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The seller I requested an alchemy on Etsy from (custom dress) was very communicative and quick to respond at first, but communication has been sporadic ever since the payment went through and she (supposedly) ordered the fabric. I went her a message on the 16th asking if the extra fabric (in case I needed the dress to be let out) would be in tucks, meaning it'd be hidden away and the dress would fit me when it arrived. No response...I sent another message yesterday (five days from last message I sent) asking if she'd gotten my message and if she could please update me, with pics if possible, once a week.
No response.
I saw from her profile that she was active yesterday, disputing a negative review or something. I'm just baffled as to why she wouldn't take even a minute to read and respond to my message! It's not like I'm bugging her every day or anything.
I'm getting nervous about the lack of communication; the ball is in her court now. What would you do, Bees? It's not something I can go to customer service with, since her deadline is in early November. But I'm getting nervous because my money is in the hands of a stranger and I have no idea what's going on. She said she'd keep me posted on progress (sort of) but I am just freaked out that she hasn't responded yet.
Help calm me down, please? =/
Hmm, ok, don't worry. She probably isn't prioritizing the project right now since it's not a rush job. Did you all set a date for it to be done by?
@stillme: November 10 is the deadline, but I don't know if that means when she's supposed to be done or when it's supposed to ship. I was hoping for it to be done earlier, but I do want her to take her time so it turns out well. By the same token, though...she could totally put it off until the last minute and do a crap job (I don't think that's going to happen, based on the quality of her other work). I need to chillll. And snuggle with the cat or something, haha!
How did you pay? If it's paypal, you always have the option of disputing the claim and getting your money back so that should ease your mind a bit.
What seller is this? Does she have a history of this kind of thing?
First off, deep breaths. Sometimes sellers just see one thing in their email and focus in on it - a negative review would definitely do that.
Now, what I would do is write a non-threatening but firm email stating you would like progress updates every week, including pictures starting as soon as possible and for them to please reply in 24 hours so you know they have received this email. If they haven't replied within that time period, resend the email. The exact same email, word for word. By being non-threatening and constantly emailing them you will get a response that's also helpful and it doesn't make the seller go on the offensive. It's a tactic that I've used a lot, especially when it came to getting vendors to contact me again and I found it worked like a charm every time.
No worries - - This is my suggestion, I would write her another message letting her know what you hope to receive from her in re: to communication. Kindly ask for her to tell you if its possible she can commit to your request. This is a time sensitive matter as she is making a dress for you and you wish to be in the 'loop' regarding its status.
She might be busy, tied up with other pressing projects. IMO that is no reason for zero feedback, however, we all have different time management and priority plans 
If you don't hear back you might need to closely examine what you are and are not willing to do. You can file a PayPal dispute within 45 days of payment in order to receive your $$ back. You will not get money back if its after 45 days.
Hope that info is helpful - Heads up I'm sure everything will work out perfectly 
Although she has responded to you before using their message system, can you check to see if there is another way of contacting her? I know that Etsy can be somewhat difficult to check messages. I guess the best thing for you to do is look to see if she left you a phone number or a personal email
All in all I'm so sorry this is happening. And you definitely have a right to FREAK out! It is your wedding, and you want everything to be perfect. My suggestion to you is to work on other details of the wedding, while waiting for her response. Put your efforts in trying to find the most "fantastical" shoes! Just find a way to take your mind off of the dress. I know it's hard! I had a really difficult time with wedding dress shopping :(.
Can you post a link on here indicating the dress you are having made? I'm sure we'd love to help you pick out some fancy matching accessories 
!
zippylef's advice is good. I'd also ask her if she'll agree to send it to you by, say, October 10, so that you have time to alter it if you need to at all.
Zippylef - We used Paypal. I don't want to dispute the claim yet...I mean, if the deadline comes and goes and I have heard nothing, I definitely will. But it's only been about two weeks since I ordered so I'm not quite there yet. The two negative reviews were potentially bogus--she has a good feedback record otherwise and her website/portfolio was outstanding, so I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Littlemissmoo - That's true about the negative review. I did send a message yesterday saying (in a nutshell), "I just wanted to make sure you received my last message. Also, can you send me a progress report each week?" I wonder if I should re-send it in a couple of days?
