Post # 1
My DH and I will be attending a very budget friendly and casual wedding in a few months where they aren’t serving dinner at their 5:00 pm reception (just snacks, beer) which is totally fine however we were shocked to discover that the registry is only filled with very high priced items. In fact nothing was less than $45.00 with most items around the $75.00-$125.00 range. Of course they had the ridiculously overpriced items as well which they say you might as well include…but they have MANY over priced items in the $600.00 to $800.00 range. They have three stores they registered at plus a honeymoon registry and again all pretty expensive. My MIL said that she always believed that the expense of the items should be in correlation with the wedding itself.
Curious what your thoughts are when it comes to the registry in comparison to the wedding. Should the registry take into consideration the wedding/budget itself? The formality? The cost?
(Side note…this couple bought us two beach towels from BBB totaling $15.00 for our wedding).
Post # 3
I would side-eye that. Everyone has their big-ticket dream items on the registry, but if you’re serving snacks on an off-meal time, I don’t think you should expect people to buy you super expensive gifts.
In general, no matter the wedding price point, it is a good idea to have lots of items in all price ranges on the registry, so people have a lot to choose from.
Post # 4
People can register for what they want, that doesnt mean they’ll get it. Honestly, I don’t look at a wedding/registry ratio where I ballast the estimated budget against what they’re asking for, because unless you were rather close to the couple, how would you know anyway?
Plus, that is a lot of math…and I don’t like doing math, unless I’m getting paid to do it….that being said, when I go onto a couple’s registry and see they’ve suffered from an identity crisis and are behaving as if they’re the Astors…well, that’s when I buy “The Equalizer” – salt and pepper shakers…congratulations, all the happiness in the world.
Post # 5
@Treejewel19: Give them the $15 🙂
Post # 6
I don’t think the registry cost needs to be in direct relation to the wedding cost, but I do believe it needs to be rooted in reality. If it’s a young couple just starting a household, I’d expect to see plenty of $75-200 appliances and housewares on the registry; it is, after all, what they most need. I wouldn’t think twice on that registry even if they were doing a cake-and-punch reception.
I think having more than one or two “dream” big ticket-items on a registry is in overall poor taste, and reminds me of a bride I knew whose family had the tradition of the parents buying every single unpurchased gift after the wedding; she had about 18 pages of registry and a lot of high-end items, and looked pretty grabby.
Post # 7
@Nona99: LOL Salt and Pepper shakers! I wish!!! I got them a gift card in the amount I was comfortable giving.
I do know their budget because we discussed it while she was planning and asking me for ideas. Needless to say I’m not sharing those details with others.
Post # 8
They can register for whatever they want, but I sure wouldn’t be shopipng off the registry. I’d just give them $50. I’d say $25, if I were to go off of their gifting standard, but I’d feel too cheap.
Post # 9
Absolutely it should, mind you it could be more if perhaps they have customs where family tend to provide gifts of greater value. Otherwise, IMO, it looks like they are trying to make the wedding a lucrative thing for them which should never be the case. Although I don’t expect any gifts I would put very very very few items which are worth more than 1.5-2x what I am spending on their meals! Of course its always best to put a wide range of pricing options with those on the higher end bein far fewer in quantity!
Post # 10
Frankly, I think that registry makeup would be tacky regardless of the wedding budget (and even more so given the circumstances). It is just common sense to have a range of price points available. Ugh.
@futuremrsfitz18: LOL, side eye was the first thing that popped into my mind when I was reading that. Glad I’m not alone 🙂
Post # 11
My total wedding budget was fairly low ($10k-ish), but we only invited 40 people, so per person, we spent a decent amount. Our registry items were priced from $6 to $200. Both of those were purchased. 🙂
I think sometimes couples, especially young ones with no real concept of the reality of what things cost and what it’s like to pay bills and budget for things like wedding gifts, etc, get carried away with the scanner everywhere they go. I don’t fault them for that – they encourage you! I mean, sure – I’d LOVE a set of All-Clad pots and pans. But… I already have a set of Emeril ones that work just fine – I can’t ask anyone to buy me something I wouldn’t buy myself. But that’s a sensibility you develop with time and going broke at sevel dozen other people’s weddings.
Anyway – I’d get them a giftcard to a place they registered. I dislike giving cash gifts, but if they give you no choice, really, either go in with someone else on a larger purchase or “let them pick it out.”
Post # 12
@Treejewel19: I think it varies person by person, I wouldn’t consider $75-$150 to be a high end registry personally. I think everyone should have a range of prices on their registry to accommodate people who can’t afford a $100+ gift. However, a registry is recommendations, not requirements. You can get a gift card to the store, a gift not on the registry or just give a check.
Personally, I give a standard $200-$300 for wedding regardless of “type” of wedding (though I haven’t been to a super casual or low budget one yet but don’t think that would affect how much I give – in fact it would probably lead me to give a bigger gift).
I also don’t keep score cards with what others have given. I would give $200-300 to someone that gave me nothing at all.
Post # 13
@almostmrsj: I agree with the statement about young couples getting carried away and not understanding what’s reasonable. If you don’t have to pay bills or even spend your own money on other people, you have no concept of what’s realistic. A certain blood relative of mine put a $550 blender on their registry and I’m sure most of my family is going to be shocked. This couple doesn’t pay for any of their own bills, so they don’t know what’s reasonable.
I’d say go with a gift card of whatever amount you feel comfortable with. If nothing on their registry is within your budget, then don’t buy anything. The couple should understand and be grateful for any gifts they receive.
Post # 14
@MrsWBS: To clarify I consider that amount to be a high end registry for THIS couple and our relationship with them taking into account that they have a large amount of items over $600.00 in price. Does that make sense?
Post # 15
I don’t think the wedding budget has to ‘match’ the registry but I do think that a budget-aware couple would be more thoughtful in compiling a list that covers everything from $20 up to allow for everyone to buy them something they need within their price range.
Honestly, I side-eye any couple that has lots of ‘big’ items on their registry. Especially if they’re well-established and have a lot of similar items themselves anyway. My 36 year old, professional cousin put some big ticket items like a $3000 flat screen on his registry and everyone baulked because we all knew he put it on the registry because he was too cheap to buy it himself. That’s tacky.
I don’t have a problem with people putting som bigger ticket items on their registry but there is a line – especially if many, many of the items are super expensive. When it is a couple of big items I kind of assume that they’re expecting that people might like to club together for a gift but when many of the items are super expensive I feel like they’re just being grabby.
Post # 16
@MrsHRC: That’s a great way of putting it.