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Its not your FMIL's wedding and I dont think you shouldve asked the sisters if you didnt want to. This is your day and these girls are going to be there with you by your side. Did you already ask the twin sisters? Maybe you can explain to them that you dont really want them in and if they dont mind not being in and ask your friends instead. My mom kept telling me i should ask my own sister but we arent close so I didnt ask them! good luck
Tell them exactly that! You don't want to go into your wedding with a heavy heart whatsoever, so just do it. You'll have regrets. I bet they will be just thrilled and it will be the best decision you've made yet.
Well, did you already ask the sisters?
Even if you did, what about having a heart to heart with them? About telling them as much as you love them, talking to them about how they had their friends standing with them... they would probably know exactly what you're talking about. Telling them how sad you are. I mean, you'd have to be pretty cold-hearted to just ignore the bride crying about how her best friends won't be standing there with her!
Or, you could just ask your friends and think to yourself, the more the merrier!
Well... I regret asking his sisters to be honest. I do like them alot and they are great/fun girls. I'm just not close with them and they'll basically show up on that day and thats about it. It was a really awful situation when I had to ask them. My fiances mom and dad found out that we weren't planning to ask them and got really upset. Then his mom's mother passed away and when I saw her the day before the funeral she broke down crying about how important family is and I agreed to ask them. What was I suppose to say? I wish I had been tougher. She asked me to ask them in person and I knew I'd be seeing them that week so I did. They were THRILLED and that made me happy. They were the first two to order their bridesmaids dresses so they really are sweet girls. I just wish I had taken a deep breath and thought about it a bit ya know?
My viewpoint at the time was, I'd rather enter into our marriage with no family issues then to start our marriage off with drama going on. Does that make sense?
And there is no way I'd ever ask them to step down so thats not an option!
You did what was in your heart and you should be proud of that. Im glad to hear that they are nice and were happy and bought their dresses. If you really want your girls to be a part maybe they can be in it another way...maybe have a special reading or something. You're a great person.
Yea, that sounds really complicated
I had a similar issue..deep down you want it to be your perfect day but you dont want to go into it pissing off your inlaws..
I would just go with your gut,, you will make the right decision..whatever you decide to do will be fine if it wont make you too mad it might just be easier to keep the twins and have your bfs be your unofficial bridesmaids and support you in that way
That totally makes sense, looking at your explanation now. I think you should just invite your friends and throw your worries out the window. When it comes down to it, would you rather be mad that they weren't there, or be just a little mad that you had so many people who love you and were willing to support you by standing up for you? :) good luck!!
Amen to cinemaparadiso! We beat ourselves up over the rushed decisions, but in the end, they are what they are. Don't sweat about asking the FSILs, you don't want an angry MIL! Ask your friends, I may be adding a 4th BM in a few days- exactly 5 weeks before MY wedding! So what if it's more than you thought, they'll be honored and you'll feel better.
I think you need to ask your friends. Down the road I think you would regret more not having your friends stand up with you than you would regret having 7 people.
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When my fiance and I got engaged, we were 100% set on only having 3-5 attendants in our wedding party. I have two older sisters who I am super close with and my best friend who I was lucky enough to have been her MOH last year. I also have two very close college friends that had me in their weddings whom I always assumed would stand up for me.
Boy was I wrong.
Immediately after getting engaged, my future MIL found out we weren't planning on asking my fiances twin sisters (one whom I lived with for two years) to be in the wedding. I'm not super close with them and they didn't ask me to be in their weddings. My FMIL FREAKED out and came to me crying about how family is so important and I need to ask them. We politely agreed and thought of asking their husbands to stand up on my fiances side (they had my fiance in their weddings).
Still with me?
My fiance has ALOT of close friends... alot. He knew he couldn't have them all because we're not super fans of the 8+ person bridal party... its just not us. So we thought ok, 5 on each side. I explained to my two college friends that I had to have my future sisters in law and that I wasn't going to ask them... they were disappointed but troopers. I regret it every single day. They are the ones who will be excited for me and talk to me about stuff. They are the ones that I want to get ready with and talk to things about when I'm stressing. I thought I was ok with it and now I think about it all the time.
So, we were engaged in February, getting married this upcoming May. Both girls know I wasn't planning to have them... so my question is... can I ask them now to join in and be a bridesmaid? I don't care if they do anything but walk down the aisle... I just want them by my side eventhough that makes 7 people on my side and the thought of that makes me so angry.
I need your help, hive! Do I just stick with it and trust that I made the right decision or is it ok that I keep second guessing myself?