(Closed) His family or yours for the holidays..

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Whos family for which holidays..
    Wifes family for Thanksgiving his for Christmas or vice versa : (28 votes)
    27 %
    Both with Wifes family or vices versa : (12 votes)
    11 %
    Both on all holidays.... : (65 votes)
    62 %
  • Post # 3
    1231 posts
    Bumble bee

    My fam for thanksgiving, his for christmas, switch next year. πŸ™‚

    We live close to both of our families so splitting time isn’t difficult for us if we wanted to do both for Christmas eve/day

    Post # 4
    466 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Not married yet, but we run into this problem…

    We try to split it evenly. It’s tiring, and I know we’re really lucky to have our families live in the metro-Chicago area, so it’s doable.

    My family does the “big” get together on Christmas Eve afternoon/night, so we spend that with my family… we then drive to FI’s parents house where we open the first “presents” (usually matching PJ’s). Christmas morning we spend the first part with MY mom and dad and brother where we do family presents and my mom makes a great breakfast. Then we jet over to FI’s parents (in our matching jammies) to open the rest of THOSE presents. Then, we head over to wherever FI’s dad’s family is having Christmas dinner…. then, the day AFTER Christmas, we head over to where FI’s mom’s family is congregating and we usually have a much more casual affair with leftovers and the kids get to play with toys…


    Like I said, tiring, but we have really big families that live relatively nearby.

    Post # 5
    466 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Oh… I forgot to add Thanksgiving…

    Every other year we do the first (and majority) part of Thanksgiving with my family at my uncle’s, then we head over to FI’s family for dessert. The other  years we head to Door County, WI to spend the long weekend with FI’s dad’s family.

    Post # 6
    47 posts
    • Wedding: December 2011

    For the past couple of years (even before we were enaged) my fiance and I have done my family for thanksgiving and his family for Christmas. It seemed to workout that my family is big on Thanksgiving and his family is big on Christmas, so it was really easy for us to decide. If your families are not close enough where you can do them both then decided who gets what holiday and let it go from there. Each family should understand they can’t have them both.

    Post # 7
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    its very hard as we both have very traditional families- the last 4 years have been battles with us dating before we were living together- splitting holidays here & there or half days- even not getting dinner on one xmas night due to traveling!a WAWA nightmare i dont want to relive!

    we came up with:  thanksgiving his family since theres 35+ for dinner, xmas party at our place between the 2 holidays,xmas eve he is santa so hes with his family again, xmas day my family – at HOME new years dinner and easter.

    Sometimes its tough because there is a  2 hr travel time each way…but we made it work last year and agreed to do it this year the same. 

    Post # 8
    2559 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Our parents live in the same city, so when we can make it home for the holidays we hit both houses fairly equally. We actually all get together for Christmas Eve dinner πŸ™‚

    Post # 9
    2142 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We’ve spent holidays together for a while now. My family is 8hrs away so we alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas.

    Post # 10
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    The first year we were dating, we did Christmas at my parents then the day after we went to his parents. Last year we decided to stay local. This year we are planning on doing the same. 

    Post # 11
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    We go to my parents for Thanksgiving at noon. Then we come home and I cook Thanksgiving for his family at 6pm.  On Christmas Eve we host a both family get together including extended family as well. Then on Christmas morning we go to my parents house.  

    Post # 12
    316 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We split it evenly. Last year for Thanksgiving, we ate a little at my parent’s home, and a little at his parent’s house! We spend Christmas Eve with my family, and Christmas Day with his. We’re doing it the same this year πŸ™‚

    Post # 13
    510 posts
    Busy bee

    Ugh, I’ve been thinking about this all day, as Darling Husband and I argued about it last night πŸ™  This will be our 6th (!) holiday season together, and we STILL have a hard time with this.  Our families live close together (w/in an hour).  The first 2 holidays, we were also living in the area, but the past few years we’ve been living 9 hours away.  We used to split up a lot, because it was hard for either of us to leave our families.  We’d try to make it here and there to each other’s gatherings.  Last year we were engaged, and wanted to spend the holidays together.  So we did Thanksgiving at his house, day after get-together with my family (Mom’s bday), xmas eve was my family’s big get-together, and xmas day at his house.  Although I kind of feel like it wasn’t too fair, because he got both ‘major’ holidays- thanksgiving and xmas.  We are both very close to our families and having a hard time giving up time with them.  Blah……. Others struggling to figure this out??

    Post # 14
    27 posts
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I’m extremely lucky in that our families live like 3 miles apart. This year is going to be awkward though because FIs mom decided to leave FIs dad recently so we are going to have to split our holiday between 3 instead of two now and both are going to be fighting over who gets who….

    Post # 15
    627 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We do both holidays with both families. His parents are divorced so it gets tricky, but i think we’ve finally worked it all out! I think this is something like our tenth holiday together (although first as a married couple!) so we’ve had lots of time to figure out what works for us.

    I agree though, it can get so hectic and busy trying to balance our time with each family. We’ll probably look for a new arrangement when we have kids, but that won’t be for a while yet…

    Post # 16
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    We do ALL family on Thanksgiving… My moms moved hers way early to accomodate us at 11:30 then usually his moms followed by his dad’s and then my dad’s parents who live just outside of town (he’s the only one that lives far away so that’s where he goes)

    This year DH’s mom & sister decided to change the time so we get to figure out all over again how to get everyone fit… Since we generally “finished” with my dad’s side since they aren’t in the closest proximity.

    Christmas has gone much of the same way…. BUT this year my mom isn’t doing Christmas, rather we’re starting to observe Hanukkah, so it should go easier….. HOPEFULLY!


    I really wanna move away just so we don’t have to accomodate his family anymore =/

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