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You could just say something like "FI and I will be exchanging marriage vows on (date). Although this will be a very small and initmate ceremony, we still want you to help us celebrate on (date) because you are so special to us. Please come to our BBQ party on (date)".
Not very good but making them feel special would be a key thing to mention I think.
My Finace and I are doing the exact same thing, only our party will be the night of the big day. We are having a private ceremony in the morning for our immediate family only. Here is what we are saying. Keep in mind this is a very casual invitation. Good luck!
On the morning of July 18 we will tie the knot in a small ceremony with our families.
But, our celebration wouldn't be complete without you!
Please join us for an evening of food and fun at our new home to celebrate our marriage.
Check out Verseit.com
Its a great website. My fiance and I are doing something similar, ceremony and reception on different days. We are stuck on how to word it on the Save the dates...
DSCF3979_(2).jpg (202.3 KB, 268 downloads) 1 year old 
If you don't really want to mention the ceremony (for fear of making them feel excluded), maybe word it something like this:
We're getting married! Please join us for a backyard BBQ (date) to celebrate that we tied the knot on (date).
I would suggest peeking at an actual etiquette site, though. =) Most have wonderful examples of what to say in a reception-only invitation.
Jane Doe
and
John Doe
are pleased to announce
they will be married on (week day)
(month and day), (year)
during a private ceremony
in (town), (state)
Please join them for a
celebration BBQ
when then return as
husband and wife
(weekday), (date)
at 2 o'clock pm (venue)
(city), (state)
michael & i are having a justice of the peace weddingon 9-9-2011 and bbq the next day how can i write the invites to the bbq to sound right please help its a pot luck BBQ with a dunking tank !
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Hi hive!
We're planning a cermony/dinner for 30, and then a large backyard BBQ 2 weeks later. The problem I'm having is with the invitation wording for the BBQ -- how can I communicate to guests that this ISN'T the wedding itself, without implying that we're already married (because, when I send out the invitations, we won't be!)?
This is the kind of thing we're considering:
we're married!
please join us
for a backyard celebration of family, friends and love
But since we're sending out the invites 8 weeks ahead of time, this won't exactly be true!
Anyone have any suggestions?