@Statutory Grape: Haha. I wasnt talking disputing it right away. I was just saying that it's an option, if things so sour.
More than likely, your dress is just a low-priority to her, like some of the PP said. Your dress is not overly complicated, it's totally something that an experienced seamstress could bang out in a couple days no problem.
The lack of communication, on the other hand, IS a problem. I agree with jackie-o, just be persistant until you get a reply.
Jackie-o : Also true. It's not terribly time-sensitive as the dress deadline is a year from our date, but I still want to know! Haha.
Allieisasweety: I've checked her website and found a generic phone number that looks suspicious (Um, is 555-555-5555 even real?) and an email address, so I can try the email in a few days if I don't hear back. The dress I'm having made is based on the Edmonton dress by Dolly Couture, but in green. :) I have my jewelry picked out and just need to make a fascinator...I'm doing plain ivory shoes as well, against the advice of pretty much everyone. ;)
Stillme : I'm not terribly worried about alterations since it is being made to my measurements (with a few inches of "wiggle room" in the tucks, just in case). October 10 is right around the corner! Eek!
Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you may need to reconsider your approach to the making of this dress. This really sounds like a repeat of the situation you had with your friend who was making the dress for you. If you give people a deadline of November, and we are in September they are going to prioritise their work accordingly. You are currently panicking because she is not responding, but really she may be perceiving your communications as incessant and perhaps she hasn't had time to get to it yet.
I would say that @littlemissmoo: is right about the approach you should take. You should write a nice calm message detailing what your expectations are communication wise. You didn't like it when I said it before, but it bears repeating: your wedding is not for another year and 2 months, you should give this seller a chance to meet the deadline before assuming that she will not.
ETA: Plaintains - It's the lack of communication that worries me because this is more money-based than the situation with my friend (where I ended up only being out the cost of the pattern and the muslin). The fact that it's a bigger purchase, combined with the noncommunication, is what worries me. If this is a reputable seller and experienced seamstress, responding in a timely manner should NOT be a problem...
My message wasn't to the tune of "is it done yet," but more or less, "Can you do this?" (about the tucks versus just making the dress too big, and then asking about updates, which I think was a resonable request).
@Statutory Grape:If she doesn't reply in a couple days I'd send the same message and just tag a deadline onto it - chances are she read it, and thought "oh I'll respond later" and we all know what happens when we think that....
I agree that I should probably have added a deadline to the response. Oops!
Ah, nevermind, I thought her deadline was Nov. 10, 2011, and I was thinking--that's cutting it a little close to your wedding! ;o) Yeah, so since it's Nov. 10, 2010, she should definitely be responding to your emails! I'd keep hounding her.
@ Stillme - Do you think tomorrow might be a good time to re-send the message, with a deadline?
I know what you are saying, but like I said I still think based on that situation and this beginning to mirror that, your expectations when it comes to having work custom done for you are different from most a lot of other people. I kmpw the lack of commication is scary, but your payment is protected so you can take a deep breath. May do what littlemissmoo suggested and put the deadline in the message title e.g. UPDATE: Response requested by xxxxxxx.
Also, the whole thing about reputable sellers and experienced seamstresses being able to respond to every email you send right away does not actually follow. If she has lots of business and lots of clients, she may not actually respond as soon as you would like. This happens all the time in life. Especially since her deadline is not for two months. She ,ay have skimmed the message to see if it was urgent and fied it with the rest of her non-urgent correspondence to deal with as soon as she can. All I am saying is that you should try not to get ahead of yourself and turn this into an issue IF there isn't really one.
Ah, I see. Thanks for the perspective on it. :) I'm just nervous about getting screwed since this is one of the most expensive wedding-related purchases so far (I mean, aside from the venue and, eventually, food).
