HIs mom publicly pressured me to have a baby…but he still hasn't proposed

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
3623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Did you mention this to him? Not in a nagging way, but in a “hey, your mom mentioned this and here’s how I responded.  I’m only mentioning this to keep you in the loop”. I fully feel that your SO should share in the awkwardness and know it is on your mind!

Post # 4
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Omg that’s embarrassing. I’m 22 and we’ve been together 5 years and just got engaged a month ago. We were around 20 when his GRANDMA yelled across the dinner table at outback “When are you going to give me a great grandchild?! I’m getting older and won’t be around for too much longer!” I was so damn embarrassed. And she’s like early 60’s so it’s not like she’s and about to fall over any second. 

Post # 5
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

It sounds like your SO’s mom really wants a grandchild and she’s likely feeling as frustrated about a future proposal as you.  However, I have to admit the way she said it was wrong and embarrassing for you.  I would be upset too!

Post # 6
3432 posts
Sugar bee

Starshollow:  My ex’s mom was like this, we’d go over to her and his nanny’s house all the time and she was blast out “When y’all having my grandbabies?”  I dated my ex from when I was a senior in high school to a junior in college, so there was obviously no time in baby making and neither of us wanted that, but his younger brother already had some kids and wanted him to catch up basically.  Never happened though, at least not with me.  Just tell his mother that you’re not ready and that’s the determining factor here.

Post # 7
16 posts
  • Wedding: June 2015

This is really not her business and its really kinda of absurd to think that you should try to have a baby with a man who has not even committed to marrying you yet!

Post # 8
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Starshollow:  Let’s look at this from a different angle- how NICE is it to have a potential MIL rooting for your relationship?! Get over the embarassement – she’ll be your family one day and clearly wants what you want, but just a different time table.

So maybe she’s not the most gracious with words or her comments came off a little out of left field. Be thankful you don’t have a FMIL that can’t stand you. Maybe work WITH her to have a heart to heart with her son to hurry up and propose to you. 

But you having a pissy attitude about your SO’s mom won’t get you far – blood is thicker than water. I’m not saying it’s reasonable for you to hurry up and get pregnant but at least she’s supportive of it!!

I really hope you get what you want but try and take a step back and look on the bright side!

Post # 9
6666 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

On the plus side- it seems like she likes you!

Post # 10
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Starshollow:  My FMIL jokes about grandkids all the time and I know she can’t wait for us to have a baby. Even though it can be annoying and I totally understand your frustration I usually just laugh it off and make it clear we aren’t even thinking about that yet. 

Post # 11
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Brussels, Belgium

My FMIL asks and has for a while. I get the impression she thinks we’re old and need to get a move on it. Plus, everyone else in her family around our age has kids. We’ll be 25 when we’re married so I personally think we have some time.

Post # 12
4 posts

Oh my gosh I know what this is like! I’m 22, and I have been with my SO for 4 years (he is 30) and his entire family make constant comments about giving them grandchildren. It’s so embarrassing! We are not engaged either and I caNo certainly understand where you are coming from.


I would suggest just trying to talk it out with him again, and let him know that it embarrasses you and how you feel with the waiting thing. Easier said than done, I know… I’m the biggest procrastinator when it comes to those conversations! 🙂

Post # 13
2551 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I get this all the time from my FMIL and even my stepson’s mom and her friends.  On New Years Eve, she told me she’ll have a new grandbaby by 2015.  She’s ALWAYS saying she can’t wait until I have her granddaughter.  My stepson’s mom said it’s our turn to have a baby because she’s done having kids and she wants another to take care of.  And her friend was telling me that I look good with a baby on my arms (after carrying around my SS’s mother’s youngest), and asking when we’re going to start having them.

It might be embarassing, but I can guarantee you that they understand the marriage thing.  I always say, “Maybe in a few years. I want to be married for a couple years first.”  They’re just so excited that someone is around that is going to stay around!  Think about how much you want that engagement… they want the babies just as much!

Post # 14
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My mom and my FMIL like to “joke” like this. I feel ya on this one hun. I’m only 24. Comments like that make me want to run for the hills. Def not ready to be a mom.

Post # 15
314 posts
Helper bee

My mom and his mom are always making remarks like this.  It gets so annoying, but I have learned to just brush it off.  My mom knows I’m not going to have a kid without getting married and I have also informed her that I may not be having children at all.  His mom likes to remind me that I’m not getting any younger and my eggs aren’t either.  Love her, but when she can spend 20 minute talking about my eggs I just want to hide.  I guess all moms just want grandchildren and it seems like they lose sight of much once their children are in long-term relationships.  

I’m also with you on the feeling different about waiting.  My boyfriend and I are only coming up on 4 years, but he made some comments that honestly ruined all the excitement for me and made me feel down on myself for a while.  We talked it out and I get where he is coming from now, but the excitement still hasn’t come back since even though I know I want to marry him.  We are ring shopping now and it just feels like YAY instead of OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG YAY.  

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