Post # 1
So, my best friend and I have parted ways due to her losing control of her mental function.
She had things stored in my grandparents’ garage for three years that she went and picked up this morning, but she refused to bring any of my things (that she borrowed within the last 2 months and I had been asking for prior to the breakup) with her on the principle that I had “treated her badly” and owed her for a game that she lost. She demanded that I give her back the PS2 she gave me for Christmas as well as a $50 game I had bought her for her birthday and she gave me back because she “never played it anyway”.
Is there any sort of legal recourse I have here? I don’t care about getting my stuff back at this point because I don’t feel she is mentally stable, but I don’t want her to continuously contact me about things she no longer owns. She keeps coming around my parents and grandparents and told me I could not tell her to stay away from them. I’m starting to get freaked out and I no longer feel safe in my own home when she is in town. She has been to anger management in the past and I am afraid she could get violent. Can I get a restraining order against her?
(I am in Ohio)
Post # 3
WOW. I am not a lawyer so I don’t know about a restraining order or anything but I know that if she gives you something as a gift she shouldn’t ask for it back. Also she has stuff of yours that she won’t give back? RIDICULOUS! What do your parents/grandparents think of the situation? Can they tell her to keep away and stop contacting them? If they ask and she doesn’t stay away they can get restraining orders. You can probably get one too if you have a valid reason, which from her psychoness, showing up at your parents, threatening you and violent past. Keep us updated, lets hope she just goes away!
Post # 4
I am not in the legal field either, but I would suggest contacting your local police and ask them what you can do. I also suggest keeping a diary and pictures of when she tries to contact you. Write everything down and keep an eye on your parents and grandparents. If they feel they are in jeopardy, they could also see about getting a restraining order.
Post # 5
I’m with @Noritake on documenting EVERYTHING. Even if it’s something really small that you think is irrelevant….document it. Also keep ALL voicemails from her. I would contact your local cops and see what your options are. Has she been violent to you in the past or threatened violence?
Post # 6
I have saved every voicemail, message, and facebook convo to this point. She’s never threatened violence, but I know that she has a temper and “play” beats up her fiance. They’re constantly leaving bruises on each other from biting each other. She’s supposedly coming on Tuesday to get the rest of her stuff but I don’t know if she is bringing mine or not.
My grandfather has already stated that if she doesn’t bring my things back she is not allowed in the building and her phone is getting shut off immediately (original agreement was when the month is up on the 26th).
Post # 7
1) Document everything
2) Get a Temporary Restraining Order against her.
I don’t do domestic or criminal law so I’m not 100% on how you do that… but I bet a little googling will help you out. If you have a TRO and she violates it by calling or coming to yours or your family’s houses again, she can be arrested.
Post # 8
RESTRAINING ORDER!!! and quickly.
Post # 9
You can’t just get a restraining order because someone is annoying you. She legally has to threaten your person.
I think that your grandfather has the idea with not giving her stuff back unless she gives you your stuff, but does he even know what all she owes you? Make a list so that he can check everything off if you aren’t there.
Also, it doesn’t matter that she’s mental, you should take every action against her as if she wasn’t. The only way that the police know a person is a problem is by receiving reports. Many mentally unstable individuals end up stabbing someone and the cops never knew the danger until afterwards when everyone who knows them says “Yeah, she was scary and messed up but I never did anything about it.”
If she does threaten to hurt you, your family, or your property, file for a TRO with the police and notify them IMMEDIATELY when she breaks it. If she doesn’t, simply tell her that if she continues to harass you and your family you will file a police report. A threat may be enough to get her to either stop or escalate to a threat which you can use to get the TRO.
PS-She has no legal right to request you return a gift. Don’t give her back the game or PS2. If she keeps asking, tell her she’s welcome to file for them in small claims court, but she’s never just getting them back from you. If she does file it will be a waste of her time.
Post # 10
Ohio law has very limited protection orders. You don’t actually have to be threatened that’s not correct – however, Ohio basically limits their protection orders to domestic cases or if you’re being stalked. This is all civil though.
If you chose to file cirminal charges against her, you could then get an order of protection. You’d have to file charges (menacing, aggravated trespass, etc) and then you’d probably be eligible even though she isn’t a family member.
Best idea is to go to your local police station present them with the facts of your case and see what they can do for you.
Unfortunately Ohio doesn’t offer lots of protection for people who aren’t familial/romantic and also don’t want to pursue the criminal route – stupid Ohio.
Post # 11
Thank you so much for the advice! I’ve blocked her on facebook but she still has my father as a friend (he has nothing to do with her) and she was trying to get at me through BF’s facebook until he blocked her as well. She’s continuing to post slanderous statements, but I haven’t bothered retorting because I know that will not solve anything. I will not be in town when she attempts to retrieve “her” other belongings and she does not know where BF lives so I feel much safer staying with him. My parents and grandparents are fully ready to call the police if she tries anything at this point. I am just tired of the stress that this is causing between BF and I. I haven’t slept well in 3 days because everytime I think it’s over she tries to call or stir things up all over again.
I’m totally considering filing charges for harassment. It’s getting to the point where she is making up stories and spreading them around and I’ve lost people I thought were friends to the drama. Not that I will miss them, but I don’t like that she’s trying to screw up my reputation.
Post # 12
Honestly at this point I would just throw her stuff away. Why even deal with her? She’d have to file a police report or claim, and without proof that you have it, she’s pretty much SOL. Does the stuff of yours that she has really matter that much? Is it worth forgetting about that stuff to get her out of your life? The less you even have to deal with her at this point, the better. And filing reports from you, your parents, AND your grandparents would definitely help. Multiple reports on one person will really help your case!
And good job avoiding the FB posting war, that’s definitely a good idea!
Post # 13
I don’t care about getting my stuff back, but my mom does because they were Christmas gifts from mom to me. I don’t want to deal with her anymore but I can’t really do anything about her trying to make contact at this point aside from become unavailable.