance girlfriend. He broke up with her and started dating me when I was 19. We got along really well, we really never had any arguments or anything, but we were long distance for a little while because his job moved him far away (he’s a software engineer). He got a new job 3 hours from where I was living with my parents and working full time when I was 20. I never thought I would leave home, it was too cushy, but my parents LOVE him (and didn’t want me to miss out on a relationship with him) and obviously I do too, so I decided to leave my job and go live with him.
So, I moved to another state. I couldn’t find a job right away, so I sold my car. My SO didn’t want me to work full time and I didn’t want to either, so I ended up helping my neighbor at our apartment plan her wedding, which led to some more wedding planning in the area. I’ve been doing a lot of planning since then, which leads to some hard days.
Anyway, right after I moved in with him, we got two puppies in addition to his cat from a previous relationship. About 8 months after I moved, we bought a condo. We’ve owned the condo for over a year now, and for my birthday this year he bought me a new car. I know he wouldn’t want to do all this for me if this wasn’t heading to marriage, he’s a very money-concious person and won’t do anything that he thinks is wasteful.
My point is, we’re in a serious relationship. I knew from day one that I was going to marry him, and he used to tell me that he wanted to marry me all the time. He would “subtley” ask me what my ring size was, and he used to talk about our future kids all the time. We’re best friends, we do everything together, and he’s incredibly supportive.
Well, in the two years we’ve lived together, he’s gotten a lot more shy about getting married or engaged. I used to hint about it, but one time he made a joke about how he wasn’t going to get married and I completely stopped mentioning it and started throwing myself into working on weddings and stopped being there all the time for him. He also has an annoying habit of telling me “we’ll be together forever”, which annoys the crap out of me because we aren’t 15, give me a legit time. He had a girlfriend in college who forced him to buy an engagement ring for her and he’s kind of bitter about it, but it’s been 6 years since then. He’s the kind of guy who if there’s a problem he just completely ignores it and wont talk about it, mostly because he doesn’t want to make me mad, but it’s really annoying. Since that joke he’ll mention occasionally having kids with me or how he wants kids with me before he’s 30.
About a month ago, I couldn’t take the lack of conversation about getting engaged and wrote him a note that I felt like I was wasting my time with him. I told him I understood that different people have different timelines, but I want to enjoy a year or two of engagement and enjoy a few years of marriage before kids. I know 3 years isn’t that long, but I’m not going to keep waiting for him to not talk about it. I left the note on the table and went to my parents for a few days. He called me crying when he found it and told me how he was sorry for making me wait and he wanted to marry me and be with me.
I think I’m getting so frurated because his cousin (she’s 37, her SO is 49) got engaged after 7 months together, and my older sisters best friend got engaged after 9 months together. There’s no reason we shouldn’t have had a nice long talk about a serious timeline instead of “I want to be with you forever!” Ugh. Luckily, he’s been more open to talking about it lately, so I’ve decided I’m officially waiting.
Well if you’re still reading, thanks! I’m excited to be able to get to know your stories better!