Post # 1
Ok, So I want a plain gold band. However his decrease grandmother left him her wedding set. He wants to use her marquise shaped diamond for the e-ring. Honestly, I just want a plain band and would prefer a colored stone if I had one. But he has always wanted to use his grandmother’s stone. Ugh. I feel bad. If we had never talked about it I would have just gotten the marquise and been fine with it but now that we both know each other preferences. I feel bad rejecting the stone.
Post # 3
You have to wear the ring every day and ultimately you should get what you want. What about taking is grandmother’s diamond and making it into a piece of jewelry you wear on your wedding day? Seems like a good compromise.
Post # 4
Could you combine the two? Have the diamond in the middle and colored stones on the side?
Post # 5
I love the idea of using the stone and putting into a new piece of jewelry. That way it still has it’s special place and she can be remembered and honored at your ceremony, but, as horrible as it may sound, you won’t have to rock her every day on your hand. Because it is your marriage, just as she got to wear what she loved, you should get to wear what represents you and what you love.
Just be honest and sensitive about it. Let him know that while you believe it’s a beautiful ring, it isn’t at all your taste and ask him how he’d feel about turning it into a necklace or something. That way you can honor her in a different way and have something you could pass down to your children.
Post # 6
I agree. Talk to him about a compromise. My FI used his grandma’s ring for my ring. However, he knew that the diamond was the cut I liked and he actually had it put in a setting they he knew I would love. It’s beautiful and it was custom made just for me. I didn’t even know it was her’s until he told me. The setting it was in was sort of ugly to me. So perhaps if you use it as part of the ring or another piece of jewelry he’ll be okay. There’s so much they can do with stones and bands (if you go to the right place) that the two of you can come up with something you’ll both agree with.
Post # 7
It would be nice to incorporate the diamond, but ultimately you have to love it- you are the one wearing it everyday. Below are some ideas so you could incorporate both of your ideas.
Here are some ideas:
you could see if you could get a pave/halo setting done with colored gem chips/stones. If you have the diamond positioned horizontally you may have more luck finding a plain gold band to wear with it.
Post # 8
I like the east-west settings that futuremrskline suggested…might be a good compromise? They have a totally different look than the traditional marquise setting.
Post # 9
Post # 10
I am going to give my opinion as someone who also has a fiance in posession of his grandmother’s engagement ring. He and his grandmother were very close and it meant a lot to him for me to use it. Of course, he said that I didn’t have to, but I know that it meant a lot to him. And, while I would be wearing the ring every day, it represents our future together, which includes the blending of our families. The ring isn’t the end-all be-all…our life together is. Also, I really appreciate the fact that his family thinks enough of me that they were cool with my having the ring.
While my wishes weren’t as far from the ring as yours are–I had always wanted a 1-2 carat princess cut solitare and Bubbe’s ring held a .75 carat cushion cut stone. We decided to use the center stone from his grandmother’s ring and get a new setting for it. I found a square-shaped setting–seeing as I always wanted princess cut this is what appealed to me–with over a carat of little diamonds on the setting-around the center stone and on the band. It is a larger setting which is great since I wanted a larger ring (because I am 6 feet tall with long fingers and would look silly with a small ring).
I couldn’t be happier with my e-ring. It is unique, and the story behind the center stone is absolutely awesome. Also, an extra added bonus is that it is a very high-quality stone…they did it right back in the day!