- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
One of my first posts here on WeddingBee was how to go about asking for help paying for the wedding, since nearly a month went by and no one had offered (or even spoke to us after hearing about our engagement, whether it be first hand or not).
Two-nights-ago, FI’s Dad offered to pay for our entire wedding, along with FI’s grandfather. I was quite floored, never expecting them to pay for it all, but perhaps give some money towards it.
My parents aren’t able to help, and FI’s Dad realizes this. My parents are both disabled and live off my Dad’s disability check, month-to-month, which actually will be going down $150.00 starting next month. My parents have offered to try to put aside $100.00 a month for us, but we really don’t want them to. That’s stretching them too far. I know they want to help, so I’m going to see if they want to pay for the wedding cake. That way, they have a year to budget out $250.00.
Anyway, my parents are thrilled FI’s Dad offered and say take it. FI isn’t too thrilled with having his Dad pay for everything (yet, has been hurt this whole time that his Dad hadn’t offered prior). Like the common fear, he’s fearful that his Dad will belittle our ides and want his own (yes, this is a huge possibility, since that’s how his Dad is everyday of the week, anyway).
Although, his Dad does respect that we haven’t begun “official” planning until after we graduate on May 4th, but that we have been scouting places, prices, and following our own ideas and not what tradition dictates. Yet…he respects it, but hasn’t said if he likes what we’re thinking. My biggest concern is he’ll blackball our bar ideas: dry reception, cash bar (yes, I know taboo around here), or beer and wine only. He’s a drinker and the bar is his favorite part of any function.
In your opinion, should we just forward him the bills for everything? I’m trying to find a middle ground with FI, saying we should decide on the ceremony venue, recepetion venue, catering, and traveling bar – our largest expenses – and then see what we can cover from it and then ask his Dad for the rest. FI’s not even fond of that; he’d rather we just ask for a certain about of money and that’s it.