I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I can totally empathize. I have the same (but inverse) problem: my mom’s been quite emotionless about the wedding. It’s really difficult for FI to take sometimes, because he (like you) wants out parents to be really happy for us. But we’ve been engaged about 1/2 a year now, and everything is sort of settling in to place. Here are a few thoughts that might help:
1. Don’t take it personally. Have you had a good relationship with her in the past? She may just not really know you well enough to be excited for a new daughter-in-law. With more frequent meetings, that’ll (hopefully) change with time.
2. What is your BF’s current living situation? Is he a Mama’s-Boy? While I’m sure she’s happy that her boy is settling down, she may feel sad/overwhelmed for several reasons. A wedding (in her mind) may signify that:
– Your BF is truly and permanently out of the house (depending on what the current living situation is), and she’s sad that she’ll miss him.
– Your BF will visit less, because now he’ll have his own family to take care of.
– Your BF is all grown up – and that’s a scary thought.
3. Is BF her first child to get married? If so, it’s a sign that SHE is getting old!! She may not feel ready to have a married son… and *gasp* to be a grandmother!! That’s definitely the line of thought my mom fell into (as well as most of the above) and it’s taken her some time to get used to the idea, but everything does settle down with time!
I know that these thoughts don’t seem rational, and there’s certainly a chance that she’s not be feeling this way, I just wanted to give you some insight on what I’ve learned through my own experiences. Also, please dont’ think that I’m suggesting that you intend on having kids anytime soon – it’s just society’s perception.
One last point: keep in mind that not everyone gets excited about weddings the way brides do. When I start seriously planning the wedding, I have a feeling that my mom will be very ‘hands off’. It’s not because she doesn’t care, or doesn’t support the marriage, but just because she has little interest in the whole wedding-planning thing. Do I wish she was more into it? Yeah of course, and it does sadden me sometimes. But it does come with some excellent perks, like less meddling and arguments, because the decisions are all my own (and FI’s). So keep your head up, and don’t let anyone’s negativity bring you down. Goodluck!!! Oh, and sorry for the epic long post… 😉