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His Mother is buying things for our future wedding

posted 4 months ago in Waiting
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    IslandGirl6    September 6, 2014   British Columbia, Canada

    SO and I were looking for something in a spare bedroom at his parent's house and we found a box full of wedding things such as invitations, linens/napkins, favours, magazines etc. I know she recently purchased some of it because the magazines are from December 2012. I really hope this is a sign of things to come soon! I know he's talked to his parents about getting engaged, but I really don't know when it is going to happen.

    Anyone else have something like this happen? :) Love to hear it!

     
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    abbie017    March 16, 2013  

    I'm glad you're taking this as a good sign...I'd be livid if my FMIL bought wedding things like this for me without talking to me first.

    Here's hopign there's a ring soon!

     
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    vorpalette    August 23, 2013   Michigan

    @abbie017:  +1 I'd be really annoyed, since who's to say they're even what you want?

     
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    rosworms    October 10, 2012   St. Paul, MN

    LOL his mother didn't buy any wedding stuff, but she gave us baby clothes and a book about taking care of children at our wedding.

     
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    CaroBee    August 23, 2014   New York, NY

    My ex's mother did this - we actually ended up breaking up without getting engaged, but I don't think its a bad sign, that's nice that she's excited! Are her children only men?

    You've got a good attitude about it! PS if you hate the stuff, ask her to use it at a shower.

     
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    Kat_Kit2000    July 16, 2016  

    I think it's sweet. I'm always worried that my SO's parents don't like me or that I'm not someone they see their son marrying. So if I found his mom collecting stuff like that, and I was sure it was meant for me, I'd be pretty excited. At the same time, I do see how other bees might take it negatively. SO's brother got married in 2011 and I heard stories that his brother's then-fiance constantly had to battle the mom to get her way. 

    I think it also depends on the kind of stuff and your ideas for the wedding. If they don't clash with what you're going for, why not let her have her fun? But if you want to do it all on your own, be gentle when eventually you talk to her. Remember that she might have built up her son's wedding in her head almsot as much as you have. 

     
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    IslandGirl6    September 6, 2014   British Columbia, Canada

    @abbie017:  I can totally see your point! The last thing anyone wants is an overbearing FMIL that wants to plan the wedding her way. Luckily, my FMIL has great taste and I would actually use most of the things she bought. I know she is just trying to help out and she's a shy quiet type that I don't see trying to take over our wedding plans.

    @rosworms:  Haha that is so cute of your MIL! I am guessing she was really hopeful you two would have children soon. I would be so happy if my FMIL did something like that :)

    @CaroBee:   I agree with you! I think it is nice to know that she actually seems like she is excited to be involved with our future wedding. She only has 2 sons, and the other one eloped with his wife, so she has yet to see one of her sons get married. Also, great idea about using the stuff that isn't my style at a shower etc :). I am sure that she won't be offended if I don't like it (thankfully!) 

    @Kat_Kit2000:  I wouldn't worry too much about whether or not your SO's parents like you or not. It is likely that he wouldn't think about marrying someone his parent's don't like :) I am excited because I feel almost like it is an acceptance and that she wants me to marry her son. Hopefully your FMIL isn't too difficult to deal with and you dont want to drive her away during your wedding planning. Do you think that she will be helpful or just a nuisance?

    As of right now, she knows that I am hoping to have a wedding at this beautiful mountain lodge in the summer. She's gotten things that actually seem to go with my theme, so I am happy that she is helping. It's probably her only chance to get to do anything like this. 

     
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    photogestelle    February 18, 2012  

    I would freak the frick out if my MIL had done that... I'm gald you're taking it well!

     
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    Mischka    February 21, 2015   Australia

    I think it sweet, but I would not like it if my FMIL did this, mainly as I am super picky and already know exactly what I want.

    It's lovely that you are happy to include her, especially as you said she has two sons and didn't get to be a part of her other sons wedding.

     
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    IslandGirl6    September 6, 2014   British Columbia, Canada

    @photogestelle:  Haha I could see lots of people freaking out if this happened to them! All of my friends can't believe I didn't freak out actually.. They said they want their weddings to be planned just by them and their future husbands.

    @Mischka:  I can be pretty picky with some things for sure too. As of right now it will be nice to include her too, but if she starts to try to take over, I will for sure have to talk to her about it! I am a bit of a perfectionist too which doesn't help ;) I just want her involved but not TOO involved! 

     
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    WannaBeeMrsB    July 17, 2015   Canada

    My mom is doing this too! And his mom is always putting stuff away and telling us that it's for us for when we move out together haha. This Christmas, the majority of my gifts were for 'us' for our future :). 

     
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    IslandGirl6    September 6, 2014   British Columbia, Canada

    @WannaBeeMrsB:  Aw that is so cute! :) It is so nice to get things for the future, it makes the future not seem so far off. You'll be there before you know it!!

     
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    Mischka    February 21, 2015   Australia

    @IslandGirl6:  Hopefully she'll feel involved and won't try to take over...you never know!

     

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