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I believe it would be very offensive to Christians.
If you do not want to have a cross in your ceremony, then do not get married in a church-- even if it is currently not in use as a religious place of worship.
The cross in that chapel is not a decoration.
Would covering the cross in this church be offensive? You betcha! Don't get married there.
I can't speak for Christians, but personally I wouldn't be offended by covering up the cross. Would any of your guests even know that the cross was covered up? I think if you do it in a subtle way it would be fine.
I don't think it would be offensive, especially if the chapel is not used specifically for Christian purposes. At first I was taken aback by your post & was like "how could she cover the cross" but then I really thought about it... it would only be offensive if this chapel were used on a regular basis in a religious capacity. If there were members or a priest then it would be a slap in the face.
Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm really just curious! My ex-bf is Jewish & he wouldn't step foot in my church. Regardless of the cross, doesn't it feel odd getting married in a chapel? Will other Jewish guests feel uncomfortable?
As for covering it, thats such a difficult task! I imagine you'll have a huppah-- so that will act as the focal point. You need a covering that won't take away from that! Eeek! Sorry I can't be more help. That cross is SO large. I hope you figure something out :)
Why would you want to get married in a chapel? I'm not sure how I feel about it honestly, but how in the world would you cover it? Its huge!
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Is the church still operational? If so, I sincerely doubt they'd allow you to cover it. And yes, you risk seriously offending your Christian guests.
Thanks everyone for your comments...
I do want to emphasize that the building is no longer a church but a preservation hall. It was moved from its original location to a beautiful public park to be used as a public hall. So again, it is NOT a church. I guess I messed up in referring to it as a chapel but I think of that word as being sort of non-denominational (Jews have chapels) and descriptive of the size/feel of the space.
@Mouse: Thanks - that was kinda my thought. That if it was very subtle and matched the sort of rustic feel, it might go unnoticed? It's just so BIG! :-P
@RecessionistaBride: I would definitely feel uncomfortable getting married in a church but I'm not particurally observant and this really seems more of a historic landmark to me. I don't know. It's just so beautiful! :)
@Kate: I'm not sure! I was sorta thinking a screen done in natural fibers?
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If you love it, go for it-- especially since it's not used as a functioning church. If you pull it off correctly, no one even has to know a cross is there. What they don't know won't hurt 'em, right? I really hope you can figure out a way to cover up that massive cross! It is a beautiful location.
I'm going to have to agree with most of the guests on the thread and say that it might not be the best venue for you. While it's not currently being used as a church, it still has that history and unfortunately, history is something that deserves to be respected. So while you COULD somehow hide it (which brings up an entire different set of issues since you probably can't drill holes in the wall and that thing is HUGE!), it would probably be costly and not worth it. I suppose you could set up a screen and show pictures on the back but your chuppa would be in the way of that. So yeah, finding a different venue would probably be the most respectful thing to do.
As a Christian, I would be offended if a cross was purposfully covered up in a chapel - even if it is not currently used in that capactiy.
If you are set on this place, here is my suggestion: arrange the chairs around the room with the center being open.. kind of a wedding in the round! You can put your chuppah there in the middle and no one will even notice the cross on the one wall since they will all be facing towards the middle of the room and you and your future husband.
I know you're not a practicing Jew but even still I think the symbolism of the covering up the cross just doesn't sit right. I do think some of your guests might be offended but even if you leave that issue for a minute it seems a little bit sacrilege to throw a screen or curtain up and pretend nothing is there.
Especially with the shape of the windows around it, people will for sure know what is there, IMO. I think covering it might make it stick out more, depending on how you do it.
It is a beautiful building and you can tell the people that built it did so in order to honor Jesus and obviously intended the cross to be the focus of the structure. I don't think I would want to get married in a building where I was knowingly doing something the creators of the building probably wouldn't love by covering up the cross. You might think I am taking it too far but...that's just me.
I think it is really commendable you considered that this might not be the best idea. If it were me, I would check out some other venues in the area where there are no huge crosses to contend with.
Good luck and let us know what you decide!
I can't speak to the offensive part of this thread since I am Jewish but I thought I would weigh in on the covering of the cross and share a few personal stories. When I was growing up I attended a HUGE Reform Temple in Texas. The congragation was so large they couldn't fit everyone in the main sancturary for the High Holy Days. They did rent the church across the street, covered the crosses and held the most holy of ceremonies inside a church with the crosses covered. Also, my parents were founding members of a small Temple and prior to purchasing a building the congretation rented a local church on Friday nights and also covered the crosses. Now in both these cases Christians were most likely not present but I hope sharing the story gives you another perspective. Will people attending the ceremony have visited the building and seen the cross prior to your wedding? If not, they most likely won't know the cross was there if it is covered up. If your heart is set on this venue you should persue your dream and make the space what you would like.
