Post # 1
Ok. So, a few months ago my FI and I sat on our couch when that all fimiliar facebook messanger dinged on the laptop. It was his ex-girlfriend from high school (mind you, over 20 years ago) and they began talking about their lifes currently today. (I saw this whole conversation) neither of them live in their home state anymore, nor do we live in the same state as her. She talked about how she is married, her and her husband have three kids so on and so fourth. He talked about me, his kids, his job the normal things you talk about when you are “catching up” with someone.
Fast forward, the conversation ended and a few days later out of the blue she messages him again
…This time saying how shes always loved him, wants to leave her husband for him, (mind you her husbands a pastor at a church) how he is to controlling so on and so fourth. Well, he tells her how insane it is, how the feelings are not mutural so on and so foirth. She said sorry, we figured that was the end of it…
Nope. She keeps going, shes dreaming of him, pictures him in her husbands place the works. He tells her she has to stop, and they can no longer talk. Well, now she goes on to say she will kill herself if he stops talking to her and has called numerous times with ‘a gun to her head”. She emails, messages, texts and calls almost daily about how much she needs him, or how in love she is, how she fantasizes about him, the things she would do to him. If he ignores it the threats roll in.
I dont know what to do, he dosnt know what to do but it is driving me bat crap crazy!
Post # 3
[content moderated for trolling]
Post # 4
@Djacks88: I’d contact the husband! WOW I am soo sorry you are dealing with this. HUGS! I don’t even know what to say other then I am so sorry.
Post # 5
Can’t you report her for harassment? That might be best because then she can get some help for the suicidal tendencies.
Post # 6
@Djacks88: WOW. That’s the most ridiculous situation I’ve ever heard of. That’s rough.
Has he considered calling the local authorities in her State? He should at least report it to someone and consider getting a restraining order on her. Things like this escalate extremely quickly and can get very dangerous very fast. The last thing you want is her on your front porch with weapons.
Edited for spelling mistake
Post # 7
Why didn’t your husband block on her fb the moment it turned sour? How did she get the phone number? email address etc? Just seems strange that after 20 years she pops up but has your phone number and email. she’s a major stalker and I’d prob call a police precinct to get advise.
Post # 8
@crazylady: yea I know but at least it can be “documented” in case she really loses her marbles.
Post # 9
I think one of you should contact her family (not necessarily the husband) to let them know she is making suicidal statements. She may legitimately be suicidal, and simply blocking her could be dangerous for her. Block her after contacting someone.
ETA: Just saw that some of her messages state she literally has a gun held to her head. In that case, notifying her local police could result in a 72 hour hold and evaluation.
Post # 10
If she is legitimately suicidal can’t they do a 5150 hold? Either way you can call the appropriate authorities and if she is not taken away she will atleast leave you alone because you called her bluff.
Post # 11
@Djacks88: forward all the chats, pics etc to her husband every single time she sends something – I guarantee she will stop.
Post # 12
Wow I’m so sorry you are going through this. I am not a law enforcement professional but took classes in grad school on stalking & this kind of behavior. My advice is
1) block her every way possible immediately
2) do not respond to her directly if she manages to get through the blocking (but make sure to record her contact in a notebook in case you need to get a restraining order later)
3) forward her suicide threats to her local police department and let them deal with it (if they come out and do enough welfare checks without your husband responding, she’ll likely get sick of it. Plus if she’s serious about the suicide you are helping save her iife)
4) if that doesn’t work, restraining order
Post # 13
Call 911. They’ll lock that crazy bitch in the psych ward for up to 3 days. Then she will get the help that she desperately needs. The cops won’t do much but the hospital will for sure. After she gets put there, there will be a police record. Best of luck to you both.
Post # 14
The worldnof facebook have his email and phone number. We are not even sure where exactly she lives. Just know its in Atlanta.
Post # 15
He should call the local authorities in her state. He needs to report it to someone. Sorry this is happening to you guys.
Post # 16
The police will get involved, not because of the harassment, but because of the threat of ‘violence to themselves or others’. She may be having a breakdown. She may not have done anything like this in in those 20 years. This may not at all be typical on her part.
This is a cry for help, not a simple case of some random woman who can’t take the hint. I’m not saying this is at all a comfortable situation for yourself or your partner, but it is important to find the appropriate authorities to contact in addition to blocking her.
If she’s having extreme thoughts, please keep in mind there are children in the home as well. We have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. She needs help and her children deserve for the adults around her to do something.
ETA: Just saw you mention you’re not sure where she lives, exactly. This does make things tricky. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. I’d be stuck for an answer in your shoes too.