(Closed) hi you guys!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Impatiently waiting: Welcome! My advice to you is to really think how long are you willing to wait for him. Based on your post, I think that the magic number is 2 years maybe 2 1/2 years .

I would also suggest that on your 1 year and half anniversary you have a talk with him and say the following in a gentle, not threatening way: ” 

– I know who I am and I know what I want for my life. I want to share my life with you and I will NEVER change my mind about this. But if this is not what you are looking for, you need to be honest and fair to yourself and me.

– Please give me the courtesy of not giving me half truths and false hopes  and say things like the following: a) I am your future wife. If you are going to say this, you have to seriously mean it.

b) I am not ready now but you never know what the future might hold for us- It gives me a sliver of hope but nothing definite that I can hold on. It still keeps me in limbo and I do not want to live like that.

Then give him some time to process and to think about. Good luck!

 

Post # 5
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Try to be a little patient. I am 27 also, and I understand feeling the pressure to get married and have kids before we are too “old”. But I feel like a year isn’t really enough time (though i know every situation is different). The beggining of the relatonship is when everything is peachy, and get tough later on. My FI to be and I have been togther almost 6 years. We actually waited too long for us, but due to finances. I would give it till the 2 year mark and then have the conversation.

Post # 6
Member
1785 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I agree that a year isn’t really long enough to start getting impatient about him not proposing. It is totally understandable that your boyfriend isn’t really ready to commit to forever after only a year. Although you are looking for a guy to commit to you, and I can understand that, its a bit unfair to impose your previous bad experiences of being strung along on your BF. He shouldn’t have to make a lifelong commitment before he is ready just because your previous partners have strung you along. Not to mention, it is not good for either of you for him to propose before he is ready.

I agree that the two year mark is a good place to start seriously talking about marriage. I wouldn’t doubt your bf’s feelings towards you, or whether he knows you are the one. Being able to say “you are the one” is a huge commitment in and of itself, but it doesn’t necessarily equate to being ready for marriage. As you’ll see on this board, most women are ready to marriage before (or LONG before, as is the case for some girls) their boyfriends.

Until then, welcome to the boards! it’s a great place for those of us who are waiting to be able to vent our frustrations and disappointments.

Post # 7
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with Krises- give your guy a little bit more time. I think after two years with nothing showing on his part than words is good to start moving on, but it sounds like he is headed there and just needs a little bit of time for him.

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