Post # 1
Future husband has an overaly nice aunt. “Aunt Velma” owns a florist/gift shop in a nearby town.
She has no kids and considers my fiance “to be her only son”. The entire family dynamic between him and his aunt/uncle is over the top. They treat him like a child of their own, even with both his parents still alive and married to each other.
Recently at a funeral for his grandmother, “Aunt Velma” was introducing me as her future daughter-in-law. She kept telling everyone that she hopes we make her a grandmother soon.
I realize she and her husband may not or chose not to have children…but this is getting both odd and uncomfortable.
In addition she has now offered to do all our flowers as a gift. I know she will go over the top, and I actually prefer simple yet sophisticated.
Should I accept the gift?
My mom advised to refuse in a polite manneer and tell her that I have already chosen a florist.
My fiance advised that she will be devistated if we dont let her do the flowers.
Thoughts and advice appreciated….
Post # 3
I’d suggest picking your own florist. Best to keep family and friends separate from vendors – no matter how well intentioned family/friends are.
Post # 4
I agree with PP. Mixing family/friends with business is a no-no in my book. It’s just too difficult with family dynamics to get what you want without stepping on toes.
Post # 5
@NurseShannon: When she said ‘do your flowers’ is it possible she meant she would like to pay for your wedding flowers? I think either way, saying you’ve already found a florist is probably the most delicate way to handle it.
Post # 6
@NurseShannon: Be careful about lying, she might ask who your florist is. I’d try for a more vague, “My mother and I already have our own plans for the flowers”.
Is there another event she can do flowers for? e.g. the bridal shower?
Post # 7
Lieing always bites you in the bum. I’d be honest, say you don’t want to mix family and vendors.
At the same time…. flowers are super expensive and she could be totally amazing! it
Instead of doing all the flowers, maybe she can do the bouts or the BM bouquets or something small?
Post # 8
I totally think it would be nice if you had her do something on a smaller scale. That way you still get what you want and she feels like she is doing something
Post # 9
I dunno . This is tough . How does your FI feel about her? I LOVE my Niece just so much and we are tied at the hip. She’s only 2 but I hope to always be so close to her. I would never call her FI my future son in law or say make me grand babies bc I’m her AUNT but a close relationship is not a bad Thing , least IMO.
If your FI feels very close to her and his mother is ok w the relationship i would let FI guide this one making sure he knows how hard it will be for aunt to be a part of wedding while also a vendor .
Post # 10
Well it ALL worked out…before I could tell her. His “Aunt Velma” told me she had “overextended” herself and asked if she could do the flowers for the rehersal dinner and a bridal shower!!
I smiled and told her that would be great…LOL