- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
So the last few days have been pretty emotional and finally feeling like we see the light at the end of the tunnel (which is AMAZING)…..
A little back story, Mr. Xray and I have been together a year and half (a little over) now and things at the beginging were amazing (like most relationships). We were in long distance He in Michigan and Myself in MN. We flew back and forth and always made time for skype dates phone calls ect. It was great!
He was able to land a fantastic job in his field here in MN so he moved here in Dec 11. Due to economy and trying to be as financially responsible we moved in with my parents (yea i kno…… not the brightest situation) and thats where we have been since in the basement *suite* as I call it.
Well I think everyone here can agree going from long distance to living together (in my parents) definantly put us thro some tests. And the other night was a big douzy. We are both very head strong, the oldest children in our families, the first to be getting married. And both are with out lack of better words Cheap. Lol.
Now when I say “cheap” i mean we are big savers we try to save as much as possible to pay off big things when they happen so we dont have debt. I have student loan debt that I have been able to take from a 10 year payment plan to a 3 year and will dance on the ashes of the paper work when its finally paid off!
Now with that mindset I bet you can see where are arguing stems from. Sometimes Mr. Xray can be just plain moody (what guy isnt?!) and being a recent transplant isnt helping. We have tried to get out and meet some new people but in general its hard to make new friends (in my opinion)
And on top of all that we delt with a really big blow of the original ring he proposed with we ended up having to return after months of fighting and arguing with the jeweler and designer back and forth. So he has gone the custom route (which is amazing since he is a great artist I am so excited to see what he created for me vs a design in a case) And my birthday coming up in 11 days…. I knew the new ring was going to hopefully be done around there.
Well we have had some unexpected finances come up (i admitt when I was younger I wasnt the financial wiz I am now….. which I am paying for) and has created some tension in the relationship. And the other night was the straw that broke the camels back. Now I dont want anyone to think that I am complaining about how much we make or having debt I am not just hard when your the 1/2 of the relationship that does and is working very hard to get it out of here asap, and the other 1/2 has never had debt the most his car payment. We both have anxiety and yes we do take meds for it.
Well finding out certain things (my new car & insurance) were going to cost a lot more than originally hoping (my previous car was a lease and yes I was dumb and went over the miles…. alot thinking I was going to keep it forever cause I loved the car… but he didnt as what guy likes driving an electric **and im not exagerating** blue car) and such. Now yes it was more than we hoped but I was still very comfortable with the payments and what we had left for Rent, fun money, living ect. He wasnt. Which exploded into a fight of mammoth porportions.
I was a wreck as was he and my best friend ended up swinging by to pick me up to go for a drink and just talk. Exactly what I needed. She having her own expiriances like this with her husband she gives the best advice (her hubby due to a terrible 1st marriage where she took it all from him and ran he had to claim bankrupcy ect she never had a penny of debt ever)
She and I knew he and I needed to confront these demons once and for all if our relationship would truley be forever. I love him deerly with all my heart and could never imagine any one else! But with this it needed to be resolved and not just the “Im sorry” bandaid we had been putting on it for months.
Wow I just now realized how much I have written and if you have kept up, THANK YOU!!!!! Here is the rant part… in the midst of the Im sorry Problem solving make up session/ wont lie argument at first…. He in his attempt to redeem from some of his harsh words spilled the entire news of his new proposal plan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When the ring was done, how it was going to happen on my birthday with all my friends in a huge romantic guesture….. I actually threw my hands over my ears and started yelling “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA” in attempt to try not to hear it, but I did.
The good news is that we have really started to make progress in making these issues better and work for us in the long run. The debt is taken care of (well im still paying it but we are both comfortable with what it is) and just working on getting back to us and having some fun and not acting 40 when hes 26 and im 24. If you have read this message I am done with my rant and thank you so much for putting up with my incessant need to tell every detail. Thanks for the love and support!!!