(Closed) his best friend proposed

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Not in the situation, but that sucks ((HUGS)) everything will be fine and your wedding will be beautiful!!!

Post # 4
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry.   I feel for you. 

Post # 5
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I’m sorry, that sucks! At least you went and were able to somewhat enjoy yourself, you’re a better woman than I…when FH’s best friend proposed to his gf last october, I was so green I refused to go to their engagement celebration! I didn’t want to get in a fight with then-bf and ruin the night for the couple, so I just said I had to babysit too late to make it…So be proud of yourself for going! Hopefully your turn will come soon enough and don’t worry about the date yet, 2011 is so far away ,the other couple might end up switching or you might end up changing anyways…

Post # 6
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

wow that really sucks, so sorry! I am not dealing with anything so concrete, but right after my bf started ring shopping my only brother proposed to his gf and set the date for aug 2010 (in my head i was thinking we’d do it sept 2010).

 

life happens 🙁

Post # 7
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

I had a friend get engaged a year before we got engaged.  For 11 months of it, they had no idea when they wanted to get married.  I finally told her we were thinking Memorial day weekend (a few months before he popped the question, we started talking marriage) and she told me we could have it “IF” she didn’t take it first.  I was very hurt that she would tell me when we could have our wedding (we would be the only guests at both, we do not share many mutual friends) when she hadn’t been planning anything for months.  She also would rub it in my face that we weren’t engaged yet (when my FI was still saving money for the ring, so it was common knowledge that the day was coming).

I definitely know what the ring envy feels like hun! Hopefully his BF will give him the kick in the pants that he needs 🙂

Post # 8
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

I am sorry about your wedding date that really sucks. I went through a pretty intense period of jelousy when my best friend got engaged and then the year leading up to the wedding was hard. I wanted to be there since we have been best friends for the last 17 years.

My solution was to remind myself that I didn’t want her boy, her home, her job, or her ring. I loved my guy, my home, my career plans (I don’t work – I am going back to school), and I know that my ring will be what I want and mine. She was really great about it because she knows me well enough to know it was going to be hard since she was only with her guy a year and half while I was with mine for 5 years when she got engaged.

Her mother on the other hand was miserable and gave me a really hard time about it each time I saw her. My entire life her mother has had some sort of score system going on between us and this was like her crowning jewel and she wanted me to freak out I swear. To deal with those lovelys (because there is always one) just remind yourself that they don’t know about you and your relationship and if you allow them to bait you then your reaction and/or behavior will forever be a taint on part of the engagement and wedding memories and would you really want that for yourself or any other bride to be.

Oh and it could be worse… A friend of mine was planning on naming her first son after her husband when her younger and not in a relationship half sister got pregnant and decided to name her son the same name even though she knew that was her sisters plan and that she herself knew no one other than her new brother in law by that name. She announced her intentions at the bacholerette party and sent the bride to be into a complete sprial. Thank god the prego sister had to go home and we were able to calm the poor girl down.

Post # 9
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yeah, we had been together for almost four years and still no ring when his best friend popped the question to a chick he’d been dating for like 5 months. I got pissed. I was like WTH to my man. I know it’s not right to compare but I couldn’t help it. Especially should not be comparing myself to a couple of inexperienced people who are obviously just in a hurry to get married. (Not based on how quickly he proposed but based on the couple themselves.) I got over it and my man proposed a few months later, right after our 4 year anniversary. Now we’ll be married right before our 5 year anniversary (In about a month.)

In hindsight.. I feel really silly for getting upset because different couples have different timing, but I can’t blame myself for being a little jealous!

Post # 10
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Aw there’s no way around it; that sucks.

Have you expressed how you feel about it to your man? As sad as you are (and have every right to be), he might feel just as stressed out about it too. Now the pressure is really on him to ask you!

Post # 11
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’ve been there too. All my best friends are married now. The worst case of engagment jealousy was when my bff got engaged after only knowing her man for 3 months. I thought she was joking when she told me, then she flashed the ring. Now they’ve been married for a year and I’m still without a ring. And even now I’m still green my mom is about to get engaged to a guy she has only known for 4 months… read my recently uploaded vent.

But what gets me by, is knowing that I have a man that loves being with me no matter what, with or without a ring. And that he daydreams about what kind of house we will live in and what our kids will look like.Our time will come and when it does it won’t be rushed the timing will be perfect!

Post # 12
Member
815 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry, that stinks.  One of his best friends proposed to his wife just a few months after they started dating.  It was tough because they started dating right around the time we did.  The only thing I could do was to try and remind myself that everyone is different, and what works for them doesn’t necessarily work for us, no matter how much I think it does. 

I hope that helps, and more importantly, I hope he proposes soon!!

Post # 13
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

That’s really hard. Last summer a bunch of people we know got engaged and I just felt so… unwanted? These other guys could decide to ask the women in their lives to be with them forever, but mine can’t? 

The good news is people getting engaged around you makes your b/f think about engagement just as much as it does for you. He’s probably a little jealous too.

Post # 14
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

aww, [hugs]. i’ve been there with a friend of mine who was dating her long distance boyfriend for less than a year got engaged. of course i was upset that they got their stuff together to figure out who’s moving where but i didn’t let that damper my happiness for her. i’m sure she would have been just as excited if it were me, you know?

but just put out the good vibes though and remind yourself that you’re not marrying her guy but yours. i’m sure with his friends coupling up like that will get him thinking about it! your engagement is on it’s way! you can always come here to vent. i find it very relieving. hehe.

Post # 15
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry that happened to you, but on the bright side the fact that you had a date in mind probably means the engagement is right around the corner!  As far as the wedding date, it sucks that they would be a week apart, but do you necessarily HAVE to change your date?

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