Post # 1
K so tell me if I’m crazy…
My fiance and I have been dreading the planning of this big wedding with family members we don’t even really know. Yesterday it finally dawned on me.. I REALLY dont want that. We don’t have a ton of money and the money we do have I want to spend on buying a house, going on vacation, or use it for our start up. Why the F am I planning the wedding of my nighmares!???
Soooo – we talked about it and settled on the idea of kind of an elopement wedding. We are pretty non-traditional and this honestly sounds like the best option. We really want to get married in front of a big tree maybe in the hills by our home or maybe near the SF redwoods. We thought we would head out there, tell close friends and family to come if they want, and basically have a hit and run wedding! ..is that even possible? Can you just pick a place and get married? (our cermimony will only be about a half hour) Then we thought we’d hold a wedding brunch (my dream come true!) and then take off for our honeymoon!! Ideally I would like to have the brunch outside as well but I’m up for options. 🙂
Any suggestions, tips, opinions are welcome! Even if you don’t like it I wanna know cuz I have to brace myself for some serious family/friend backlash.
Also if you know of any good spots in California’s Bay area to do this kinda thing – that advice would be appreciated. We live in San Jose but are willing to travel. 🙂
Thanks bees!! xoxo
PS. sorry if there are 3 zillion typos! I’m late for work and cannot find the darn spell check!
Post # 3
@alishav: Having a simple outdoor ceremony followed by brunch does not make it a hit and run wedding. It also doesn’t make the wedding an elopement.
You simply send out invitations inviting your guests to a morning ceremony followed by a brunch reception.send invitations.
All well and good to say you would tell people to come if they want, (not sure when you are planning to tell them) but I don’t know how you would decide how much food to cater for the brunch if you didn’t send invitations and get a head count of who is able to attend.
You can have your outdoor ceremony and brunch and keep it as simple as you want.
Post # 4
@alishav: I’m not sure what makes it “hit and run”… are you planning on telling people day-of? That would be rude (rude if you had more advance notice and just withheld the info until then, that is). But just having a small ceremony without much fuss isn’t rude.
Tons of people on here are planning intimate weddings with just a few friends/family and there’s nothing rude about it. Mine is a little more elaborate than that because everyone but us is coming in from out of town, so we rented out a historic house to put everyone up in/have the ceremony at, but it’s going to be minimal decor, no formal reception, just hanging out after with close family and our three best friends.
Post # 5
+1 i don’t get the “hit and run” thing.
Post # 6
@alishav: You mean like a flashmob wedding? Doable – I see it in Delores Park pretty often.
However, there are NO chairs. None. Don’t bring them in — that’s rude to other people using the park.
There’s NO decor but the natural loveliness of the park. Why? Because tying things up, marking off the spot is rude to other people using the park.
Don’t expect privacy, unless you can reserve the space. Park permits aren’t expensive.
If you do a flashmob wedding in the redwoods, you have to keep it small and uncomplicated — think about the environmental impact. Leave nothing behind, take nothing but memories. It’s too hard to get people in and out on-trail with a lot of people. Also, how big is the clearing?
How many close friends and family are you expecting? We were thinking of doing something similar, but with FMIL’s mobility issues and the fact that close friends + family are well over 150, it was a non-starter.
Post # 7
I’m having a brunch wedding, but I don’t consider it a “hit and run” wedding.
If you want to plan an event that people will attend, go plan it! Find a location, send out invitations, and get people to come.
If you want to find a place to elope on a moment’s notice and call up your family and friends to say, “Jump in the car, we’re about to get married!” that’s pretty rude.
Either plan a small wedding and invite people or elope and invite no one. Neither one is wrong, but don’t try to pull a fast one on your guests. No one will think it’s cute or fun.
Post # 8
Post # 9
@alishav: Friends of mine did a “surprise” wedding and it was awesome! Everyone was invited to the farm for a BBQ/engagement party. At one point during the party, the bride and her dad disappeared (at which point her dad was informed what was happening), then she came out in her wedding gown, her dad walked her to a big tree in the yard where her groom and officiant were waiting and they got married. You could do the same type of thing – invite people out to where you want it for a day of pictures or something then take them all out for brunch after 🙂