Yes, it really is scary stuff this wedding planning business! You'll be okay I'm sure. Let us know what happens, I'm really looking forward to seeing the fabulous dress one day!:)
@Statutory Grape: Yes, I would definitely re-send the message tomorrow, with a deadline. You're not asking her to suddenly have the dress ready next week or something--you're just asking that she communicate with you, which is just standard business practice. It's not hounding her at all--it's just being smart, making sure you're on the same page from the beginning.
@Plaintains - Oh god, I am so excited. :) I'll picspam the second it arrives.
@Stillme - Thanks for the advice! I feel a little pushy, but I think a deadline is the way to go. Still can't believe I didn't think of it before, though.
@StatutoryGrape-
Not to alarm you, but I strongly encourage you to have a back-up dress in hand (buy something, leave the tags on so you can return if you don't end up using it). I was working with a local seamstress (that I found on Etsy, with great reviews and lots of fashion industry experience) to make a very simple dress for our City Hall wedding. The seamstress was working on it up until the day before the ceremony (she said she was too bogged down with other projects to tackle it earlier) -- the dress did not fit well at all and there was not enough time to correct it. She refunded my money and I ended up wearing something out of my closet. It was still a great day, I was very happy to marry my fiance (we're having a larger religious ceremony in a few weeks, but we are legally married now!) but the dress issue definitely had me scrambling at the last minute and I don't want to see another bride go through that if it can be mitigated.
Definitely give the Etsy seller more time. You never know what can happen. As a business owner, I try to answer emails as quickly as I can. But there are time when orders have to be prioritized. Keep the 45 day limit in mind with paypal. That goes into effect from the day payment was made.
If this falls through, I would suggest working locally. The dress design is not all to difficult. I asked the costume design instructor, at the university I am attending, to make a slew of custom vintage-style aprons for me for Christmas presents last year. It might be worthwhile to see if this would be an option at a college/university in your area. They may even have a matching pattern on file from previous period theatre productions. They may need to fit you around their production schedule (I waited until winter break), but you still have more than a year 'til the wedding.
Just a thought...
@ Sf carrie & Scottielass: Both good pieces of advice! Thank you. :) I mean, if all else fails, I can try to find something from Daddy O's or Modcloth (I've had excellent luck with both), but I'm really hoping this works out. I wish the Paypal thing covered until the deadline, though...damn!
Okay, so I didn't get a response and started a totally new message with the same request, but this time I put, in the subject, "Please respond by 9-24." If there's no response by tomorrow evening (I sent it this morning at 9:00), I'll send it again. But if she still doesn't respond, then what do I do?
If she doesn't respond, I would wait a week or so to give her absolutely enough time to respond (meaning that if she doesn't respond by then, there is no good excuse for it).
If she doesn't have the dress ready by November 10th, then what? I'm not saying that's going to happen but I'm just curious as to why that is your deadline? Since you'll still have a year left at that point (and if there is no pressing reason to have the dress done immediately), maybe just try not to stress too much, and if she takes longer than her deadline, can you request some money back (like 10% or so)? I'm not sure, but at least you can take solace in the fact that you do have enough time to figure something else out if this doesn't work right and that your payment is secure.
I really don't know what I'd do in this situation. Did you try her phone number? I'm not saying you need to speak with her on the phone, but I'd probably dial the number just to see if it is a real number or not, then say, "sorry, wrong number," or something like that (making sure to block my number, lol). Just so you know that you have a way for immediate contact, if necessary. That may put your mind at ease a little bit.
Anyway, I hope she responds soon and this will all be a moot point.
@JenniMichele: That was the maximum deadline allowed for an alchemy transaction, haha. It literally would not let me put in a later one for some reason. I do hope she responds soon...I can give her the week, but past that, you're right--it's inexcusable to take that long, even if you're busy. I haven't tried the phone number but a bunch of 5's (all 5's, hah) looks really suspect to me, like they just made the number up. I remember hearing once that "555-5555" is not an actual phone number, but I could be wrong.
