Post # 1
Me and FH have been engaged for a few weeks, and awhile ago, we got together with two of his closest friends to celebrate all of our engagements (they all happened to propose within weeks of each other, who knows why). Since the other two couples have been together much longer (I’ve been with FH for 2 years), and these fiancees of FH’s friends have been anxious to get engaged for ages, I didn’t want to rain on their parade, and just congratulated them wholeheartedly and cooed over their wedding details.
One of them showed us her engagement ring – it was a custom design in white gold, with a tiny gem (not diamond). It was pretty, and I complimented her on it. For the rest of the night, the other two brides-to-be talked a lot about their wedding – I could tell they were really excited, and I was happy for them. However, they didn’t really do the same for me.
when we were all telling proposal stories, i told mine, and besides that i didn’t really talk about things on my end. they didn’t congratulate me, or wish us well. they also ignored my ring (which i think is really beautiful and cost well into the five digits). in fact, one of them, who was still looking for her ring, even mentioned “i want something very nice and simple, not one of those chunky things”.
I wonder what they were thinking? Were they questioning my intentions for being with FH, because of my ring? (if they do, i don’t really feel that’s fair; since he picked the diamond. in addition, his family raved about me, saying that i’m down to earth and genuine) or were they just upset that us as a new couple diluted their thunder?
Any advice? An engagement should be such a happy time, I guess it just really sucks when people chip bits away from your happiness.
Post # 3
I totally am getting a jealous vibe from this story (them of you). Did you know these girls before?
Post # 4
I really wouldnt worry about this. You dont know what they were thinking, maybe they were jealous or maybe they dont care about your ring.. Eitherway I dont think you should lose sleep over what they might be thinking
Post # 5
yea, we had hung out quite a bit before. I considered them to be my friends as well.
Actually, after we met up, I emailed them to wish them well again, and included a few photos from my engagement (this was after we had spent about an hour looking through photos from one of theirs when we were together). a couple of days passed by, neither of them responded. Finally each of their male counterparts awkwardly responded. This was really weird because normally both of them are really on the ball with emailing back and forth – it only takes a few hours for them to respond (and their SOs rarely do!)
Post # 6
ahh girls will be girls. sorry they made you feel left out and not caring of your special day.. bc it should be a fun time. I think they are jelly!!! Thts what it sounds like at least.
Post # 7
What a bummer! But I wouldn’t sweat it. Fiance and I got engaged after two years, and we have many friends that have been dating just as long if not longer, but are nowhere near engaged. I always try to be respectful of their relationships and not act like the ring on my finger makes mine more legitimate, but people still act weird occasionally. It’s just jealousy, nothing about you. I would just hang out with people who aren’t like that, since it sounds like most of the people in your fiance’s life are really happy for you!
Post # 8
@smileypeaches1: Boo !! that is so unfortunate .. keep your head held high – you have a great relationship and delicious sparkle . I am sure they will warm up eventually … and if not – their loss.
Post # 9
They sound like a couple of self-centered, little girls. Oh, and maybe a tad bit jealous, seeing that they did not bother to mention your ring. May you & your Fiance have many wonderful years together. Your fellow bees look forward to oohing and aahing over your ering-congrats!
Post # 10
They do just sound straight-up jealous. I’m sorry they acted so petty! 🙁
Now that you’re on a board full of supportive girls… maybe posting a picture of your ring and getting compliments now might lift your spirits! 😉
Post # 11
@smileypeaches1: lady DO I EVER KNOW what you are talking about!!! My ring also went into above $10,000 bracket and I got NASTY reactions. Not that they know how much these rings cost but its very obvious when you are wearing one of these pretty sparkly rings that they were a pretty penny. I heard the same thing from co-workers and acquantences that they would never want something “SO BIG”
My fiance gets concerned because he thinks it makes us look like we have money when in reality I said I rather have an amazing ring over the $35,000 wedding, not that we have money – cause we dont.
Flash that pretty thing all over WeddingBee so WE can be excited for you.
All girls want to show off their rings – big or small!
Post # 12
Yes show us your ring! we will ohhh and ahhhh over it happily! 🙂
I also got some wierd reactions over my ring from other women…a relative of mine actually put her ring next to mine so we could see whose was nicer….AWKWARD.
Post # 13
Aw thats rubbish. I can relate, I’ve got some wierd vibes from other newly engaged people about my ring (both girls with bigger and smaller stones). To be honest, I think people are so focused on themselves sometimes they forget to say nice things.
I’ve kicked myself a couple of times because I’ve forgotton to gush at the right moment because I’ve been distracted and then released later what I’d done and tried my best to do a delayed gush.
This does sound like these girls are jealous and instead of being happy for you, they are focusing on themselves. It happens, consider yourself the better person and post your ring on here so we can all see!!
Post # 14
I’ve posted it in the gallery section:
please excuse my non-moisturized hand…LOL
Post # 15
I’m in a situation that is slightly different than yours but has basically the same story, I won’t get into it now but I do know exactly how you feel and honestly their wedding is coming up in September and ours in November and we’ve all been engaged for almost a year now and I still feel akward around them, even though I have always been polite and put their wedding and everything first (like you said regarding the 2 girls getting engaged and talking about their wedding) and I only speak of my wedding when asked. But the one girl has said some pretty mean things to me regarding my wedding even implying that she doesn’t feel that people in my and fi’s situation should be getting married but didn’t come out and say us ( she feels that people that have been together longer like her and her fi are the only ones that should be getting married) and that also since my wedding is after hers its unfair for me to invite the same guests ( fi and her fi have been best friends forever and will be sharing a lot of similar guests on the list and also groomsmen) because that is more money they have to shell out for another wedding, I guess when she said that she was hoping I would back mine up even more. Guess thats why she picked 2 weeks after the date fi and I originally had wanted for our wedding as her wedding date and thats why we moved back to November. All I have to say is girls are ridiculous! Be proud of your wedding and your ring and your fi. When I get down about it I just remember how lucky I am and how lucky fi and I are as a couple for having each other and a wonderful wedding coming up. Good luck!
Post # 16
You know, it could be several things. As someone who was with my fiance for seven years before we got engaged, sometimes it actually physically *hurt* when people who had not been together as long got engaged. It made me question everything about us all over again, and perhaps they are remembering a similar feeling when they see you and your fiance all happy and excited. Now, that’s no reason to act snotty toward you, but they may not be gracious enough to gush.
Another possibility is that they feel like their engagements are anti-climactic after such a long time of dating, and they are dealing with it in an immature way by gushing over each other and not over you, figuring you’ll get plenty of excited talk from others.
Maybe they felt as though your ring was so fancy that you might get a swollen head if they mentioned it, or that it would detract from their own in some fashion 😉
Whatever their problem is, it’s not you!! We support your engagement and you are always welcome to talk about wedding stuff to us Bees. We’ll be excited for you (and about your beautiful e-ring, too!).
@Evie19: That is super awkward!! I don’t know how I’d deal with that. I’m glad my ring is atypical 🙂