Post # 1
I have a question regarding a ceremony venue I found. It’s a small chapel currently operated by a non-profit preservation society. Originally, it was an Episcopalian church. It’s beautiful, in a historical part of town and within walking distance to a reception venue I like. It’s also pretty inexpensive. Here’s the problem:
I’m Jewish (non-observant) and can’t be married under a giant cross. It just wouldn’t be the right thing for me.
The cross looks beautiful and rustic, and I’m sure if I were Christian, it would be fine buuuut….. Would it be offensive to anyone to cover it? This building is not currently used in a religious capacity. But I would never want to do something that might offend any guests.
Additionally, if the consensus is that it’s not offensive – any ideas on how to go about doing that?
Thanks for any thoughts!
Post # 3
I believe it would be very offensive to Christians.
If you do not want to have a cross in your ceremony, then do not get married in a church– even if it is currently not in use as a religious place of worship.
The cross in that chapel is not a decoration.
Post # 4
Would covering the cross in this church be offensive? You betcha! Don’t get married there.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
I can’t speak for Christians, but personally I wouldn’t be offended by covering up the cross. Would any of your guests even know that the cross was covered up? I think if you do it in a subtle way it would be fine.
Post # 6
I don’t think it would be offensive, especially if the chapel is not used specifically for Christian purposes. At first I was taken aback by your post & was like "how could she cover the cross" but then I really thought about it… it would only be offensive if this chapel were used on a regular basis in a religious capacity. If there were members or a priest then it would be a slap in the face.
Please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m really just curious! My ex-bf is Jewish & he wouldn’t step foot in my church. Regardless of the cross, doesn’t it feel odd getting married in a chapel? Will other Jewish guests feel uncomfortable?
As for covering it, thats such a difficult task! I imagine you’ll have a huppah– so that will act as the focal point. You need a covering that won’t take away from that! Eeek! Sorry I can’t be more help. That cross is SO large. I hope you figure something out 🙂
Post # 7
Why would you want to get married in a chapel? I’m not sure how I feel about it honestly, but how in the world would you cover it? Its huge!
Post # 8
Is the church still operational? If so, I sincerely doubt they’d allow you to cover it. And yes, you risk seriously offending your Christian guests.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for your comments…
I do want to emphasize that the building is no longer a church but a preservation hall. It was moved from its original location to a beautiful public park to be used as a public hall. So again, it is NOT a church. I guess I messed up in referring to it as a chapel but I think of that word as being sort of non-denominational (Jews have chapels) and descriptive of the size/feel of the space.
@Mouse: Thanks – that was kinda my thought. That if it was very subtle and matched the sort of rustic feel, it might go unnoticed? It’s just so BIG! 😛
@RecessionistaBride: I would definitely feel uncomfortable getting married in a church but I’m not particurally observant and this really seems more of a historic landmark to me. I don’t know. It’s just so beautiful! 🙂
@Kate: I’m not sure! I was sorta thinking a screen done in natural fibers?
Post # 10
If you love it, go for it– especially since it’s not used as a functioning church. If you pull it off correctly, no one even has to know a cross is there. What they don’t know won’t hurt ’em, right? I really hope you can figure out a way to cover up that massive cross! It is a beautiful location.
Post # 11
I’m going to have to agree with most of the guests on the thread and say that it might not be the best venue for you. While it’s not currently being used as a church, it still has that history and unfortunately, history is something that deserves to be respected. So while you COULD somehow hide it (which brings up an entire different set of issues since you probably can’t drill holes in the wall and that thing is HUGE!), it would probably be costly and not worth it. I suppose you could set up a screen and show pictures on the back but your chuppa would be in the way of that. So yeah, finding a different venue would probably be the most respectful thing to do.
Post # 12
As a Christian, I would be offended if a cross was purposfully covered up in a chapel – even if it is not currently used in that capactiy.
If you are set on this place, here is my suggestion: arrange the chairs around the room with the center being open.. kind of a wedding in the round! You can put your chuppah there in the middle and no one will even notice the cross on the one wall since they will all be facing towards the middle of the room and you and your future husband.
Post # 13
I know you’re not a practicing Jew but even still I think the symbolism of the covering up the cross just doesn’t sit right. I do think some of your guests might be offended but even if you leave that issue for a minute it seems a little bit sacrilege to throw a screen or curtain up and pretend nothing is there.
Especially with the shape of the windows around it, people will for sure know what is there, IMO. I think covering it might make it stick out more, depending on how you do it.
It is a beautiful building and you can tell the people that built it did so in order to honor Jesus and obviously intended the cross to be the focus of the structure. I don’t think I would want to get married in a building where I was knowingly doing something the creators of the building probably wouldn’t love by covering up the cross. You might think I am taking it too far but…that’s just me.
I think it is really commendable you considered that this might not be the best idea. If it were me, I would check out some other venues in the area where there are no huge crosses to contend with.
Good luck and let us know what you decide!
Post # 14
I can’t speak to the offensive part of this thread since I am Jewish but I thought I would weigh in on the covering of the cross and share a few personal stories. When I was growing up I attended a HUGE Reform Temple in Texas. The congragation was so large they couldn’t fit everyone in the main sancturary for the High Holy Days. They did rent the church across the street, covered the crosses and held the most holy of ceremonies inside a church with the crosses covered. Also, my parents were founding members of a small Temple and prior to purchasing a building the congretation rented a local church on Friday nights and also covered the crosses. Now in both these cases Christians were most likely not present but I hope sharing the story gives you another perspective. Will people attending the ceremony have visited the building and seen the cross prior to your wedding? If not, they most likely won’t know the cross was there if it is covered up. If your heart is set on this venue you should persue your dream and make the space what you would like.
Post # 15
I totally don’t see what the issue is with covering the cross in a chapel that is not used in any religious capacity? (btw I am a practicing Christian…) It’s not like she’s walking into the St. Paul’s Cathedral & covering up the cross! In this case, its an unused building….
@meetnplnrgal- I hear thats done a lot actually!
Post # 16
I think this is all a matter of upbringing and personal taste. I am Christian and I would definately NOT be offended at all by covering up the cross.