Post # 1
So, fiancée and I have decided a 2012 wedding. But so has his already-married brother and wife (dated for a month then went to courthouse). In setting a solid date, should we talk about it with them so there’s no conflict? my fiancée’s family would be traveling twice in one year for their wedding in az and ours in fl. I want the two dates to be decently spaced so it’s not too much to ask of his family. Having a fl wedding, I would prefer it to be in the fall when its dry and cooler. Is that too much to bring up if we do talk about it with his brother? advice? I mean, it’s not too important at the moment since it’s two years off. but I don’t want either myself or sil to start planning only to realize later it overlaps the other’s date.
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to discuss it with your future siblings. I think that’s the best way to go about it. List whatever reasons you think are valid for having the wedding when you want and just see what they say. Maybe they won’t care as much when their wedding takes place. Good Luck
Post # 4
I’m just going to first throw it out there that they are not getting married since they are already married – even if it happened at a courthouse they are still married. That is a vow-renewal (regardless of what they call it). Okay, now that I’ve gotten that pet-peeve out lol…
Set your date and tell them when it is. Just say, “Hey we’ve set our date for October XX, 2012, have you guys set yours yet?” That way you get the date you want and they can decide from there. Good luck!
Post # 5
This is a little frustrating for you. I think it’s OK to discuss. (I would jsut have Fi talk to his brother.) But other than that what can you do? What if they start to plan for a wedding in April, but change their minds? What if they hate the idea of having a wedding before late Spring? (I don’t know -Arizona? I wouldn’t think they’d want the summer. But just playing devil’s advocate.) What if they want the fall too?
I think ultimately you have to do what is best for you, and hopefully they are easy to work with. For what it’s worth, if it came down to going to a wedding in FL or wedding in AZ, I’d choose the Fl wedding:)
Post # 6
I think it’s great that you’re thinking about this now and ready to work with your FBIL and his wife! You guys should definitely talk about it.
Post # 7
I have a similar situation. My husband and I are “renewing our vows” May 2011 since we had a very private courthouse wedding (just us two and the officiant) before he deployed to Iraq. My SIL has scheduled her wedding for October 2011. I think you should def. talk about it with the other siblings or if you feel uncomfortable you could have your FI talk about it with his brother. I was lucky and happen to be really close with my SIL and we both wanted different kinds of weddings- mine being a Spring wedding and hers a Fall. My only issue is that some of my husband’s and SIL’s family live in Seattle while we live in the Washington, D.C area. With the two weddings (opps I mean one wedding and one renewing of vows, sorry the previous post kind of stuck a cord with me) being 4 months apart I have told both my MIL and my SIL that if the family members can only afford to attend one event I would totally understand and would want them to go to my SIL’s wedding instead, especially since her wedding list is a fraction of mine. I have a huge Italian family and would actually prefer to cut down the wedding list if at all possible. Was it rude of me to bring this up with MIL and SIL?