Holiday houseguests, FFFFUUUUUUUUU …. !!!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@iarebridezilla:  oh wow!! That’s ok I feel like that when I go to VISIT my parents. They have the best intentions but can be a little uncouth (?) Sometimes it’s embarassing. Only 1 more day sweets. Hugs!

Post # 4
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@iarebridezilla:  oh my dear lord this is going to be my FFIL. Except he won’t help he’ll just make mess and be annoying.

my FFIL says goddamn every other word. “Well godddamn we need milk.” , “get me one of them there goddamn beers out of the fridge” ” yeeeeeeep this is a good meal, gooddam” 

while I’m not overly religious my family is and I cringe at them meeting. I hope our fathers don’t fist fight or my sweet aunt cry over how often GD is used. 

i have NO IDEA how my FI is his son. No clue. 

I just know I want to murder him and he’s not even part of my family until October. 

Post # 7
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@iarebridezilla:  LMAO it seems he’s lost his sense of urgency…or he never had it. 

Either way this is one of those stories where I want to say “ohhh bless him” and give him a hug and you a shot of jäger. 

Post # 8
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@iarebridezilla:  This happened ONCE with my step kids, because they would invade our house for the entirety of winter break…that first Christmas:

My step-daughter promptly littered the carpet of her bedroom with clothes, then my stepson set up tiny clusters of micro machine cars near the stairs and doorways in an effort to kill or cripple both Mr. 99 and I.

THEN, they took over the television room, took off their socks, laid across the sofas with the TV on max volume, both staring at their phones, texting their friends about how bored they were.

Then it was time to torment the dogs by teasing them with their own toys and letting them outside, getting distracted, forgetting to let them back in and almost sending the greyhound into hypothermia…good thing he was a loud dog, Mr. 99 to the rescue with a towel from the dryer.

By the time I got home from work, the house reeked of like…ham sandwiches, ass and teenaged angst…there was just shit everywhere, plates with half eaten food, magazines, toys, a freakin hairbrush, wet towels on the bathroom floor…you name it, they left it somewhere….

My husband was totally frazzled from trying to keep up with all the bullshit and finally just hid in the office with the dogs and the cat pretending to “pay bills” while the kids laid around and stared vacantly into space.

I tolerated that crap for exactly TWO days..

On the third day, I came home, looked around, loaded the dogs and Mr. 99 in the car and we left….it was bliss, we went to a Sonic, had fries, fed the dogs tater tots, and made our plan of attack for when we returned.

The kids were in a panic, wondering where we went, what was for dinner…if we were coming back at all….

We advised them that The Wallowing was over, they learned to do their own laundry, each of them had to cook two meals a week, they helped us budget for groceries and bills and gas, my step-daughter came to work and helped with filing and faxing and other things while my step-son learned how to change the oil in Mr. 99’s car, how to fix a leaky faucet and helped out at my Grandpa’s house…by the time Christmas Vacation was over..they were exhausted and happy to go back to school…

I thought they would never want to come back after all the work I put them to…but miracles of miracles, they begged and begged to be with us the next Christmas and over the summer, because they had so much fun doing all that stuff with us…

Its unfortunate that your dealing with an adult…its at this point that I would just give him a shit ton of benedryll and let him sleep until his flight…before he shrinks all of your bras and sets the house on fire.


Post # 10
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@iarebridezilla:  CAN YOU WRITE A BOOK!?! 

Honestly you’re one of my favorite people on here because I can’t read a post of yours without smiling/giggling like a fool. Write a book i will buy it and be your biggest fan HAHAHAHA 

Post # 13
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@iarebridezilla:  haha it’s not the people you’re talking about so much as your writing style. 

Make people up! 

Post # 14
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@iarebridezilla:  AH! Your FIL and my MIL should be in the same club! So many issues with technology, the dishes, good-hearted-ness underneath the weirdness and she lives in CA!

When my ILs visited our home for the first time after we bought it, she took to LANDSCAPING while I was at work. I came home, she’s covered in dirt, sweaty, and there’s a massive pile of “weeds” (aka plants) that she’d “trimmed” (aka killed) on our sidewalk. I was so upset, I had to hide in my bedroom to cool down. She’d clearly worked all day long to do something nice for us, but uh, why didn’t she ask first?

She loves grocery shopping for us, but she doesn’t ever ask what it is we need. She looks through our trash and at our leftovers and just buys the same stuff! Fine in theory, but we always end up to with too much of some things and not enough of others. One time, she found an old grocery list in the trash, used that, thus doubling up on almost everything. She didn’t bother to look in the fridge to realize we had JUST gone to the store with that very list. 

I have learned to laugh at her craziness and politely ask her to do things differently, she’s not one to argue, thankfully. When she does the dishes, I ask that she just put all the dry stuff in one spot, so I can put it away. And we walked through how to use our washer and dryer…several times. She’s got it now. After 8 years of MIL management, I actually find her visits really comforting and helpful. She IS a wonderful grandma to my niece and nephew, somehow very responsible with children despite her strange household habits. I’m excited to see her care for our baby when it comes next summer…as long as she stays away from the dishes.

And I totally agree with @Laurenskii:  I want to read your book lady!

Post # 16
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@iarebridezilla:  Your FIL must really like ice cream.

I can sympathize. My husband has an Aunt we are both quite fond of. She absolutely dotes on my husband and has been quite good to both of us. She came to visit us over the summer and I understood with complete clarity how animals can chew off their own foot to escape a trap.

She talks non-stop. Not only that, but it’s virtually impossible to follow the thread of her conversation because it wanders around from people and events from 40 years ago to what the barista in their local Starbuck’s is doing on Spring break.

There is no directing the conversation. We could tell her we built a rocketship in our backyard and flew to the moon last week and it would not prompt one follow-up question from her. Instead, it would remind her of her Mother’s best friend’s third cousin who when he was three, ran away to the local bakery that used to make THE best doughnuts until the store burnt down and then later reopened as a drugstore where her next door neighbor that suffered from chronic bad breath worked until her husband ran off with that girl who worked at the funeral parlor whee Aunt Betsy had her funeral and do you remember the ugly flowers cousin Eddie sent and so on and so forth infinity.

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