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I thought that I was going to scream! So my BF and I were at his parent’s house the other night – and a few of his father’s co-workers were there - along with my BF’s sister, her new baby and her fiancé. He of course introduced them as “my daughter Emily and her family – Luke and Evan.” He then looks at us and laughs and says, “and this is my son and his, roommate.” I know that he was kidding – because everyone is wondering why we aren’t engaged yet – but seriously!! I wanted to cry…………………………….
I am so happy that I found this board – even though I don’t post frequently I do read it often and knowing that I am not the only one “waiting” and impatiently has helped !
It's okay. My beloved grandmother referred to FI as my "friend" for five years until we got engaged ;o)
Oh man. So sorry. I had to deal with a lot of stuff like that too, and I know you just feel like punching people in the face. Or giving them a good kick in the kneecap... 
Oh goodness. After dating my (then boyfriend, now fiance) for over a year, I was introduced at his graduation party as his friend. At least yours is a bit funny :)
Ugh! So sorry! I know how it feels because we went back to Maine for Christmas last year and FI's Great Aunt introduced me as "his...um...friend". We have been together for over 5 years!!!
haha my FMIL has introduced me twice as her son's best friend. I'm certain she meant no disrespect by it, she's just a bit old fashioned and all that jazz. His sisters had an intervention with her and told her to call me girlfriend. Now the fiancee thing removes all doubt!
oh dear.
a friend's grandma referred to my now fiance as "the little black boy" I was "dating." No lie. Thank GOD he has a sense of humor and chalked it up to intergenerational differences, and told me that she "meant nothing by it." Uh good because I think I'd be arrested if I socked a 80-something year old in the face -_-
Oh no - so sorry. I think it was aimed more at your guy though. Look at the bright side - sounds like his Dad's on Team boston_girl & thinks your guys should pop the Q. :)
LOL, at least he's joking. My mom used to introduce my bfs as "just a friend", and she meant it, too. She didn't want people to think we were more than friends.. She is a bit old school; she thinks dating = marriage material and she was denying that. It hurt but whatever. At least his dad was joking. :)
Totally feel you on this one!
It seems the trend is to be introduced as "friend"... I don't think we've gotten room/house mate yet.
BF and I have lightly flipped out on several parents, and his mom's reasoning was "well I don't know what to call you two"... I'm guessing maybe the parents feel "boyfriend"/"girlfriend" sounds too childish, or maybe not serious enough for being together for however long.
We like to make fun of it, "hi 'friend', how are you doing?"/"so, 'friend' how about that bang 3 nights ago?"/"hey 'friend', what do you want for dinner?"
A few days ago, he said that the security guard asked if I was his "friend", and he said yes. I made fun of it, of course "just your friend?" and he says "well fiance... once I save up enough money"
Sometimes I wonder if it has to do with us being an interracial couple, but whatever.
Boston Girl, I'm sorry! So frustrating. If it makes you feel any better, my FI and I bought a house together and were living in the house for 2 years before he proposed. During this time, my dad thought it was just SO funny to refer to him as my "real estate partner"!! It's funny now, but not so much at the time!
The worst is that it happens as such a suprise, you don't have the cojones to say something like, "After 5 years, I think we can call me girlfriend." Or something witty (I'm not witty,) like that.
This definitely sounds like a jab at your man and not you... sounds to me like his dad is telling him to get crackin with the ring :)
Mr. HCTS's mom calls all of her sons' girlfriends "friends" until we are actually married.
It makes us laugh, if nothing else.
My future SIL introduced me as her brothers GIRLFRIEND after we had been engaged for 4 months. I was furious to say the least! So I definitely know how it feels!
Atleast his dad was kidding about it! Sounds like he wants your bf to pop the question soon.
I have been with my fiance for almost 8 years, at his cousins wedding last year, his grandma didnt want me to be in the family picture because I was 'only a friend'. His cousin, the bride, almost died laughing and said I had to be in the picture because I have been around longer then her husband.
If you know he was joking, it's not a big deal, at least he wasn't being insulting!
DH was my "friend in SAvannah" while we lived together. Even though mom and dad encouraged us to live together, they were actually too embarassed to tell their friends. When I found out, i told them shame on them for being so 1950's, haha.
I have a crazy aunt who calls my FI by the wrong name intentionally. We dated for 3 years and have been engaged for a year.
I used to get offended by it but now I just laugh and when she is around I purposefully start calling him the wrong name just to point it out to everyone what she is doing.
I'm glad he was kidding! :)
My ex-boyfriend of FIVE years and I lived together, had a dog together... and his mom introduced me as his "friend" every single time she introduced me. Never even his girlfriend - just friend.
My grandmother still introduces my BF as "pec1216's friend" I hate that! Just because we aren't engaged yet doesn't mean you have to act like we're strangers!
I don't understand why they do that! I've gotten Friend before. I hate it. I want to yell at them and storm out, but you just laugh (if everybody else is) and smile, and then yell at him later for the reason you get refered that way!!!
My Grandmom still calls FH my friend and we are engaged! Haha, I don't know if his title will ever be upgraded. But I agree with Corgi, I think it was a jab at your BF and not you.