@Statutory Grape: Ohh, I thought you meant it was similarly generic to 555-555-5555. I didn't know it was that exact number! I always thought 555 numbers were only for tv/ movies. That's all you ever see on them anyway.Hmmm... could you google her name/ business name? I wonder if that would provide a phone number.
Either way, since you seem to have the time, try not to stress too much and maybe it'll turn out fine. :)
@JenniMichele: The only thing that comes up is the website, which has the bogus number, lol! I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best, though.
This has happened to me TWICE over a two month period with furniture alchemy (I placed an order with a guy for a dining table and someone else for a coffee table- about 1500 bucks total)
Etsy does nothing to help you recoup your funds (I emailed them, filled out the forms, etc.. etc.. NOTHING). The first step if you want to try is to email them at abuse@etsy.com and explain the situation. They'll direct you to some form. You'll fill that out and they'll ask you to fill out something else.. then you stop hearing from them.
Dispute the charge with paypal or with your credit card company. One of the seller's a used a credit card for- the company removed the charge immediatley. Paypal took a little longer but I got my money back.
I just looked at the message log and the last response I got from her was a week ago. Since then, she's listed a few new items in her shop (on 9.21) and it irks me that it's taking SO long to get back to me...when is it safe to start worrying and perhaps disputing the transaction? I don't want to be hasty and really want to give the benefit of the doubt, but this is stressful. This is worse than the situation with my friend who was going to make the dress but never updated...because this woman now has $180 of my money and is not responding. :(
Us brides tend to get impatient lol
I would give her the week to respond, since you sent multiple messages I think that is fair warning enough.
If you get no answer in a week, I would send her a message saying you will be asking for a refund through the paypal protection, if still no response, just get your money back and start dress shopping again.
You have plenty of time!
And if you start freaking out this early on you will go crazy by the wedding! lol :-D
@Ivlanie: She can't dispute it if I do the Paypal thing, right? I mean, I'm starting to get a little pissed at the lack of a response, LOL. I get that the deadline is two months out, but I need to know if she's doing it or not ASAP because of the 45-day policy. We're going on week two from the order date and while she was very responsive and eager to help up until I paid, communication dropped off oddly once I sent my measurements. And now, it's been a week with nothing...argh!
The thought of having to start all over again sucks, but it's better than being screwed out of that money. MOH mentioned a woman in Galena who makes costumes, though she's tough to get hold of.
One seller took my money, emailed me the first week, and then fell off the face of the planet.. I got my money back from paypal but only because his account was insured. If he hadn't of had the seller's insurance I would have been SOL. The only thing etsy did was cancel the transaction so I can't leave negative feedback (?!)
The other seller was a legitimate scam- I logged on and saw the coffee table of my dreams. Emailed the seller, she emailed me back, I paid, she said it would take four weeks. I waited a month before asking her when my table would be finished. No reply. I waited a few days and logged back in to etsy and the shop was gone. ?! I emailed the seller at the address they provided etsy with and got a reply a few days later about how they didn't like etsy's seller fees and my table would arrive within the week. Another week passed, no table. I emailed them again to hear how the lady's son was in a car accident etc..etc.. That same day I was browsing etsy and found the exact coffee table I had ordered from her shop under a new shop owners name (same photos, description, everything). I disputed the charge with my credit card after. The sad thing is I reported it to etsy and they never did anything about it- the new shop had 10 new sales. 10 people going to get screwed.
I would send your seller a polite email stating you don't mean to rush her, but you'd like to hear from her at some point within the next few days. If you don't you'll file a complaint. My processes took a really long time because I was skiddish about being nuisance. My husband and I went two months without a dining table.
My best advice is always to have a back up plan just in case! But I hope things work out, and I wouldn't worry terribly yet.
@maureen9004: I'm nervous about seeming like a nuisance, too! :( I'll try to give it a week (from today) but if nothing then, I'm thinking I'll send a warning that I will dispute it...and if nothing then, I'll just do it. Argh, this sucks. The closest custom dressmaker in Iowa is two hours away!
Oh, and I did find an alternative email address from her Paypal account. Not sure if I should send an email tonight or wait...
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