I totally don't see what the issue is with covering the cross in a chapel that is not used in any religious capacity? (btw I am a practicing Christian...) It's not like she's walking into the St. Paul's Cathedral & covering up the cross! In this case, its an unused building....
@meetnplnrgal- I hear thats done a lot actually!
I think this is all a matter of upbringing and personal taste. I am Christian and I would definately NOT be offended at all by covering up the cross.
I'm not religious myself but I can definitely see how it would be highly offensive to Christians in attendance, even though the building is not currently used as a church. If you try to hide the cross with a draping of any kind, it only adds attention to it.
If you still want to use the venue, is it possible to turn the chairs around so they are facing the other direction? Would that work with what you said that as a Jew, you aren't allowed to marry under a cross? If it's in the back of the room, you technically wouldn't be marrying underneath it. From the picture, it looks like there is a entrance at the usual altar area, so could that be used where your guests enter?
I'll admit, the idea of covering up the cross is just wrong to me. The Cross is The Cross is The Cross, whether or not it's in a "real" chapel. It doesn't matter if it's located in a church or a park or an office building, location doesn't make it any less a powerful symbol for Christians.
It wouldn't sit right for you to get married under a cross, and it wouldn't sit right for a lot of other people to see it covered up. There are other pretty venues out there. Why not just keep looking?
Besides, when the cross is that size and built into the wall, you're going to have a heck of a time trying to cover it up!
i would talk to the people who run the location currently, ask them if it is okay to cover that area with drappery/flowers etc, ask if it has been done before, simply explain your reasons and they may understand.
i am a christian and its something i would shrug off upon finding out you are jewish that is your choice to cover it and decorate the chapel in a different way that best suits you. most probably wont even know it was there.
suggestions... can you get tall pillars, 4 or 5 of them to put across as a background, and set flowers ontop in pots or something, then maybe do a fabric dappery across the very top as wellgoing from the left to the right side so that some fabric hangs down the walls on both sides, and in the middle it just drappes to cover a little.
I really don't see a problem (other than logistics). It is not currently being used as a church. If the people who own the building are okay with you covering it, I really don't see why anyone in attendance would care. I'm Christian and I believe that everyone has a right to practice their own religion, I would not be offended.
That being said, it's REALLY big and I think that it might be hard to cover it in an asthetically pleasing way. Honestly I feel like if you had a big/tall huppah (sp?) and had the lighting focused on that, people might not even notice what is on the back wall.
If it's a public space, then I don't see why there should be any bureaucratic issue with you covering the cross -- provided there's a logistical way to do it. Regardless of the history, it's no longer a religiously affiliated building. Of course, the preservation society may have rules about what you can and can't do as far as decorations, and you'd have to find that out before making decisions. But you know your guests, and only you and your FI can determine whether any of them would be upset (if they even knew) about the cross being covered up. Assuming the preservation society okays it, I'd make the decision based on what you know of your families, friends, etc. and less on what random people on a message board say.
I think your biggest problem will be the logistics. As far as offending people, its different in dicussion of theory than in reality. In theory when I first read this, I was thinking I'd be a little offended. But then I realized that I've been in small towns where the church is used for jewish ceremonies and they cover the crosses and no one thought twice about it. Crosses aren't jewish so of course they were covered. In a discussion I think you'll find many people might say they'd be offended, but in reality I really do think your biggest problem is logistics. Though I like the suggestion of moving the chairs to the round so you dont have to worry about covering.
I am on the side of saying no to covering up the cross. I find it slightly offensive.
Is there any other vendor you could look into that doesn't require you to cover up something. I understand that its not an active chapel, yet its historical value was as a chapel and thus the cross stands.
I think that if it's a good location for your ceremony, then go ahead and cover up the cross! I have absolutely no idea how you would go about covering it, but I really don't think it will be a big deal. Maybe some type of curtain held up with a tension rod? I highly doubt you'll be able to nail/drill into the walls. Good luck!
I'm Jewish, and although not religious, I'd personally have issues with it since it stands for something I don't believe in, covered or not, it's still in the room of an truly intimate ceremony.
That said I've seen churches converted into synogogues and the other way around. If you cover it entirely and it doesn't bother you, who would know there was a cross there? If you don't share the information with your guests would they know? My guess is no, so how could it offend them? If you are truly fine with it, then no worries.
I'm a Christian, and while I don't think I would be especially offended if you covered the cross (afterall, if I were your friend, I would obvisouly understand where your beliefs lay), but from a visual standpoint, it seems like anything that would be big enough to cover that huge cross would also be big enough to be a distraction on its own... it IS huge!
