His fantasy,strap-ons and me confused(TMI)

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
6880 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

I’ve used one on guys and girls and girls have used one on me. My ex asked me to use one on him and although it was uncomfortable and a bit weird to me, I did it because I loved him and wanted him to be happy.  I think this is a good opportunity for you guys to explore your sexualities together. 

P.S. using spaces between sentences and after commas won’t hurt either 😉

Post # 4
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@anonsweetbee:  Exploring sexualities can’t hurt. But i wont lie, it would be something i would ask my husband about. I would be nervous that he suddenly was prefering that and would wonder if he was happy with me just having my woman parts and if he wanted more than me. But that could just be my insecurities talking!

Post # 7
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@anonsweetbee:  I am not addressing from a personal standpoint, but one of best friends dated a guy for a really long time, whom liked her using a strap-on on him.  She did, for him, even though she originally found it very ‘odd’.  She ended up enjoying the control she had in using it on him, and his pleasure from receiving.  

He was not gay in any way, and although they did not work out, he is happily married to a woman, etc.  The man’s prostate is a HUGE point of pleasure of guys.  I think a lot of men miss out on the sensation, because they think that anything going in that direction constitutes an insecurity of ‘gay tendencies’.  When really, I do not believe that to be true, at all!!

As far as girl on girl with a strap-on, I think you need to ensure you are really comfortable with bringing a ‘third’ party into your bedroom!!  Good luck 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@anonsweetbee:  I don’t really feel like you have anything to worry about.  Your man is obviously comfortable with expressing his sexual fantasies with you, and I think that’s a good thing.  I think there is a very easy way to find out if something would be considered “gay”, ask your FI if he wants to have sex with men.  If the answer is no, he’s not gay, if the answer is yes, he’s gay.  If he wants to do something experimental with you, it’s not gay, just experimental.

Post # 9
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This is probably a gross question and sorry if I put anybody off of their lunch, but doesn’t using something that long up a person’s behind kind of make a mess with uh, fecal matter and what not? I mean, that would be a reason for me to not even want to try….Just sayin’.

Post # 10
Member
856 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@anonsweetbee:  I wouldn’t like one used on me and if he wanted me to use one on him I would have an issue with it. That’s just me personally 🙂

Post # 11
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Billsgirl:  I don’t think it’d be any different than anal sex, unless you’re getting an abnormally long/large strap-on.

Post # 12
Member
28 posts
Newbee

@anonsweetbee:  This is obviously something that worries you so don’t keep that from him.Ask him directly.It is probably just the ol’ good lesbian fantasy for him and you have nothing to worry about ,but ask him anyway.I ve never been asked to use a toy on a guy but I would probably not like it.It is not a matter of how open -minded you are ,it is normal to think that stuff when it is not about your FI and not a random dude.As for fantasizing I don’t think that I would ever go that far and actually buy one but don’t feel embarrased just because you like the idea.Oh the times I have seen lesbian porn with strap-ons and thought ” oh this is hot”.Thoughts are thoughts 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

@anonsweetbee:  I don’t think that just because he has a fantasy about strap ons it automatically means that he wants one used on him. My SO has fantasies about basically anything going on between me and another girl, but he wouldn’t ever ask me to use a strap on on him. Even if your SO has fantasies about you using a strap on with him I wouldn’t jump to conclusions about that being gay. Gay and straight men all have the same pleasure points down below, so it would be natural if he was comfortable enough with his sexuality that he wanted to try different things for pleasure. I would talk to him about it before you start thinking this anyway, but I’m just saying that if it feels good and he’s comfortable it’s not the end of the world. 

Post # 15
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@housebee:  Yeah..both can lead to illness and infection from feces. I’m sure I’d never use one on my guy.

Post # 16
Member
6030 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Firstly, many people believe that there are very few “100% gay” or “100% straight” people in the world, and that most folks fall somewhere on a broad spectrum in between. I think it’s time society in general got past this silly notion that if a man has even the first whiff of curiosity about anything remotely penis-shaped, he’s somehow secretly gay.  It’s narrow-minded and judgmental, and it also reinforces the ridiculous notion that being gay is a bad thing.   So let’s just do a little reset here.  Many lesbians enjoy oral sex with their partners; it does not make you gay if your boyfriend goes down on you, does it? Then you shouldn’t have the same silly notions about a man’s body and sexual orientation.

It’s absolutely normal for a man to want to experiment with toys and try having them used on himself or watch his partner using them on another woman or man. This is just curiosity and exploration, and should be embraced rather than feared.  Plus, many men, regardless of orientation, get massive pleasure from stimulation of the prostate, the frenulum,  and nearby regions.  If it feels good to him, then touching it and exploring it should be encouraged.

 

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