Post # 1
We’re doing a semi-destination wedding (in a small town on a lake in Northern Idaho), and in talking about our guest list wanted to keep it at about 150. Weeellll… it’s now 298. (does anyone see a diaster looming?)
I’m not freaking out too much- a lot of the 298 numbes is the & guest for people we know will come as singles (all my sorority sisters will come sans husbands, and have a blast of a girls weekend). Buuuttt, I do have 2 issues that give me a bit of a scare:
1. There are 15 hotel rooms in town. Total. And 4 rooms at the bed and breakfast. And a campground. We knew this going into it, but thought the 15 rooms would accomodate all of the out of town guests (most of my family will stay at my grandparents lake place). I’m a little concerned that might not work out so well with a guest list of 298…
2. About 10 of the people (peanuts, I know) are nieces and nephews of FI’s stepdad, who FI’s met once. FI’s mom has said “oh, so and so want to come!”-whaaa… um, what if they weren’t going to be invited? Suffice to say… well, I’m not exactly thrilled at having people I don’t know at our wedding. I haven’t said anything yet but, it kind of bugs me.
Anyone else experience this?
Maybe a random vent at 4:30pm on Friday afternoon 🙂
Post # 3
I don’t have any experience with this but I don’t think you can invite people without letting them know about this detail. They will need to know that they are probably going to be camping to come to your wedding. Unless there is a bigger town close by where they could stay and then drive back there after the wedding?
Post # 4
There is a bigger town “nearby”- a 55 minute drive on winding roads. And we’re totally going to let people know that the accomodations situation might be tricky. Frankly, I’m kind of hoping it’ll help thin the herd, you know?
Is that awful :/
Post # 5
LOL!! Dont feel guilty CHK. To ‘thin our herd”, I only sent STDs to people we wanted to invite. The mandatories from parents just got the invite. Without the extra time to plan, our list trimmed to exactly what we were hoping for… But I would never admit this if questioned
Post # 6
@FutureMrsMorgan – OOOH GREAT IDEA! im so stealing that….
Post # 7
I would try and trim that guest list as much as possible…or change your location 🙁 I think you’re inviting disaster if you invite nearly 300 people when there’s only room for 5% of them. Can you have a larger (more casual) party somewhere after you return from your honeymoon?
Post # 8
My one suggestion regarding the hotel rooms is to go ahead and tell the people you really want there (e.g. sorority sisters) about the situation so they can book rooms before all the people you don’t necessarily want there. Otherwise, you might end up w/ a lot of people close by that you aren’t thrilled to see.
Post # 9
Are there any houses nearby to rent out?
just be ready for people to not attend the wedding due to no accommodations. Can you do a smaller wedding away and then a reception party closer to your guests after?
Post # 10
Is there any way to change the location? At all? People are going to think you’re being really inconsiderate having them drive almost an hour just to get there, then an hour back. I know that if I found this information out after I got there, I would be absolutely furious; I hate hate hate driving (especially at night on windy roads) and the closer things are together the better. I would seriously question the hospitality of the bride if the location was choosen because “it’s pretty” and not because there were bigger towns with more hotel rooms. I’m really not trying to sound harsh (even though I know it’s coming across that way) but it’s something you really need to think about.
Post # 11
@future MrsMorgan. Brilliant. I’ll send the StD pamphlets to the proverbial B list about a week after I send it to the “must have there” people.
@aplusb: we are having a housewarming/ second reception at our new house sometime next fall (friday night before a home college football game). We’re adding the disclaimer on the StD that we’ll be having a second reception, we know July is a busy time of year, and we hope you’ll be able to join us for one of them. Frankly, everyone we work with (about 30 people) will come to the housewarming/ second reception.
@bkgrahmwedding: totally. We have a column on the spreadsheet of people who have hotel room priority. It’s a
@ gaBgal: yep. FI’s mom is renting a vacation house for the week, and many of “her” guests are staying with her there, thus lessening the need for hotel rooms. I’m encouraging my sorority sisters to consider going in together to do something similar. $1,500 for the weekly rental divided by 10 people isn’t bad…
Also, my mom’s parents have a lake place too, which is where about 20 of the guest list will stay.
I want to add with this, I do have anxiety about having the wedding here for various reasons, but mostly the where will people stay situation. When we started talking about it, we agreed on a guest list of 150, tops, and now it’s expanded to 300 via add ons from his parents. I started this post a week ago because I was frustrated with his mom’s adding on people we’ve never met to the list…. but she’s already asked them for their mailing address so we could send an invitation… so now we can’t really not send an invitation, you know?
I do think it’s terribly rude. And I’m a rookie at this. Maybe we shouldn’t have let his parents add people to the list? We’re too far past it now, so hopefully it’ll work out. We’ll make sure the important people have somewhere to stay.
Gah. I hate wedding planning. My dream wedding was 50 people, at the lake. He wants the big party, so we compromised and I’m afraid its going to be a disaster.
Post # 12
Is his mom helping pay for the wedding? If she’s contributing, then no you really are kind of stuck. If she’s not contributing then you could def put your foot down, but that might cause drama, so you will have to weigh your options. As far as the accomodations, I would be sure that everyone you invite has a place to stay that’s not a 55 min drive. If that means you have to invite people without a plus one, then that’s what you need to do. Maybe instead of inviting people you don’t know, you can send an announcement after the wedding.
Post # 13
She is paying for the rehersal dinner up to $1,000. (I’m not sure that I consider that paying for the wedding?) I sould so selfish saying that.
I’m going through the spreadsheet right now and labeling people who won’t come to see how many we come down to.
Post # 14
Can you compromise on the situation? Have the ceremony where you would like it with the 50 or so people that the two of you would like to have present and then afterward have a reception in the larger town for everyone? Still not ideal, but then it would be a smaller number of people traveling and then hopefully not having to drive back the 55 miles at the end of the night. Or just having a larger reception at some other date? The current situation sounds like it is a potential nightmare just waiting to happen.
Post # 15
I tihnk it’s time to sit down with the ‘rents and the FI and be ruthless about the list. I’m having a hard time understanding why we need to invite our boss’s kids who live in Utah and whose last name FI doesn’t know… what the hell.
I hate this. I’m not having fun.