Did you have any ideas for how to cover it?
hmm i think if you take it down an imprint of a cross would still be there. i am not particularly religious but i believe in karma, etc and think it's slightly bad karma to cover or remove it? but i believe that with all religious icons (I'VE BEEN LIVING IN LOUISIANA TOO LONG!!) However the designer in me says that you can definitely get some fabric and cover it that way, are you marrying under a chuppah? if so you may be able to use the same material to cover it.
On the other hand are you allowed to affix anything to the walls to cover it? usually historic or preservation venues frown upon that. Would it be planters with a bunch of tall reeds coming from the top? If so I think it can be done but it may be cost prohibitive to do it?
Hmm what if your chuppah started at the height of it and draped down the back of it to completely cover it without touching it, that's not neccessarily hiding it, it's just using a great beautiful cool chuppah?!! something like this tall enough to cover it completely
you could also use something like a banner with your monogram on the back to look something like this but in a MUCH LARGER frame
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I agree that if no one knows it was covered and it was subtle that no one will know any different and therefore will not be offended!
I would cover the cross by hanging a large curtain rod over it and then adding a big wide drape that goes all the way down.
It would be great if you could get a fabulous color.
The places that rent the outdoor tents and banners might be able to rent something to you and put the whole thing up.
Good luck!
Even as a Christian, I would not find this offensive. Why? because YOU, my dear, are not Christian, and I am sensitive to the fact that you don't want a ginormous symbol of another religion at YOUR wedding. And as a friend or family member in attendance, I'd totally get that. Would your non-jewish friends find your wedding offensive? No. I think none of your guests will know if you cover it up, and if *they* are offended, maybe they shouldn't go to your wedding because by respecting the "covering up of it" (which is different IMO from removal of it...i doubt you want pics with a giant christian cross in your background) they are respecting the fact that you are NOT christian! Your wedding must reflect you and if your venue has something that can be covered up, I just don't see the big deal since it's not like it's a church or anything and if you love it, you love it. Plus if you're jewish, you'll have jewish guests...i'm guessing they wouldn't think it was right either?
How about a banner/sheet that has your names/wedding dates on it? That is the only thing I can think of. Just like the chuppahs mentioned above. While you can't drill into the walls i'm sure, those posts sure like they could have something lightweight hung from them. If not,have your chuppah, and in the background have a big screen put up. Maybe that displays a nice slideshow of you and your FI while guests are waiting. Then, they SEE the slideshow (probably don't know what it's covering up) but then it obviously has a major purpose! To show pics of you! I thijk that's sweet but probably expensive to get a projector.
Will your guests even know there used to be a cross there? Even if they are offended, they';ll probably just say, "0h, but she's jewish" and thatll be enough of an explanation.
I just have to add that I have been to wedding in a former Christian chapel (I'm not sure of the exact affiliation) that is used for non-denominational and non-religious ceremonies. They have a huge (and beautiful!) stained glass window of Jesus that is directly over the altar area, and, on their website, they state that it can be "easily and tastefully covered with its built in screen" by request of anyone using the space.
So (and I know this is an old thread), I say that if it can be done tastefully and elegantly, that it's OK to cover the cross up. I don't think many people will go peeking behind whatever you use during the ceremony, and if any of your guests know that it is there and covered, I think they should respect your religious beliefs (or lack there of).
I don't see any issue with covering the cross either. Go ahead and do it.It's a gorgeous building, btw.
I love the idea of great panels of fabric. You could do big romantic flowy swathes or you could do structured panels. It could be really lovely.
On the other hand, the cross is quite subtle. If you thought that swathes of fabric would ruin the aesthetic of that wall, you could just redirect the eyes of the guests elsewhere. Are you planning to have a chuppah?It could be really cool if you placed tons of candles and big flowers on the ground at the platform in a kind of gothic cathedral sort of way. That way guests' eyes would be drawn down and away from the giant cross. The contrast between the austere chapel and all the dramatic candles and things could be gorgeous.
Also, the cross only means something if you accord meaning to it. Ignore it or cover it up--it's just a cross.
Oh, you're right. This is an old thread! The OP has moved on with her life. Ah well.
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Hi there!
I have a question regarding a ceremony venue I found. It's a small chapel currently operated by a non-profit preservation society. Originally, it was an Episcopalian church. It's beautiful, in a historical part of town and within walking distance to a reception venue I like. It's also pretty inexpensive. Here's the problem:
I'm Jewish (non-observant) and can't be married under a giant cross. It just wouldn't be the right thing for me.
The cross looks beautiful and rustic, and I'm sure if I were Christian, it would be fine buuuut..... Would it be offensive to anyone to cover it? This building is not currently used in a religious capacity. But I would never want to do something that might offend any guests.
Additionally, if the consensus is that it's not offensive - any ideas on how to go about doing that?
Thanks for any thoughts!
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