(Closed) His Own Father isn't coming- Vent

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Post # 6
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Awww hunni…*BIG HUGS* I don’t know why but I think weddings ALWAYS have at least one person go “weird” before the wedding. It sounds like this guy hasn’t been much of a father and even though it hurts, is it really killing your FI inside? Or has he become use to it over the years… Just make sure that it isn’t eating you up more inside than it is your FI…

Post # 7
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Calling him up and abusing him wont help anything hun…but you know that deep down already <3

Why can’t your FI friend come? I’m sure it was a good reason?

Post # 10
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I am so sorry to hear about the news. Your soon to be FIL will have to live with this decision for the rest of his life. He will realize down the line how wrong his choice was to miss his own childs wedding. I am dealing with the same problem myself, my mother will not be coming to my wedding. Its a long complicated story, to long to write on here, but I have moved pasted it. She will regret her choice, just like you soon to be FIL will. A parent should want to support their child and be there during one of the happiest moments of thier lives, not choose their needs over the needs of the child. Stay strong, smile, and kiss your fiance. Your wedding will still be all you both want it to be. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@alishaloo:  I’d be happy to share my situation, but through a PM. I will PM you tomorrow, be prepared for a kinda long message. I won’t go through my whole life, but I’ll give you enough details to get to the point of why my mother made her choice to not attend my wedding. As I already stated, I moved pasted it, my feelings are hurt, but I still love her. My sisters and I do not have the normal “mother/daughter” relationship with our mom.

Post # 13
Member
46137 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I never will understand how family members can do such hurtful things to each other, especially things that can’t have a “do-over” like skipping a wedding.

Post # 14
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ok I think your FI’s dad is being a major tool. I have many LDS friends and even some that did not get married in the temple, and while it was challenging… their families still made it work. Their parents were able to see that their childrens happiness was more important than their religious choices.

ALSO HIS DAD IS A MAJOR HYPOCRITE. He thinks you should have a temple marriage because it’s the righteous thing to do but LDS people are counseled to not work on Sundays so he is either a hypocrite or a liar and either way he sucks. He’s using it as an excuse because he probably doesn’t want to show his support.

But guess what? Now you AND your FI know he’s not a cool dude, and if he’s not at your wedding then so be it. He has nothing positive to say about it, he shouldn’t be there. If they don’t support you they don’t deserve to be a part of any of it.

I know this must be so hurtful and stressful for you, but just remember that this is their choice and all you can do is forget it and try to enjoy your wedding day. Your wedding will be better without negative thinkers there. You especially wouldn’t want him around if they do a ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’.. that would just be a mess!!

Focus on your relationship and why you love eachother and you can get through this together!

Good luck

Post # 15
Member
311 posts
Helper bee

Oh honey I know the feeling. My FI’s father hates me because I’m not a Christian though I don’t pressure my FI to change his beliefs and go to church with him at least once a month. All you can do is take a deep breath and either accept the fact that he will never accept you into the family or try to talk to him about how you feel. In my experience though, discussing how you feel with someone who doesn’t really care is futile. My FFOH won’t listen to anything either of us say and is constantly trying to break us up. Best thing to do in my experience is just back away from them and let them realize they screwed up and contact you to apologize. Good luck.

Post # 16
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

That really really sucks, I am so sorry 🙁

For a religion that stresses about “family” as much as LDS do, you’d think they would be involved with their children no matter what. It’s just so upsetting to see and hear the stories that say otherwise. 

I hope you guys can still enjoy your day despite it all. At least you will have time to heal from this as best you can, instead of him telling you this a week or day before. 

The topic ‘His Own Father isn't coming- Vent’ is closed to new replies.

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