I will say though that FH and I have friends (a couple) who have been dating for longer than us, are older than us, live together, the girl wants to get engaged and talks about it all the time and he still won't pop the question. It makes us feel very uncomfortable around them the more time that goes by and they still aren't engaged. Here we are planning a wedding so of course people always ask us about it and we feel weird talking about it in front of them. Maybe your BF's Dad feels uncomfortable in a similar sense and therefore 'jokes' about it with your BF.
OMG this happens to us all the time! I wouldn't feel too bad about it. Our parents are from a different generation and I doubt they meant it to be an insult in any way.
Two weeks ago, my BF's parents were in town, and we were having dinner at his dad's friend's apartment. And a friend of his joined us a little late, and I was introduced as "and this is P's friend, Jaxx"... and I thought to myself, really?? After almost 4 years? And then about 2 hours later, everyone was deciding whether to leave or not, and since we had gotten a ride over with the BF's parents, my BF's dad was like, "Well I guess it depends on what the newlyweds want to do" and I was like "WTH?" It was sooo weird! Of course he had had a bit to drink at that point, so perhaps that was a freudian slip there. But I was so confused the rest of the night.
I agree with the other bees - I think it's probably a GET A MOVE ON sort of jab, as awkward and uncomfortable as it may feel.
Oh ho, I can beat this! R and I have been asked if we were brother and sister multiple times. We kind of look alike, but I maybe look a little younger, not to mention he's way taller. We've been in a serious relationship for a long time, and I don't think many people expected it out of people our age - we've been going on vacation together for years, etc. To make matters worse, his parents think of me as their other daughter, so his mom will sometimes ask me "well, what did your dad say about this?" meaning her husband.
I so can't wait to have to ring on my finger so I can just pointedly hold my hand out.
On the flip side, FBIL and I were asked if I was his new wife. I feel bad but my reaction what "what?! oh NO!"
On my mom's side (big Catholic family), they try to ignore stuff like co-habitation in favor of saying something they shouldn't. But I remember in high school, my one cousin brought the same guy to like four weddings in two years and he was her "friend" the whole time. Even at 15 I knew something was up. They are married with two kids in AZ now.
Maybe he wasn't taking a jab at you guys so much as trying to protect the possiblity that some of his co-workers might think poorly on co-habitation. I wouldn't take it personally. Most parents of adults in relationships don't know all the ins and outs of their kids relationships like they did when their kids were in school. And it could be an age thing... My step-mom called her best-friend's boyfriend her "beau" for years before they got married. My step-mom thought "boyfriend" was insulting to a 40-something.
And, Oh @lilyfaith, that's like when I take my baby brother out to dinner and the waitress gives him the bill. EVERYTIME!
The boys dad has called me by a male's name for the last 9 months. Before that he never called me by my name but like once. But his dad really likes me so im not worried about it...too much lol
Yeesh. I can never understand why people can't just say "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" or even "significant other"!
awww... I would be crying! Our family goes the opposite way, mistakingly calling me their daughter... and introducing BF as my fiance. Oh the confusion...
I'm sorry, Honey.
@lilyfaith-my FI's parents are the same way. It was so awkward the first time my FMIL asked me to call her mom. Most of the time I just call her Charlotte, but if I write an e-mail or something I feel more comfortalbe calling them mom or dad.
I think that what really bothered me is that his dad:
a) knows how badly I want to be engaged
b) has welcomed my BFs sister’s fiancé (okay – I realize they just had a baby and are now engaged) into the family way more than he has welcomed me – we have been together for over 3 years they haven’t even been together for a year and half - all he says now is "my future son in law"
c) I have done so much for his family (because I want to of course, but still) – BFs mom is sick – and he introduces me as the “roommate”
Argh.... that is frustrating,
I can totally relate to that as well. I have been with my FI for almost 9 years. we have lived together for just as long and we even bought a house together 2 years prior to our engagement. So it frustrated me no end that his brother's wife (they met 3 years ago got engaged 2 yrs ago and wed 1 year ago) had the nerve to welcome me to the family.
I guess I am different, but he was being rude. At least if it were me, I would have been insulted.
Just like my aunts call my boyfriend, my future husband and father of my children one day, my "friend". Ticks me off quite often.
simpleandchic- I hate to say this, but it's deserved here: Oh,no she didn't! The nerve of her when you've known them almost 3 times as long.
Ugh that sucks. My grandma still refers to my fiancee as my "friend" or "that man". It will be interesting to see how she interacts with him when they meet at Christmas for the first time. She's having a lot of trouble with the idea that he's not from the U.S.
Although he didn't mean it, I would have my boyfriend talk to him about it. Sometimes my bf parents says some things and I talk to by bf about it and he will tell them (explain to them that I'm not mad but it kinda bothered me).
MsMamaBear!
I totally agree with you. It was rude (I can be overly sensitive too 
) - I just mean I know that he wasn't trying to hurt my feelings intentionally.
People always think I'm the sister. We look nothing alike, so I can only assume they think one of us is out of the other's leage and dragging their homely sibling somewhere.
Or maybe it's just that there's five years' age difference (which at 20 and 25 seems like a big deal to everyone around us). Or maybe we actually do look alike, but my crazy self conscious side believes the first explanation.
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